Short Valentine's Day Present for Irresistable Roommate Alex
Title: Lust Letters (original, I know)
Genre: Romance, Love, etc.
Characters/Pairings: Molly/Arthur, Snape/Lucius, Dumbledore/Trelawney, Ron/Fangirl!Alex
Rating: PG-13? R? There's some mention of BDSM and sexual innuendo...
Length: ~400 words
Disclaimer: Like puppets, I like to make them dance. However, they are NOT MINE so I must eventually return them. Frown.
Warnings: Sex. Implied Sex. BDSM. Slash. Old people!Sex. Yeah, that kind of stuff.
Author's Notes: Written on request of poor_cinderalex as a late Crimmis/Valentine's Day present. Suggestions taken from friendoftheda and uadlika. This isn't all I was going to write, there might be more, eventually...I'm just lazy. Deal with it.
My Dearest Arthur,
Perhaps while the rest of the Order is out of the house we can…tackle the upstairs library, if you catch my drift. You know what kind of mood cleaning gets me in.
Your ever-loving and ever-ready wife,
Molly
My Loving Molly-Wobbles,
Your offer is like eckletricity through my body. I’ll be up a few minutes!
Your particularly randy husband,
Arthur
~~~~~~~
Luscious
The meeting time this night has been changed to an hour earlier. And by meeting, I mean the payment I promised you in return for securing certain questionably legal substances for my cupboards.
Till tonight,
Snape the Potions Master
My most grateful Severus,
Don’t forget the riding crop and those delightful Muggle handcuffs the authorities seem to favor.
Looking forward to it,
IT’S LUCIUS!
~~~~~~~
Dearest Professor Dumbledore,
I have foreseen a terrible catastrophe in your near future! In order to avoid this most horrible future, you should cancel all plans you might have had tonight and come up to the North Tower and join me for drinks. Your life may take a dire turn for the worse should you ignore my visions!
Looking out for your well-being,
Sybill
My Dear Professor Trelawney,
I do believe the only catastrophe would be to get terribly shnozzed and not remember ourselves. So sorry to decline, my dear, but you are better off without me. Besides, I am an old man, and not quite up to my peak performance anymore.
Looking out for my heart and head’s health,
Professor Albus Dumbledore
~~~~~~~
Dear Fangirl,
Please stop stalking me. I don’t ruddy want to know about your dreams, even if they DO involve me snogging my best mate (something which we’ve NEVER done!). I will not send nudie pictures of myself or any of my mates to you. You are a sick, sick bird.
Stay away (I’m warning you!)
Ron Weasley
My Dearest Ronald,
Firstly, my name is “Alex,” not “Fangirl,” thank you very much! And secondly, I think we all know that you and Harry would make an excellent pair (in secret, of course; you still have to make cute red-headed bushy-haired children with Hermione). Have you seen some of the artistic license being taken! It’s absolutely mind-blowing (or…blowing something else wink wink nudge nudge)! Besides, I know one day you will come clean about your past with Harry. It’s okay to have those feelings, Ron, I promise! Girls like shirt-lifters, nowadays.
It’s not stalking, it’s LOVE,
Alex.
Title: Whipped Cream Goes With Everything
Genre: Squick
Pairing: Neville/Plant
Rating: Bad. Bad bad bad.
Length: 100 words
Disclaimer: As long as the stars may shine and the earth revolves, these won't ever be mine.
Author’s Note: I am so, so sorry. I wrote this for poor_cinderalex for Crimmis and I put it far, far away. Until now.
Neville was always fascinated with the life abounding in the small garden Gram kept in the backyard, and even more with that found greenhouses at Hogwarts; no wonder he loved Herbology.
His Mimbulus Mimbletonia held a special place in his heart. No one knew he called it Sheila, stroked and talked to her every night before the other boys came up for bed.
Ever since that night, working late Greenhouse Number Four, plants held a special place in his life. Especially that Venemous Tentacula he tamed. He came to the conclusion that everything liked whipped cream and a little caress…
Genre: Romance, Love, etc.
