二十 四 ; èr shí sì
"Once upon a time," said Zhuangzi, "I dreamed that I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was Zhuangzi
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There once was a fish - a great predatory creature, a veritable whale - who dreamed that he was a man. The dream was very vivid, and he could not seem to let it go. What if he truly was a man, a fisherman and not a whale? What if he was in fact dreaming that he lived in a bowl with the other creatures of the sea? He tried and tried to wake up, but to no avail.
Finally, as he drifted down, exhausted, he came upon a girl-crab with a shell of many colors.
"Sweet fish," she said, "you are right. You are in fact a fisherman, trapped in a dream. But you cannot wake up because you are not the one dreaming. My brother dreams that he is a clam under a rock, but in truth, he is a boy holding a bowl. If you wish to go back to being a fisherman, then you must startle him very badly. He leap out of his shell and drop the bowl and you will be free."
But a small pale fish who swam next to the whale said to him, "you mustn't do this. Who is to say that when the bowl falls, we will not all spill out and die?"
The whale thought of that, and at last he said: "then I will do something else. My teeth are sharp. I will bite this clam-boy very badly so that he faints, and I will bite his crab sister too. Then when they are no longer dreaming this dream, perhaps we will not be trapped, and could wake ourselves if we wish."
The whale thought that this was a grand idea, and immediately swam away to plan how he will bite the clam under the rock and the colorful crab. He cautioned the pale fish: "the crab has many friends. Once we swam in the same colorful school, but now they must not know what I wish to do. You must tell no one of this."
But the small pale fish thought, "there is still danger in this. I should tell of it to the green frog. He has been in the bowl for a long time and is wise in its ways." And so the little pale fish swam away, to ask for the frog's counsel.
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[Part of the delay in approaching Huo was embarrassment. He was bad with metaphors and everyone knew it, but he still wanted to try. The other part was that if someone had been reading the journals, they might have picked up on the hidden message of discussion between him and Huo, and he wanted to keep this as safe as possible. Especially as the whale had told Huo not to tell.]
[So it's a few days later that Gai knocks on Huo's door, wondering if he could propose a walk down to the yard to speak of biting fish.]
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Gai-jun. I have been expecting you. [The delay hadn't concerned him terribly, but had not added to his peace of mind either. Things were in motion now, no day wasted.
(And he had written the information in that Gai-resistant code of metaphor. There was that.)]
Come in. I shall brew us some tea.
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Tea would be lovely. I thank you. [He stepped in, removing his shoes at the door and following Huo. His voice was a bit rueful when he spoke again.] I have a feeling you have expected me ever since your last visit to my place. I am good at some things, but others I am not. At least I am good at drinking tea!
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But perhaps hopeful. Perhaps.]
I apologize for communicating in such an obscure manner, [he said as he stirred the coals in the hearth to life.] One cannot be too careful, and even more eyes than usual are alert to this particular topic. Our whale is no fool, and the school of colorful fish knows much and more.
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I understand. We do not have the luxury of being colorful fish, slipping away when... when... [Metaphor. Gai was going to have a headache later, he knew it.] the waves become... big? Choppy! When they become choppy! [He felt a little too triumphant over that, he knew.]
But perhaps if... if a frog and one fish were to not... ripple? Much? When they swim, they will be beneath a whale's notice.
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Frogs are very nimble, it seems, [he said.] And that is good, when they must avoid both a certain crab and a certain clam. How difficult it is to be surrounded by creatures of the sea. [He sipped his tea, slowly, thoughtful.] I hope that you have found my book enlightening, in regard to the nature of dreams and waking.
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They have to be. Otherwise people eat their legs. [It was said quietly, an aside. Taking a drink, Gai shook his head.] I... tried. And I got very confused. Some of it I was able to grasp. But much was... deeper than I could swim. The... sea life... was something that I... [There were so many pauses and trailings off. Gai wished this sounded more natural.] That I was familiar with. But the... behavior patterns were not.
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I shall assume, [he replied after a moment's thought,] that it is the biting that troubles you most. It is strange for a whale to bite clams or crabs. [That was the most important aspect of the plan, after all, the most unexpected detail in Orca's intentions.] But it seems that the crab and clam of our tale are hardy creatures. If devoured whole, all that happens is that new ones appear. The wise fisherman must think of a different way to be rid of them.
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If a fisherman was determined. So is the whale looking to ...become a fisherman and catch some fish?
[The strangest thought occurred to Gai then. He didn't think Huo would have skipped over it at this point if it was important, but.]
A time ago a fish went to visit a squid. He told the frog that he learned nothing, but the frog wonders if... if perhaps the currents have shifted. And that what once... the tide did not bring in, it does now?
[Great. He'd just mixed everything, because now he was calling Huo fish and tide both.]
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So he is. I have read a most interesting book on the subject. [He rose to pick through one of the bookshelves, extracting one volume on wildlife - and the book on on the brain that had given him the idea for the surgery to begin with.]
Here, come and see. [He glanced back, briefly frowning, but understanding the thought behind Gai's words. They were not illogical, or unfair.]
Alas, squids are none too talkative. But whales are. Did you know that they are not fish at all, but mammals, like you and I? [Both a spice to the conversation - it had to sound at least a little casual to passing ear - and another hint. Orca was like them, at least in this.]
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Whales... [What was that supposed to mean?] They are... I... No. I did not. I have not studied whales much. That means they have hair? And do not have eggs. So it is interesting that they are like us like that. Ah. Are they... like us in other ways?
[This conversation had him so lost. Gai hoped he figured out what was being said soon, otherwise he might be of no help whatsoever.]
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[He showed Gai one book, then another.] Here - this as for whales. And this second one may prove useful to someone of varied interests like yourself. It is on the subject of brains and their function. [He leafed through the latter book, eventually handing it to the other man open on a creased page that he had read a hundred times. One paragraph’s title was bold and underscored: Transorbital lobotomy.]
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I... think I would prefer the fish.
[Gai took the whale book, leaning in to see where Huo opened the page and accepting it as he read. After a bit of reading Gai shuddered, but he understood, or thought he might.]
This seems to be something that a clam might already be fond of.
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Instead, he focused on the book. Gai's dismayed response was expected. There was no way to present the procedure anything but ghastly.] No one is fond of such things. Even one such as myself who is not unhappy to lose all memory wishes to retain all his other faculties. Done properly, this procedure cuts away all mental ability - [he hesitated only for a moment before completing -] as surely as one cuts a stalk from its roots.
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[Gai swallowed as Huo spoke.] Incapacitated. [Fugue would be alive and yet unable to do anything to the Sphere. It was cruel and disturbing and yet... possibly practical.] That would be... quite a bite. [Sometimes you had to be practical. The ninja part of Gai could understand doing that to Fugue, but not to Mother. It wasn't right to do it to her too.] But I am not sure why the clam will be bothered too.
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