There Will Be Saunas
Here I sit. I arrived at my mother’s place in New Jersey only three days ago, but clocks turn slothful when you’re located somewhere you’d rather not be. I knew this stay would count six nights, yet I began packing on the first. I’ve met with my father a couple times already. Anyone who knows our relationship can imagine that these experiences were very trying. I’ve seen a couple faces I’ll certainly miss, so at least there’s that. In general, my days seem to fill themselves, but when they end I don’t feel any sense of productivity. I made a countdown online for my departure from the house and it’s broken down (by this, I mean converted) into days, hours, minutes, and seconds. It’ll change by the end of the sentence, but currently it reads: 3 days - 76 hours - 4570 minutes - 274244 seconds.
I’ve been looping a few albums this entire time. In order:
1) Laura Stevenson and the Cans’ Sit Resist
2) Wringer’s Cool Story
3) Akira Yamaoka’s Shadows of the Damned Original Soundtrack
4) James Newton Howard’s The Hunger Games Original Score
The first I found to be incredible. I was interested in hearing it after seeing LS&tC perform in Manhattan a month or so ago and it did not disappoint. The second I’ve already heard and enjoy very much. Wringer is a lot of fun and I love their style. It’s something that I’ve heard before, but it seems that no one is doing it these days. Consequently, it actually ends up sticking out. The third was not as good as the first SotD OST I found, but still enjoyable. I’m an Akira Yamaoka fan overall. The Hunger Games score was very well produced, but it has few parts that actually stick out. It’s simply not a memorable score. Listening to these albums, however, drove me into a train of thought regarding the continuity of albums in general. The line between writing a song and writing an album, I mean. The strength of a cohesive album is greatly augmented by how engaging the overarching story/tone/message is strung together. Consequently, albums with songs that may be individually a little weaker manage to hide beneath the fact that they fit the puzzle so perfectly.
This morning, I finally watched the Kickstarter backer update videos for Double Fine’s Adventure! Project. I felt… a lot of things. It made me very excited. I am very much looking forward to Adventure! and Tim Schafer actually revealed the skeleton of a plot for the game. Beyond that, however, I felt a bit sad, intimidated, confused, nostalgic, and whatever else. It was warming to see the game development team be together and find detail and insight in how they function, what makes them tick, and so forth. This is something I want so badly to be a part of, but I have such difficulty shaking the feeling that it might be out of my reach. It’s… very disappointing. So, yes, I feel discouraged. Nonetheless, my work toward it could never stop. I couldn’t cease to write music out of the blue. I’m incapable. Not only that, but I have my previous accomplishments to remind me that these efforts were, in fact, of some avail. I’m very proud of Anti-Swag Fiend Party’s only LP and am proud to be not only writing the entire soundtrack to a documentary right now, but am also being paid. Beyond this, here I am talking about wanting to be a part of a development team… and, in fact, I am! I am currently writing music for the upcoming iPhone/iPad game Melodus. Still… it does not feel like enough. I’m on my way, I guess. Maybe.
These things aside, my move to Finland is most imminent. Look at that counter up top. I don’t find myself becoming any more excited (because I was already really fucking excited to begin with), but I do find myself becoming increasingly nervous, especially for the Oulu program. I wish to be able to communicate with those around me. I want to establish friendships, meet people I’d want to see again, and hope that they want to see me again too. I really want my flatmates to like me. I already think that, in my excitement, I’ve probably made myself seem a bit foolish and annoyingly talkative. I’m simply overwhelmed and intensely excited (even for a person that’s typically excitable). I realize the language barrier will take me a hot minute to hop over and that, before it, I’ll be more difficult to reach and, honestly, less interesting until I’ve managed a way to connect on a less shallow level. So much of me isn’t a foreigner to Finland (and so hints the Finnish passport next to my computer :] ), but I’ll still be fumbling over the native language, asking dumb questions, and being overall unsure of what I’m doing with my life and in another country. I’m anticipating the discouraging feeling that’s sure to come within a few months in which I shall wonder if the move was the right thing, etc. It will be grinding and I’ll have to stick through, keep my whining to a minimal, and carry on until, as Rosenstock put it, I realize sometimes things are great.
At least there will be saunas.
I’ve been looping a few albums this entire time. In order:
1) Laura Stevenson and the Cans’ Sit Resist
2) Wringer’s Cool Story
3) Akira Yamaoka’s Shadows of the Damned Original Soundtrack
4) James Newton Howard’s The Hunger Games Original Score
The first I found to be incredible. I was interested in hearing it after seeing LS&tC perform in Manhattan a month or so ago and it did not disappoint. The second I’ve already heard and enjoy very much. Wringer is a lot of fun and I love their style. It’s something that I’ve heard before, but it seems that no one is doing it these days. Consequently, it actually ends up sticking out. The third was not as good as the first SotD OST I found, but still enjoyable. I’m an Akira Yamaoka fan overall. The Hunger Games score was very well produced, but it has few parts that actually stick out. It’s simply not a memorable score. Listening to these albums, however, drove me into a train of thought regarding the continuity of albums in general. The line between writing a song and writing an album, I mean. The strength of a cohesive album is greatly augmented by how engaging the overarching story/tone/message is strung together. Consequently, albums with songs that may be individually a little weaker manage to hide beneath the fact that they fit the puzzle so perfectly.
This morning, I finally watched the Kickstarter backer update videos for Double Fine’s Adventure! Project. I felt… a lot of things. It made me very excited. I am very much looking forward to Adventure! and Tim Schafer actually revealed the skeleton of a plot for the game. Beyond that, however, I felt a bit sad, intimidated, confused, nostalgic, and whatever else. It was warming to see the game development team be together and find detail and insight in how they function, what makes them tick, and so forth. This is something I want so badly to be a part of, but I have such difficulty shaking the feeling that it might be out of my reach. It’s… very disappointing. So, yes, I feel discouraged. Nonetheless, my work toward it could never stop. I couldn’t cease to write music out of the blue. I’m incapable. Not only that, but I have my previous accomplishments to remind me that these efforts were, in fact, of some avail. I’m very proud of Anti-Swag Fiend Party’s only LP and am proud to be not only writing the entire soundtrack to a documentary right now, but am also being paid. Beyond this, here I am talking about wanting to be a part of a development team… and, in fact, I am! I am currently writing music for the upcoming iPhone/iPad game Melodus. Still… it does not feel like enough. I’m on my way, I guess. Maybe.
These things aside, my move to Finland is most imminent. Look at that counter up top. I don’t find myself becoming any more excited (because I was already really fucking excited to begin with), but I do find myself becoming increasingly nervous, especially for the Oulu program. I wish to be able to communicate with those around me. I want to establish friendships, meet people I’d want to see again, and hope that they want to see me again too. I really want my flatmates to like me. I already think that, in my excitement, I’ve probably made myself seem a bit foolish and annoyingly talkative. I’m simply overwhelmed and intensely excited (even for a person that’s typically excitable). I realize the language barrier will take me a hot minute to hop over and that, before it, I’ll be more difficult to reach and, honestly, less interesting until I’ve managed a way to connect on a less shallow level. So much of me isn’t a foreigner to Finland (and so hints the Finnish passport next to my computer :] ), but I’ll still be fumbling over the native language, asking dumb questions, and being overall unsure of what I’m doing with my life and in another country. I’m anticipating the discouraging feeling that’s sure to come within a few months in which I shall wonder if the move was the right thing, etc. It will be grinding and I’ll have to stick through, keep my whining to a minimal, and carry on until, as Rosenstock put it, I realize sometimes things are great.
At least there will be saunas.