My mission... and choosing to accept it.
Hello LJ.
At work we are having a Biggest Loser competition. It starts in two days. I decided to join because I am overweight - obese by the chart standards - and would like to change that. I never feel overweight until I look at a picture of myself next to skinny people, run out of breath after taking a couple of flights of stairs or try on new clothes and find out that I have to go one size up. So I guess I feel overweight a lot - but on a day to day basis, I just feel like me. I have never been skinny (nor do I think I would look all that good emaciated) but I am at the highest weight I have ever been at. This is not something I am proud of. But I guess at the same time, it is not something I regret. I like food, and eating, and the act of consuming food is a very social activity.
I am not addicted to many things. I do not smoke, drink, curse, lie, gamble - none of the big ones. I have, on occasion, been addicted to caffeine. But I have quite drinking it a few times. I do not feel any change in my body for quitting. You know how people say things like, 'Oh, yeah, when I quit ____insert addictive behavior here____, I _____lost 20 pounds, feel so much better, have more energy, can think more clearly, etc_____.' Nope. None of that. I just have fewer options of beverage. But if your problem is eating, you can't just stop. You still have to eat. So you have to actually make choices, change behavior/attitude, and confront your problem every day. You can live w/o alcohol, nicotine, etc, but you still have to eat. Which is a good thing. I don't want to stop eating, I just need to change my idea of what tastes good, what portions should be, how much I need, and how to say no to what I would l would like.
When I was poor (not that I am rolling in it now, but I am not living paycheck to paycheck) this was easier. I ate what was cheap, easy to make, and didn't have an overabundance. I also did not eat out. I made about 97% of what I consumed. It wasn't always the most nutritious food selection, but I don't remember it being horrible. I did not gain weight. But lately I can seem to do nothing but gain. In the past 6 years, I have gained 60 pounds. That is 10 lbs a year. That is ridiculous. Yet in that time, I have only gone up 2 dress sizes, so I guess I didn't notice it that much. When I hear people say that they have gained 2 pounds/feel fat/etc - I do not understand, because I probably gain/lose 2 pounds in a day naturally and think nothing of it. I would never notice a 2 lb difference on its own.
So, as I begin this 12 week 'competition', I will try and update on here how I am doing. We weigh in once a week. I do not know if I will post the actual number as I am upset about it as an amount, but I will post the changes.
Things to work on:
1. Maintaining 2000 calories or less each day
2. Not having dessert every day.
3. Eating smaller portions. <- and slower maybe as that is supposed to help *shrug*
4. Not eating while watching T.V.
5. Being more active <- Starting with 20 push-ups and sit-ups a day
6. Not eating a second meal just to be able to eat with a friend.
7. Eat healthier snacks.
8. Drink more water.
*last three are not necessarily related, but I am working on them too*
9. Be happier
10. Let things go - do not let the stress build up.
11. Open myself up to relationships.
Thanks for the support and for the encouragement - and if you are going through something yourself: I wish you the best of luck!
At work we are having a Biggest Loser competition. It starts in two days. I decided to join because I am overweight - obese by the chart standards - and would like to change that. I never feel overweight until I look at a picture of myself next to skinny people, run out of breath after taking a couple of flights of stairs or try on new clothes and find out that I have to go one size up. So I guess I feel overweight a lot - but on a day to day basis, I just feel like me. I have never been skinny (nor do I think I would look all that good emaciated) but I am at the highest weight I have ever been at. This is not something I am proud of. But I guess at the same time, it is not something I regret. I like food, and eating, and the act of consuming food is a very social activity.
I am not addicted to many things. I do not smoke, drink, curse, lie, gamble - none of the big ones. I have, on occasion, been addicted to caffeine. But I have quite drinking it a few times. I do not feel any change in my body for quitting. You know how people say things like, 'Oh, yeah, when I quit ____insert addictive behavior here____, I _____lost 20 pounds, feel so much better, have more energy, can think more clearly, etc_____.' Nope. None of that. I just have fewer options of beverage. But if your problem is eating, you can't just stop. You still have to eat. So you have to actually make choices, change behavior/attitude, and confront your problem every day. You can live w/o alcohol, nicotine, etc, but you still have to eat. Which is a good thing. I don't want to stop eating, I just need to change my idea of what tastes good, what portions should be, how much I need, and how to say no to what I would l would like.
When I was poor (not that I am rolling in it now, but I am not living paycheck to paycheck) this was easier. I ate what was cheap, easy to make, and didn't have an overabundance. I also did not eat out. I made about 97% of what I consumed. It wasn't always the most nutritious food selection, but I don't remember it being horrible. I did not gain weight. But lately I can seem to do nothing but gain. In the past 6 years, I have gained 60 pounds. That is 10 lbs a year. That is ridiculous. Yet in that time, I have only gone up 2 dress sizes, so I guess I didn't notice it that much. When I hear people say that they have gained 2 pounds/feel fat/etc - I do not understand, because I probably gain/lose 2 pounds in a day naturally and think nothing of it. I would never notice a 2 lb difference on its own.
So, as I begin this 12 week 'competition', I will try and update on here how I am doing. We weigh in once a week. I do not know if I will post the actual number as I am upset about it as an amount, but I will post the changes.
Things to work on:
1. Maintaining 2000 calories or less each day
2. Not having dessert every day.
3. Eating smaller portions. <- and slower maybe as that is supposed to help *shrug*
4. Not eating while watching T.V.
5. Being more active <- Starting with 20 push-ups and sit-ups a day
6. Not eating a second meal just to be able to eat with a friend.
7. Eat healthier snacks.
8. Drink more water.
*last three are not necessarily related, but I am working on them too*
9. Be happier
10. Let things go - do not let the stress build up.
11. Open myself up to relationships.
Thanks for the support and for the encouragement - and if you are going through something yourself: I wish you the best of luck!