(no subject)
How is it possible to feel so tired even though I haven't done anything all day? My life has turned into an endless rut. God knows I love Christian more than anything and that I'm so, so happy that we're living together, but I am just so tired of being unemployed and having my life revolve around household chores. Seriously, here is a look at a typical day for me:
8:30AM - Wake up, check the weather
9:00AM - Christian goes to work
9:01AM to 4:30PM - Look online and apply for jobs, watch mindless television, load and empty dishwasher, vaccuum, throw in 1 or 2 loads of laundry, feed the cat, make the bed, pick up livingroom, kitchen, bedrooms and bathroom, figure out what's for dinner.
4:30PM - Christian comes home, takes a shower, I pick up clothes and towels discarded on bedroom or bathroom floor
5:30PM - Make dinner, eat
6:30PM to 11:00PM - Watch a movie, harass the cat, watch more mindless television, smoke, watch Christian lose at Xbox
11:00PM - I pass out in bed, while he comes in somewhere around midnight or a bit later.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
It is the same thing every day with the exception of possibly going over my parent's house to do laundry or spontaneously rearraging the livingroom furniture. I am exhausted. At first, I could handle it and even enjoyed it to a certain extent. It gave me the rush of being able to take care of things and prove to myself and him that I am a responsible adult despite not having a job. Now, it's just such an endless cycle that I almost feel like a zombie.
I never imagined that trying to find work, whether full-time or part-time, would be so difficult. Just yesterday alone I must have applied to at least 8, both in my area and out of state, and yet I'm not getting anything. It feels like one giant conspiracy against me ever since I left the Wentworth. I was getting anywhere from 2 to 6 offers a month up until 4 months ago and suddenly it's abruptly stopped. Something better change before I lose my mind.
8:30AM - Wake up, check the weather
9:00AM - Christian goes to work
9:01AM to 4:30PM - Look online and apply for jobs, watch mindless television, load and empty dishwasher, vaccuum, throw in 1 or 2 loads of laundry, feed the cat, make the bed, pick up livingroom, kitchen, bedrooms and bathroom, figure out what's for dinner.
4:30PM - Christian comes home, takes a shower, I pick up clothes and towels discarded on bedroom or bathroom floor
5:30PM - Make dinner, eat
6:30PM to 11:00PM - Watch a movie, harass the cat, watch more mindless television, smoke, watch Christian lose at Xbox
11:00PM - I pass out in bed, while he comes in somewhere around midnight or a bit later.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
It is the same thing every day with the exception of possibly going over my parent's house to do laundry or spontaneously rearraging the livingroom furniture. I am exhausted. At first, I could handle it and even enjoyed it to a certain extent. It gave me the rush of being able to take care of things and prove to myself and him that I am a responsible adult despite not having a job. Now, it's just such an endless cycle that I almost feel like a zombie.
I never imagined that trying to find work, whether full-time or part-time, would be so difficult. Just yesterday alone I must have applied to at least 8, both in my area and out of state, and yet I'm not getting anything. It feels like one giant conspiracy against me ever since I left the Wentworth. I was getting anywhere from 2 to 6 offers a month up until 4 months ago and suddenly it's abruptly stopped. Something better change before I lose my mind.