(Untitled)

[getemtiger]

With so little to do most of the time, sitting around the hut waiting for Peter to get back from work was nothing too out of the ordinary, and nothing she particularly minded, either. Normally, though, that involved him coming home around sunset, and sunset had long since passed, leaving Mary Jane to do nothing but sit around, continuing to wait

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[daretodo]

It's a been a long day. An old newspaper tipped me off to the date when I was doing an extra bit of research before heading home for the night, which meant taking a prolonged detour on the beach to mull it all over. One year I've been stuck on this piece of rock, and while there've definitely been highlights, the fact that I have to wheel myself through the door is enough of a downside to put the experience as a whole in a negative light, and make me long for the days when forty-eight hours spent unconscious would be enough to get me back on my feet, if still a little sore

[getemtiger]

Instinct more than anything else prompted Mary Jane to ease closer once Peter was beside her, eyelids slowly fluttering open after his lips met her forehead. Getting any kind of deep sleep, she suspected, would have been an impossibility when she had drifted off so unintentionally, wanting only to make sure he got back, and still half-asleep or not, she was aware almost immediately of how relieved she was to have him there. Whatever else was going on, at least this wasn't such a big deal that it prevented him from returning to her.

"Pete," she murmured, her voice a little hoarse from having been asleep, lilting up into a question almost like she wasn't sure if it was actually him. She didn't wait for a response, though, before the corners of her mouth pulled up into a smile, small and tired but mostly just affectionate. It didn't matter that he'd been gone now that he was here with her again. In retrospect, she wasn't even sure why she'd worried so much. "You're home."

[daretodo]

"Shh, go back to sleep," I say, not having meant to wake her. Adorable's not a word that sees much use in my vocabulary, but there's no other way to describe the way she looks right now, warm and sweet and making me feel like a real heel for having kept her up in the first place. "I'm right here."

[getemtiger]

"No, no, no," Mary Jane was quick to protest, shaking her head, still visibly a little out of it, but growing more aware by the second. She had spent too long waiting for him to be able to just roll over and go right back to sleep now. Propping herself up a little more, she rested one hand on his arm, as if the contact would be enough to keep him from insisting that she not stay awake. "It's fine. I didn't mean to fall asleep, anyway."

[daretodo]

"I'm sorry, I should've told you I was going to be..." I start, trailing off. As she props herself up, I settle back onto the bed, adjusting the pillow behind my head in the hopes that she'll follow my lead, regardless of what she just said about not meaning to fall asleep. "I'm just sorry, is all."

[getemtiger]

"Hey, don't be sorry," Mary Jane said gently, though this was one instance where she was a little grateful for the apology. Admitting that she had worried was nothing she intended to do, given that he was here with her now, but it didn't take away the fact that she had spent the better part of the night wondering where he'd gone and when he would be back. She nestled a little closer anyway, shifting so she could rest her head by his shoulder. "I just missed you."

[daretodo]

"Missed you, too," I admit with a crooked little smile, combing my fingers through the ends of her hair. I duck my head to press another kiss to her forehead. "I love you, you know. So much."

[getemtiger]

"Mmm, good, 'cause I love you, too," Mary Jane murmured, her eyes closing for just a second as he kissed her forehead. Loving her and missing her - especially the latter, having been so easily fixable on his part - didn't take away the fact that he'd been gone, but it was certainly nice to hear him say it with the way she'd spent most of the night.

Her hand resting lightly on his chest, she bit her lip, looking up at him with wider eyes. As much as she wished she could do so now, ignoring things had never done them any favors before, and she didn't have it in her to just pretend like this was normal, either. "Where'd you go?"

[daretodo]

"The beach," I say after a moment's hesitation, the significance of the location enough to make me wonder if I should even bother adding anything more. "We've been here a year, today, did you know that? It's almost strange to think about, how much things have changed, I--" Exhaling slowly through my nose, I press my lips together, and blink up at the darkened ceiling. In the absence of knowing what to say, I just repeat myself. It's the one thing in all of this that I know for sure, anyway. "I love you."

