Bury yourself in memories of me
you're the reason I'm a bitch. you left me standing here alone. i have no one to tell me when things are going to get better, no one to help me when i fall down and no one to see me cross the finish line.
i'm sick of people telling me that I am making a big mistake with joinging the navy. its breaks my already broken heart more when no one will stand beside me. deciding to go into the navy was the smartest choice i've made in a long line of stupid choices. there is no other way for me. i have no money, and when i do i spend it on junk. i am in a major rush to get away from my asshole father and my bitchy sister who wants to kick my ass every time she sees me. i cant live with my mom cause she cant afford me. she can barely afford herself. i have no where to go. joining the navy gives me a job, and I'm praying they fucking disciple the shit of me. I'm a bitch. maybe they will yell at me enough to straighten me up some. praying someone can get threw to me and help me do something great with my less than average life. they will send me to college. god knows i am a fucking moron and i need more school. and i get to see the world. cause we all know everyone in america is fucking sick of me. i'm dying to get as far away from here as I possibly fucking can. cause everything about this town breaks my hearts. cause everywhere i go i am constintly reminded of the someone who took my heart and stomped on it. and i was reminded tonight of how much i cant handle myself whenever i put myself in a place where i am likely to see him. i talk a big game. but put me on the mound i break down and cry. its makes me all hyper fucking sensitive and moody and i cry every time i have to tell someone whats fucking wrong with me. WELL YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT WRONG WITH ME? then examine my fucking brain, cause i sure as hell dont know. i seriously think i am like bi polar. one second i can be cool and whatever and the next i am either crying or want to murder someone.
and tonight was a prime exapmle. cause just a few minutes after i got home, i'm already crying cause i said something mean to someone i didnt mean to say something mean too. if i could tell him i was sorry i would. but how would that look. like i am a psycho! which by the way, I am. and ever since my world has been upside down and inside out. and I try to pretend that its going to change, that I'll find someone new and forget about you. been there, done that, it didnt work,i still want you. and i try so hard to hide that I dont want you I end up being mean to you. which was never my intention. but i dont want to be the one anymore thats always making the mistake of telling you how i feel. cause 5 minutes later i be acting like it was all a joke after you tell me that you dont feel the same.
bury me now. please.
hey bitch,
you never made breaking hearts look so good.
but i would like my heart back when you get
a chance cause you covered it in kerosene,
fed it to the ants, lit the ants of fire,
swept them up and threw them down a gutter,
and now i cant find it.
so please. i'm depressed without it.
My heart is consumed I'm so confused
Still caught up in you...love can be so cruel
Babe I don't know how to turn you loose