gotta mix it up
so going home was so nice. i really needed to get out of berkeley eventhough i love it here. i just feel burnt out from schoolwork and i feel like it is getting so repetitive here. even though i dont let myself have a scheduled day persay, i just feel bored. i also have absolutely no motivation anymore. like i really dont care whether i succeed or not except i just want to be a crazy smart physicist who gets a nobel prize at the age of 21. i dont want to actually have to learn, i just want to know. its not even like i cant concentrate cause instead of reading my physics textbook, i will sit there and read the book sam gave me for christmas which is all about physics. i have issues. i think i just dont like being told to do work and will do whatever i want. it really doesnt make any sense.
but going home was great. especially after thursday night. getting woken up by your RA at 6 in the morning in your hallway and you dont remember how you got there is not a good thing. it does make for a good story though. it was nice being sober and being with my family. snowboarding was awesome too although i wish we didnt go to boreal b/c the runs there are seriously ridiculous. and my brother complained the entire time. it was really cool to spend the entire day with little Billy. Guess What? His band is playing at that Stinky Mulligans LOP bar next weekend. isnt that crazy. i would love to go. ive never heard them play. i wonder if they will be any good.
so, i cooked last night with maya and ashveena. we are going to need a lot of practice for next year. not that it wasnt good, it was interesting to say the least. speaking of next year, today i really started stressing about it. i dont know. i dont want to think about it. i dont want to care but i really do. no matter what, it will be fine im sure. and for the first time in a while i started thinking about money again. i am really happy that i am doing this all on my own but i really have no clue what i am doing.
ok, well off to studying, maybe. i need to get re-motivated but i have no desires in life anymore. just to be at the beach all the time. maybe i will get motivated after spring break. this could be that second semester winter slump that all the teachers in high school talked about. ok, well peace, free tibet 2007, save ferris and never ever ever forget the hubble.
but going home was great. especially after thursday night. getting woken up by your RA at 6 in the morning in your hallway and you dont remember how you got there is not a good thing. it does make for a good story though. it was nice being sober and being with my family. snowboarding was awesome too although i wish we didnt go to boreal b/c the runs there are seriously ridiculous. and my brother complained the entire time. it was really cool to spend the entire day with little Billy. Guess What? His band is playing at that Stinky Mulligans LOP bar next weekend. isnt that crazy. i would love to go. ive never heard them play. i wonder if they will be any good.
so, i cooked last night with maya and ashveena. we are going to need a lot of practice for next year. not that it wasnt good, it was interesting to say the least. speaking of next year, today i really started stressing about it. i dont know. i dont want to think about it. i dont want to care but i really do. no matter what, it will be fine im sure. and for the first time in a while i started thinking about money again. i am really happy that i am doing this all on my own but i really have no clue what i am doing.
ok, well off to studying, maybe. i need to get re-motivated but i have no desires in life anymore. just to be at the beach all the time. maybe i will get motivated after spring break. this could be that second semester winter slump that all the teachers in high school talked about. ok, well peace, free tibet 2007, save ferris and never ever ever forget the hubble.