[getemtiger]

"Yeah, I did know," Mary Jane admitted quietly, lowering her own head again, cheek pressed against his shoulder. She could at least say that she hadn't realized it before he'd left for work, but resisted the impulse to unnecessarily defend herself. It was nothing she'd kept from him, even if her intention had been to do exactly that, to avoid a situation like tonight and this. That he'd been out to the beach said enough about his frame of mind, proving, really, that she would have had the right idea in not mentioning it, and preventing her from just letting it go. Any last remnants of a smile fading, she shrugged, the motion slight, but noticeable. "You know, a year ago, I never would've thought we'd be here like this."

[daretodo]

"Me neither."

A year ago, I could barely have a five minute conversation with her without wanting to bolt, but thinking about my first wife while I'm in bed with my soon-to-be-second is a dangerous path to follow. Shaking my head slightly, I close my eyes, mouth set in a grimace, like I've just eaten something rotten. There's a time and place for missing home, but here and now isn't it. I love Mary Jane too much to put her through that hell again.

[getemtiger]

"You miss it." By the tone of her voice, faint but sure, it was a statement of fact, not a question at all. Mary Jane had long since resigned herself to knowing that he'd left behind a hell of a lot, especially in comparison to her, and that it was perfectly natural for him to do so. He loved her, of that she had no doubt, but that couldn't and never would negate all that he'd had before. She'd known going back into this that that would be the case, and difficult though it may have been to consider, she didn't mind it. It made sense. She just had to keep reminding herself of that.

Shifting a little, she pressed a light kiss to his collarbone, lips ghosting over skin, and lifted her hand to comb through his hair as she looked back up at him again. "Home. It's okay, you know. I get it."

[daretodo]

"You don't. Miss it, I mean."

It's like I'm letting her down somehow, as ridiculous a thought that is to have. I had a life before I met her -- that much, at least, I shouldn't feel guilty about. Heaving out another sigh, I open my eyes to glance down at her. "Can we... not talk about this?"

[getemtiger]

Audibly drawing in a deep breath, Mary Jane hesitated, unable to help herself. Most if not all of the problems they'd had stemmed from not talking about things, and this one, in particular, had caused them a hell of a lot of trouble. After two and a half weeks spent backpedaling, it had seemed like they were finally back on the right track, but he asked her something like that, and suddenly she wasn't so sure.

"Fine," she said finally, hating herself for it the instant the word left her mouth, and rolled onto her back, hand dropping back to her side. Half-convinced she was about to be sick, she turned her head over her opposite shoulder, frown deepening. "Then don't talk about it."

[daretodo]

She moves, and though I don't reach out for her right away, I roll onto my side in turn. Hovering over her, my eyes fixed on the opposite wall, not trusting my voice to stay steady should I look at her instead.

"This is our space. Our bed. I can't... I can't miss her when I'm with you, Mary Jane. I can't talk about her in our bed, just like I can't talk about home in our home. Not today. So please, don't ask me to, because I need you right now, but not... Not like this. I can miss home on my own time, but when I'm with you, I need to be with you. This isn't like before -- I'm not trying to push you out or... or protect you from my life. I'm trying to help you help me, and obsessing some more about the date is just about the least helpful thing I can imagine."

Placing a hand at her waist, I try to catch her gaze, feeling more certain as the time passes. "You know I miss home, fine, but I came back tonight because I missed you more," I continue, and ducking my head, I ghost the line of her jaw with my mouth, stopping right as I reach

[getemtiger]

Slowly letting out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, Mary Jane let her eyes slip shut as Peter kissed along her jaw, head tilting a little farther to the side. With what he'd said before and the implication in it, staying upset would have been far too easy, but she was tired and she'd missed him and she wanted too much to believe what he was saying, to not have to think that they'd fallen back into old habits. For months now, they'd been doing well, and unsettled though she may have been, that had to count for something. It hurt, the way he'd reacted before, but she couldn't not give him the benefit of the doubt. Regardless of their problems before, that wouldn't have been fair