Here are the words I was looking for.
I can't believe all that I have
foreseen is finally happening.
I cannot for a single second stand the way I feel.
I always knew. I always saw it coming.
Enveloped now, encased by my worst fear.
I've never felt the nausea of longing to feel nothing,
I never wanted to cease to
exist, just disappear.
Never have I felt so dead.
Once felt so warm, now I'm fucking freezing.