in which we are not helping ourselves:
finally saw a doctor. got prescribed lexapro and baseline tests and more therapy. went to have coffee, bought a dress, smoked a pack. by the time i got home the prescription was gone.
stupid stupid stupid hassle i am sad and angry and exhausted and also totally resigned to the fact i am always going to be fumbling at this thing called life, and that no one around me gets it either, and that's no comfort, it's terrifying