Characters/Pairings: Molly/Arthur, Snape/Lucius, Dumbledore/Trelawney, Ron/Fangirl!Alex
Rating: PG-13? R? There's some mention of BDSM and sexual innuendo...
Length: ~400 words
Disclaimer: Like puppets, I like to make them dance. However, they are NOT MINE so I must eventually return them. Frown.
Warnings: Sex. Implied Sex. BDSM. Slash. Old people!Sex. Yeah, that kind of stuff.
Author's Notes: Written on request of poor_cinderalex as a late Crimmis/Valentine's Day present. Suggestions taken from friendoftheda and uadlika. This isn't all I was going to write, there might be more, eventually...I'm just lazy. Deal with it.
My Dearest Arthur,
Perhaps while the rest of the Order is out of the house we can…tackle the upstairs library, if you catch my drift. You know what kind of mood cleaning gets me in.
Your ever-loving and ever-ready wife,
Molly
My Loving Molly-Wobbles,
Your offer is like eckletricity through my body. I’ll be up a few minutes!
Your particularly randy husband,
Arthur
~~~~~~~
Luscious
The meeting time this night has been changed to an hour earlier. And by meeting, I mean the payment I promised you in return for securing certain questionably legal substances for my cupboards.
Till tonight,
Snape the Potions Master
My most grateful Severus,
Don’t forget the riding crop and those delightful Muggle handcuffs the authorities seem to favor.
Looking forward to it,
IT’S LUCIUS!
~~~~~~~
Dearest Professor Dumbledore,
I have foreseen a terrible catastrophe in your near future! In order to avoid this most horrible future, you should cancel all plans you might have had tonight and come up to the North Tower and join me for drinks. Your life may take a dire turn for the worse should you ignore my visions!
Looking out for your well-being,
Sybill
My Dear Professor Trelawney,
I do believe the only catastrophe would be to get terribly shnozzed and not remember ourselves. So sorry to decline, my dear, but you are better off without me. Besides, I am an old man, and not quite up to my peak performance anymore.
Looking out for my heart and head’s health,
Professor Albus Dumbledore
~~~~~~~
Dear Fangirl,
Please stop stalking me. I don’t ruddy want to know about your dreams, even if they DO involve me snogging my best mate (something which we’ve NEVER done!). I will not send nudie pictures of myself or any of my mates to you. You are a sick, sick bird.
Stay away (I’m warning you!)
Ron Weasley
My Dearest Ronald,
Firstly, my name is “Alex,” not “Fangirl,” thank you very much! And secondly, I think we all know that you and Harry would make an excellent pair (in secret, of course; you still have to make cute red-headed bushy-haired children with Hermione). Have you seen some of the artistic license being taken! It’s absolutely mind-blowing (or…blowing something else wink wink nudge nudge)! Besides, I know one day you will come clean about your past with Harry. It’s okay to have those feelings, Ron, I promise! Girls like shirt-lifters, nowadays.
It’s not stalking, it’s LOVE,
Alex.
Title: Whipped Cream Goes With Everything
Genre: Squick
Pairing: Neville/Plant
Rating: Bad. Bad bad bad.
Length: 100 words
Disclaimer: As long as the stars may shine and the earth revolves, these won't ever be mine.
Author’s Note: I am so, so sorry. I wrote this for poor_cinderalex for Crimmis and I put it far, far away. Until now.
Neville was always fascinated with the life abounding in the small garden Gram kept in the backyard, and even more with that found greenhouses at Hogwarts; no wonder he loved Herbology.
His Mimbulus Mimbletonia held a special place in his heart. No one knew he called it Sheila, stroked and talked to her every night before the other boys came up for bed.
Ever since that night, working late Greenhouse Number Four, plants held a special place in his life. Especially that Venemous Tentacula he tamed. He came to the conclusion that everything liked whipped cream and a little caress…