somethings i feel rlly strongly about.. eventho its long try to read it

[gettangledupnme]

do u ever jus wish you could jus b in a coma 4 like a yr or month or something.. jus soo ppl would no finally give u some respect.. or like b diagnosed with something deadly.. jus soo u can actually get a sense of happiness jus once n no that ppl actually mean it n r truly sorry 4 wut they've done.. n have u ever jus sat n that that tm can b ur day or in an hr or min or even sec can b ur time to go.. u never no wen it comes.. n its kind of scary.. soo next time ur having a bad day or jus think that the world completely sux.. think is that rlly how u wanna end ur day.. n wen u make fun of some1 or hurt them.. is that rlly how u wanna b remembered as??... i guarentee u thats ud feel guilty 4 the rest of ur life.. yah ino u prolly think im weird.. but sitting here crying over the past made me realize that there are soo many other things out there jus waiting 4 me to discover.. new ppl new friends new adventure jus a whole bunch of new.. n if u also think about it were 14 n in highskool.. this is wut EVERYONE remembers is their highskool days.. do u rlly wanna remember crying everyday or hurting cuz he doesnt like u or she took my bf or shes talking behind my bak.. ino i dont... sometimes jus sitting by myself makes me think soo much about y im here by myself.. y arent i out there enjoying the world n the smiles n the laughter.. n y is it soo necessary to have a bf.. like y do i need one.. wen i have a million ppl out there i could b spending time with.. im not gunna jus throw away my feelings but i no that im not gunna keep crying over them its not gunna get me newhere... soo ive finally decided that i need to b the stronger one and finally jus put on the real smile n share myself with those ppl who do feel like they wanna b in a coma or b hit by a car... cuz after it does happen (if it does) the thought going through ur head is i wish i didnt wish this or if only i did this.. dont make ur life and if or wut if i did this.. go out there n experience life.. make everyday a memory.. today is the last october 4 2004 there will EVER b again.. do u wnt this day thatll never ever come again to b an all around sad day.. noo ino i dont n i no u dont.. soo get out there n meet new ppl.. n dont ever wonder n wish jus do.. n eventho not everything will go ur way its still worth a try.. n u gotta jus pick up again n move on.. Wise Words from a VERY wise person: My OLD thoughts: oo well u cant have everything u wnt soo its not worth trying WISE WORDS: ur soo wrong u can have anything u wnt.. if ur heart wnts it.. u jus go out there and get it dont let ne1 stop u

...yah recognize those words Rachel.. thanx a lot babe iono wut id do w.o u in my life.. teaching me more n more everday i love ya!