(no subject)
am i the only girl in the world that gets extremely jealous sometimes? i cant stand that i don't have that emotional under complete control. its not that i want to be jealous its that sometimes he gives me too many reasons to be no matter how much i try to fight it. it sucks it really does.
i told steve that i was cool with bringing another girl into our relationship.. not like steady but for a threesome or something. i really am okay with it. when im in control im ok with it. but when i say "i was thinking about going to the school down the street" and the first thing he says is "theres a lotta girls there" .. not oh really or cool or any other question.. i get a comment like that.. and for some reason that one bothered me.. like so what if a lot of girls are there.. IM here and IM talking about going there. im not talking about other girls. fuck.
sometimes i hate the fact that im rarely attracted to guys and always see a pretty girl. i check girls out more than guys and honestly its like.. yeah i check out girls a lot.. but i never check guys out and i never ever check them out in front of steve... in fact i never even notice them. and i think that steve is lucky that im like that. but i feel like im jipping myself. like im naturally good and i always ask why can't they be..
i guess what im trying to say is i feel like its not fair.. and that im a really great girlfriend and i just want to be treated the same way i treat him.
im trying to be so happy. so incredibly hard. it sucks.
i told steve that i was cool with bringing another girl into our relationship.. not like steady but for a threesome or something. i really am okay with it. when im in control im ok with it. but when i say "i was thinking about going to the school down the street" and the first thing he says is "theres a lotta girls there" .. not oh really or cool or any other question.. i get a comment like that.. and for some reason that one bothered me.. like so what if a lot of girls are there.. IM here and IM talking about going there. im not talking about other girls. fuck.
sometimes i hate the fact that im rarely attracted to guys and always see a pretty girl. i check girls out more than guys and honestly its like.. yeah i check out girls a lot.. but i never check guys out and i never ever check them out in front of steve... in fact i never even notice them. and i think that steve is lucky that im like that. but i feel like im jipping myself. like im naturally good and i always ask why can't they be..
i guess what im trying to say is i feel like its not fair.. and that im a really great girlfriend and i just want to be treated the same way i treat him.
im trying to be so happy. so incredibly hard. it sucks.