sharing, mostly for someone I'd hug :)
I used to work with a woman named Lea who would bake us cookies, foster dogs and run marathons, despite having just lost her mother (basically, her whole family) to cancer and battling a fatal brain tumor. She used to have to hold onto the cubicle walls sometimes during chemo and radiation to help her get around at work, yet still would come in with smiles and hugs. Lea gave the best hugs; she would never, ever let go first.
Once, in the midst of an eating disordered/bipolar/life low, she gave me a hug and I just burst into tears. Standing there, safe in her tight embrace, the planets aligned and suddenly I had a greater perspective. Completely unprovoked-all she had said was that I looked like I could use a hug, and I agreed-I began to bawl. She just held me tighter and told me "Let it out baby, it'll be okay." There I was, bawling in the arms of a dying woman and all I could feel was stupid. I felt stupid that I thought my life was so bad, stupid to cry to someone much stronger than me who had overcome so much more, so silly for bawling in the middle of the call center and rubbing snot in her shoulder
But you know something? That hug will stay with me for the rest of my life. We all too often forget the human need for intimacy--not sex, not even sexual, just a body in close proximity to our own as a great comfort that you are real and you are not alone.
Next time you hug someone--next time you really go in for a real one, not just a greeting, a courtesy--don't let go first.
Once, in the midst of an eating disordered/bipolar/life low, she gave me a hug and I just burst into tears. Standing there, safe in her tight embrace, the planets aligned and suddenly I had a greater perspective. Completely unprovoked-all she had said was that I looked like I could use a hug, and I agreed-I began to bawl. She just held me tighter and told me "Let it out baby, it'll be okay." There I was, bawling in the arms of a dying woman and all I could feel was stupid. I felt stupid that I thought my life was so bad, stupid to cry to someone much stronger than me who had overcome so much more, so silly for bawling in the middle of the call center and rubbing snot in her shoulder
But you know something? That hug will stay with me for the rest of my life. We all too often forget the human need for intimacy--not sex, not even sexual, just a body in close proximity to our own as a great comfort that you are real and you are not alone.
Next time you hug someone--next time you really go in for a real one, not just a greeting, a courtesy--don't let go first.