Stuff
It's nice not being depressed all the time. Some of it has been replaced with anger, but that's working pretty well for me right now.
So, finally an unlocked post from yours truly. Most of you won't have much of an idea what's been going on for the last few months. That said, most of the people who have been reading this thing were probably in those filter groups anyway. That's beside the point.
The last few months were probably the worst of my life. I lost a lot of things that were very important to me. My mind included. On the upside it forced me to regroup and figure out who I was again. That has been nice. So yeah, I am no longer depressed. Or... no. That's not quite true. I am, but I can deal with it. A bit like an addiction, it no longer controls my life and I know the behaviors I have to avoid to . I no longer want to kill myself. Certain other people, sure, but not myself ;)
My new flat still looks like a warehouse as I've not managed to get more storage solutions and I am broke as a very broke thing for the next few weeks. I suppose I'll get to arranging the place soon.
I've lost a few friends recently. Some have left the state (ok, not "lost", maybe "misplaced"), some have drifted away. Others have just shown their true colours, which was pretty predictable and really doesn't count as a loss. It has made me realise just how solitary I have been for a long, long time. I'm learning to socialise again, making a few fuck-ups on that front, but I think I'm getting there. I'll be nice to be me again. Not "X's Boyfriend" or "Y's Mate". Just me.
So, finally an unlocked post from yours truly. Most of you won't have much of an idea what's been going on for the last few months. That said, most of the people who have been reading this thing were probably in those filter groups anyway. That's beside the point.
The last few months were probably the worst of my life. I lost a lot of things that were very important to me. My mind included. On the upside it forced me to regroup and figure out who I was again. That has been nice. So yeah, I am no longer depressed. Or... no. That's not quite true. I am, but I can deal with it. A bit like an addiction, it no longer controls my life and I know the behaviors I have to avoid to . I no longer want to kill myself. Certain other people, sure, but not myself ;)
My new flat still looks like a warehouse as I've not managed to get more storage solutions and I am broke as a very broke thing for the next few weeks. I suppose I'll get to arranging the place soon.
I've lost a few friends recently. Some have left the state (ok, not "lost", maybe "misplaced"), some have drifted away. Others have just shown their true colours, which was pretty predictable and really doesn't count as a loss. It has made me realise just how solitary I have been for a long, long time. I'm learning to socialise again, making a few fuck-ups on that front, but I think I'm getting there. I'll be nice to be me again. Not "X's Boyfriend" or "Y's Mate". Just me.