ksafgklsfhjnsklaf.
i hate guys. seriously i do. no joking. i hate em.
they confuse me to hell. and i hate it. i don`t like being confused. not about this.
i like this boy. a lot. i feel 100% safe around him; in his arms. i`m totally fine with myself and how i look when i am with him. i`ve never had that feeling before.
and he seems to feel mutual. when we kissed.. he said afterwards 'i`ve been waiting for that' haha. i was like 'what were you waiting?' 'for the kiss. me and you to kiss.'
he also told me asked me 'how can he be so comfortable around me?' i said 'i don't know' he said the same and that it scares him.
after our hot makeout session(hehehe); he said 'i`ve haven`t felt this connected to someone in a long time.' i was oh my god in my head. this boy is everything and more.
and when i mentioned phoenix, and how my parents are letting me stay. they are buying a townhome cause my mom wont leave in phoenix year round. but i will need someone to help share the cost of rent while she`s not there.... he volutneereddd to be that person...to be my roommate. =]]]
i slept over at his house last wednesday night and friday night. and i was so fucking content with him holding me. we were gonna hang out on saturday night too...but i got a text saying he cant cause he has to take his grams to work at 6am. and i wanna fucking believe that!! but i can`t.... not just yet.
we couldnt hang out sunday either... or mondayy... he told me last night we can chill on friday. i hope so. if not... than my heart will start breaking. skdshvslhg.
he doesn`t play games. doesn`t bull shit. but i`m scared. and i think i honestly have never been more vunerable than i am now. with him. and we aren`t even a thing yet.
i wanna trust him. seriously i do. but it`s hard. really hard when every other guy abused that trust. and now that trust is like a single thread that is barely hanging on.
he`s the first guy in a long time; prolly ever; that i liked enough not to fool/play around with other guys. and we aren`t even dating! i like him that fucking much; dude. i`m scaredd.
i`m scared that he`s like all the rest. that he will just lead me on and break my heart even more than the others did.
i miss him. i want his arms around me. him tickling me to death till i say 'i give up'
i want to kisss this boy so bad right now.
akjddsbckndsijaolfa.
grrrrrrr. i`m going to bed. or going to try too.
they confuse me to hell. and i hate it. i don`t like being confused. not about this.
i like this boy. a lot. i feel 100% safe around him; in his arms. i`m totally fine with myself and how i look when i am with him. i`ve never had that feeling before.
and he seems to feel mutual. when we kissed.. he said afterwards 'i`ve been waiting for that' haha. i was like 'what were you waiting?' 'for the kiss. me and you to kiss.'
he also told me asked me 'how can he be so comfortable around me?' i said 'i don't know' he said the same and that it scares him.
after our hot makeout session(hehehe); he said 'i`ve haven`t felt this connected to someone in a long time.' i was oh my god in my head. this boy is everything and more.
and when i mentioned phoenix, and how my parents are letting me stay. they are buying a townhome cause my mom wont leave in phoenix year round. but i will need someone to help share the cost of rent while she`s not there.... he volutneereddd to be that person...to be my roommate. =]]]
i slept over at his house last wednesday night and friday night. and i was so fucking content with him holding me. we were gonna hang out on saturday night too...but i got a text saying he cant cause he has to take his grams to work at 6am. and i wanna fucking believe that!! but i can`t.... not just yet.
we couldnt hang out sunday either... or mondayy... he told me last night we can chill on friday. i hope so. if not... than my heart will start breaking. skdshvslhg.
he doesn`t play games. doesn`t bull shit. but i`m scared. and i think i honestly have never been more vunerable than i am now. with him. and we aren`t even a thing yet.
i wanna trust him. seriously i do. but it`s hard. really hard when every other guy abused that trust. and now that trust is like a single thread that is barely hanging on.
he`s the first guy in a long time; prolly ever; that i liked enough not to fool/play around with other guys. and we aren`t even dating! i like him that fucking much; dude. i`m scaredd.
i`m scared that he`s like all the rest. that he will just lead me on and break my heart even more than the others did.
i miss him. i want his arms around me. him tickling me to death till i say 'i give up'
i want to kisss this boy so bad right now.
akjddsbckndsijaolfa.
grrrrrrr. i`m going to bed. or going to try too.