ignore the smoke.
okay, so here is my monthly post! lets see. work, yet again, in a few hours. la dee laa daaa working at a movie theatre is the pitts. working nights and weekends, missing my babe all the time. ahhh well saaaayyyllllaaveee.
lets rave a little. i havent been this happy for quite a long while. like, honest happy. not any of the "well, it could be worse" or "well, this is nice while this isnt so great" sorta shit. like, legit happy. smiling all the time, no fear, no worries, laughs and giggles and heartfelt i love yous non stop. and its not because she buys me diamond rings, or because she gets my lips tattooed on her neck, but because when i talk she listens. she knows the faces i make when i stress. she knows i love to read and doesnt mind spending an hour in the bookstore as i casually read the backcover of everything i see, and thinks its funny that i'll pick the same book up three times before setting my heart on it. she doesnt mind doing puzzles on a saturday night instead of going out drinking. she'll hold my hair when we go out drinking. she doesnt mind my crazy curly hair when i wake up, or my smudged eyeliner on my cheeks. because when she looks at me i feel right, i feel fine, i feel good. i feel loved. and i love that. because she is a she and not a he.
i had to loose a lot for this. and, i was nervous at first, but now i have no regrets. what i lost scales nothing compared to her. and i know there are a bunch of people on the outside that are just waiting for this to end. for me to "wake up" and realize i want a guy again. for me to get out of this phase. but, then again, there is a reason they are on the outside, isn't it?
la la la laaaaaaaaa dont you hate happy posts? they aren't nearly half as interesting as sad ones. but, this is what my life has been as of late. happy posts. nothing but happy posts.
and she doesnt mind when i look drunk.
or when i scrunch up my face.
p.s. melissa is equally as awesome.