(no subject)

[ghettocasper]

You can write about it in songs, you can say that she was sad...that her days were all the same and she had that look in her eyes..you can say it in a chorus, repeat it more than once, but to you it doesn't mean anything, and to me it's all the fucking same. It's different when you feel it, feel it in your bones, when you know exactly what was behind those eyes, the ones you only saw that once. Well, me? I live with her, I live with her everyday, and I know what she was thinking, when all you knew was that she was unhappy, I know just what that is. It's different to live that life, and hear those songs, to know just how shitty it really fucking is, day in and day out, over and over again. Your words don't do it justice, and neither do mine, because it's not something so shallow, as to be reproduced in sound. To me, we are the same person, that you wrote about that once, to me I am her and I know, all of what it truly is. It's not worth writing about, when no one's really listening. It's not worth saying it out loud, when it's something too much to be expressed. So what, then, am I supposed to do? With writing my only exit, and all my doors are blocked.

I can't even fucking express the way I feel right now, not even to myself.