rollercoaster we call life
why is it every time I start to get comfortable in my own skin, with my life, again Im ripped from it with avengence....I hate roller coasters..actual and metaphorically emotional...Ill wait til he realizes it not gunna work...especially since he has a feeling it wont...but I cant wait too long..it hurts too much...im forver wondering whats going on..wanting to call, and text and be with...but i cant. Im more lonely now than ever..i was truly happy for a while...and it was all taken away so suddenly...i respect his need to give it a 2nd chance to make sure so as not to go on thru life thinging what-if...but it hurts so damn much....she wont ever be able to treat him like i do...thats for sure...the act they both have on will only last for so long before the facades get dropped and the bitching and controlling begins again...the question is, how long will it take....a week? two? a month? 6 months? I hate not feeling in control..and right now i feel like im spiriling out of control. I cant be alone in my own head.