The diaper stains have driven him mad!!!
ok so i'm in Ross, my cheapo depot hot spot, and i am browsing about the aisles when an old guy walks in with who i assume was his wife. i looked up and he winked at me. i smiled like a polite little lass b/c i was raised rite and figured the guy was just in a nice mood. Later on, i was walkin down another aisle and i see the old guy again and this time he has ditched his wife and winks again...by this time it's just uncomfortable and i tried not to make direct eye contact...a tactic i use often lol (jeremy) neways...so as i'm NOT lookin at him, he waddles on over like an old depends-wearing mofo and starts the "pickin up the honeys" talk. "how u doin? ur pretty...i'd like to take u home" and such...and i just laughed uncomfortabley and tried to walk faster into a place where more ppl were congregating for fear of being raped!!! then i ran into my sis (thank GOD!!) and he's still walkin rite beside me and spittin "game" and he looks at my sis after hes sees the expressions on our faces and tells her that he found a beautiful girl and then he asked her permission to take me home!!! at this point i'm thinkin 1st of all she aint my damn momma! secondly, you couldnt take me home even if she said so u damn pervert! and 3rd of all, bitch u betta move!!! so then i pretended to be really interested in a nearby wine glass until he left. free at last...or so i thot. So i went about my business a bit shaken and hoobastank comes on so u know me...i got to dancing in an aisle filled with like candles or sumthin and...i'm bustin a serious move here u dont even know. I look up and there is Old-y-pants again staring at me (like the pedophile that he is)! so i said "wow....thats pretty embarassing" more to myself than to him really...and he walks slowly over (old guy slowly...not normal slowly...u know slowly like, i just went on myself but i'm so used to it i'll wait til the diapers full to change it, slowly?)and he asked me what my name is..ick. so i'm petrified and i say "uhhhh...umm..jaz" I couldnt think of lie!!!! but never fear...i said it reeeally low. i swear i was freaked out beyond reason and i'm sure i was shivering lol. U wont believe what he did next!!! he handed me his card!!!!! and he put his nasty wrinkly hand on my back and told me to call him sometime!!! *barfs* i swear this man was like..80! and then he asked me what my name was again (hopefully cuz he didnt hear it the first time) but instead of answering i pretended to be reading the card...and struggling. lol leave it to me to pretend to be a troubled reader in dangerous situations. but u know that fool helped me pronounce his name like a ick-ster and then told me to call him again. i swear i can read the name patrick...i was tryin to pretend to be on hooked on phonics to distract him!!! but he didnt get it. u can tell he was one of those grandpas who molests his grand kids...ick. i shall never recover