haha.
the damn time change has got me all fucked up. but its cool.
mom bought me some jeans, and im happy, because they are a pants size smaller than the last ones i bought. its cool. i feel really good about myself. ali told me that i looked pretty today<333. i just love feeling good about myself, and having other people see the glow around me.
carly gave me airheads, thanks carly. i wuv u, tons.
cant wait for chicago. it will be really fun. as long as i dont choke the fuck out of megan. dont u hate when people stare at you? when u can feel the burning sensation on your neck and you literally just want to turn around and chug a desk or a person rather at them? im feeling that way about some people. yup, sure am. and fuck you, honestly, to say that i make you mad. i really dont care. if your going to bail on me, i wont be there, never again. screw you.
guys are confusing me again. if only they didnt exist. well, then id die, because i couldnt just depend on dildos and the what not. ahh, completely different story. sorry. got carried away there. oh no. im ignorrant, sometimes, well alot, but its part of growing up and changing and learning things. im aware that im not the brighest crayon in the crayon box. oo, that makes me want to color.
i just kind of feel like sitting here and listening to music for another hour or so. and that i shall do.
my moms asking me what i want for christmas. haha, maybe ill make out a list of what i want. well, just the cds. i feel like she doesnt owe me anything for christmas. yesterday she called me a fat ass bitch. not in a joking (even that isnt nice for me, the word fat makes me cringe) matter or anything. i broke down. came up to my room. thought long and hard about the reasons why i want to lose weight and the reasons that i want to achieve in school and just overall succeed. and i found alot of the doings to please my parents, to make them proud of me.. and now that im sitting here writing it, im also aware that i am doing this for myself. so i dont know. maybe for the wrong reasons, maybe i need to contemplate longer and harder on this, just to justify a reason why things are going good in life and who they are for. hey, this is all helping ME in the long run. so i guess theres my answer.
i was drinking a diet pepsi this morning, and the shit wouldnt stop fizzing. for like 10 minutes. it scared the crap out of me. as did darkness falls. im afraid of the dark. even more now. i didnt sleep last night w/out the tv on. im a dork. but its alll gravy baby.
ahhh.
mom bought me some jeans, and im happy, because they are a pants size smaller than the last ones i bought. its cool. i feel really good about myself. ali told me that i looked pretty today<333. i just love feeling good about myself, and having other people see the glow around me.
carly gave me airheads, thanks carly. i wuv u, tons.
cant wait for chicago. it will be really fun. as long as i dont choke the fuck out of megan. dont u hate when people stare at you? when u can feel the burning sensation on your neck and you literally just want to turn around and chug a desk or a person rather at them? im feeling that way about some people. yup, sure am. and fuck you, honestly, to say that i make you mad. i really dont care. if your going to bail on me, i wont be there, never again. screw you.
guys are confusing me again. if only they didnt exist. well, then id die, because i couldnt just depend on dildos and the what not. ahh, completely different story. sorry. got carried away there. oh no. im ignorrant, sometimes, well alot, but its part of growing up and changing and learning things. im aware that im not the brighest crayon in the crayon box. oo, that makes me want to color.
i just kind of feel like sitting here and listening to music for another hour or so. and that i shall do.
my moms asking me what i want for christmas. haha, maybe ill make out a list of what i want. well, just the cds. i feel like she doesnt owe me anything for christmas. yesterday she called me a fat ass bitch. not in a joking (even that isnt nice for me, the word fat makes me cringe) matter or anything. i broke down. came up to my room. thought long and hard about the reasons why i want to lose weight and the reasons that i want to achieve in school and just overall succeed. and i found alot of the doings to please my parents, to make them proud of me.. and now that im sitting here writing it, im also aware that i am doing this for myself. so i dont know. maybe for the wrong reasons, maybe i need to contemplate longer and harder on this, just to justify a reason why things are going good in life and who they are for. hey, this is all helping ME in the long run. so i guess theres my answer.
i was drinking a diet pepsi this morning, and the shit wouldnt stop fizzing. for like 10 minutes. it scared the crap out of me. as did darkness falls. im afraid of the dark. even more now. i didnt sleep last night w/out the tv on. im a dork. but its alll gravy baby.
ahhh.