RP Log: Tachibana and Chitose Leave for Their Cruise
Rated PG-13 for French tourists.
Random French Tourist: *boarded the wrong flight and has ended up in the airport outside of Tokyo where no one speaks his language* *is quite distressed because he is unable to read the big map of the airport to figure out how the hell to get to the ticket desk* *is pulling at his hair and yelling dramatically* Merde! Merde! MERDE, AIR JAPAN!!!!!!!!
Chitose: *walks past with his rolling tie-dye luggage and carry-on bag, looking mellow in his geta* Where's our terminal?
Tachibana: *is following, trying to pretend the tie-dye luggage doesn't exist* How am I supposed to know? You're the one with the tickets.
Chitose: Hmmm. They're in my pocket. *continues walking and doesn't stop to check the tickets because such concerns are beyond him in his enlightened hippy state*
Tachibana: *raises eyebrows* Possibly it'd be a good idea to look at them. Unless your magic eight-ball also provides directions.
Chitose: That's a good idea. *stops in the middle of the crowd and looks through his bag* *pulls out his Magic Eight Ball and holds it high in the air, glowing for a moment with the light of Great Wisdom* *looks at Eight Ball gravely* Is our terminal to the left? *shakes and then looks* Try again later. *looks at Kippei* I guess we have to wait.
Tachibana: ...We don't have time to wait, our flight boards in an hour. Actually - *checks watch* - forty-five minutes.
Chitose: I guess I better look at the tickets then. *puts away his baby and gets out the tickets* *reads* Oh. This way. *points in some vague direction and then sets off again through the crowd with his luggage*
Tachibana: *stands there for a moment, then sighs and pushes through the crowd after him* What do they say? You didn't even check the terminal numbers and I don't think your wisdom or whatever comes with a good sense of direction.
Chitose: Terminal 13. We still have to go through security and baggage check. *clacks off in his geta, trusting that the spiritual vibrations of the universe will want him to catch this flight so he can follow his intuition instead of bothering to look for signs*
Tachibana: *stops walking abruptly* Senri. Terminal 13 is THAT way. *points in the complete opposite direction* You're headed towards Terminal 28. We're on the wrong side of the airport.
Chitose: *interprets this as fate acting through Tachibana* Righteous. Lead onward, Kippei! *walks on in front of him without waiting for him to take the lead* *is possibly a little stoned but he had to deal with his sister earlier so that's more than justified*
Tachibana: *rolls eyes and grabs Senri's arm* Still the wrong way. *tugs him toward some random escalator* If we're late and miss our flight, I'm going to hit you.
Chitose: Violence is never the answer. *says this as if Kippei is the dumbass who doesn't know what the fuck he's doing* *allows himself to be guided toward the escalator*
Tachibana: With you, it's usually the only RIGHT answer. *hauls Senri off through the crowds*
Escalator Ride: *happens in a scenic sort of way, complete with baby strollers and old women in track suits*
Maxine and Howie: *realize that they've completely messed up how airport security and baggage check works* *hereby declare that this is a SPECIAL airport where everything happens per their whim, regardless of any logic or reason*
Tachibana: *locates their terminal and goes over to check-in, yanking Senri along with him* Here. Found it. Get the tickets out.
Chitose: Righteous. *pulls out the tickets* *hands them to Kippei because he's being so demanding* You can deal with them.
Tachibana: I don't-- Fine. *walks up to the desk* *has never been in an airport before* *waves the tickets hopefully at the receptionist*
Receptionist: *in the most nasal voice possible* Can I help you?
Chitose: *stands around looking mellow*
Tachibana: Yeah. We have plane tickets. To...get on a plane. Obviously. *waves the tickets some more*
Receptionist: *voice pitched to shatter glass* I'll need to see your passports and another form of photographic identification. *begins punching keys on her keyboard* *is playing Solitaire but no one needs to know that*
Tachibana: *sighs and starts digging around in his carry-on bag* Passport. Right. I have that somewhere.
Tachibana: *finds it at the bottom of the bag and hands it over, before pulling out his wallet to grab his school ID* *looks at Senri* You do have your passport, right?
Chitose: Hmm? Passport. Right. *finds it in his bag quickly because the universe is on his side* *tosses it at Kippei's head* There you go.
Tachibana: *snatches it out of the air* Why do I have to do everything? *grumbles* You're two feet away from the desk, you could have given it to her. *hands it to the receptionist anyway*
Chitose: You're closer. *grins*
Tachibana: *waves hand impatiently* Right, whatever. Give me your ID.
Chitose: *already has it out* *throws it at him too* *finds this very amusing*
Tachibana: *glares* *slaps the ID down onto the desk*
Receptionist: *examines efficiently and gets a new high score* Thank you. *hands them back* I'll take your baggage now.
Tachibana: *does the same*
Receptionist: *weighs both suitcases and then looks down her very impressive nose at Kippei* This is over the weight limit. You'll have to pay another 1,000 yen, unless you'd like to remove a few bricks.
Chitose: *snickers* Nice going, Kippei.
Tachibana: ...
Tachibana: How-- What?! I didn't pack that much!
Tachibana: I knew I shouldn't have brought those extra swimsuits.
Chitose: *witty* Did you stuff them with rocks to make your package look more impressive?
Tachibana: *flat look* Har har. Do I need to remind you again who had the higher count last year?
Chitose: You had the population advantage. The size advantage doesn't always make up for that. *smiling*
Receptionist: ... *switches to Minesweeper*
Tachibana: Your excuse is getting old. Try again.
Tachibana: *doesn't wait for him to answer* *turns to the receptionist* So can we go now or what?
Chitose: Your cock isn't getting any bigger. Try herbal supplements. *is ignored*
Receptionist: You still have to pay 1,000 yen, sir, or remove some of the rocks from your shorts.
Tachibana: ...Oh. Right. *eye twitches* Alright, fine. Here. *hands over the money...that he magically has because he never payed Shishido back HAHA >.>*
Receptionist: Thank you, sir. *takes money and does her baggage thing* You may proceed through security and then board your flight. Thank you for flying with Virgin Airlines.
Tachibana: ...Who picked the airline?
Chitose: It came with the cruise tickets. It was part of the prize. *is unconcerned with this* *walks off in some other vague direction that might lead to the security check or the women's bathrooms*
Tachibana: *the women's bathroom is more likely* Senri. WRONG WAY.
Chitose: *veers off toward Kippei and whatever direction he's walking in* I knew that.
Tachibana: Yeah, sure. *heads toward the security check thing* You don't have any liquids in your carry-on bag, right?
Tachibana: *...because America's new policies have obviously made an impression on Japan*
Chitose: No, liquid free. I heard they serve booze in first class.
Tachibana: Are we in first class?
Chitose: It's a honeymoon trip. We've got first class and one of the best suites on the ship. It's righteous.
Tachibana: ...Nice.
Tachibana: You actually did something right for once.
Chitose: Hey. I was right that time about... *pauses* I forgot what I was going to say.
Tachibana: That's because whatever you were going to say never actually happened.
Chitose: Shut up, Kippei. You're supposed to be the dumb blonde.
Chitose: *reaches the line for the security check-point*
Tachibana: I try not to meet up with other people's expectations. *pulls out his ticket and ID again to hand to the security dude*
Chitose: *does the same because he's not that stoned* You're a loser, Kippei. *smiling, but that might be more from the residual buzz than any fondness for the moron to his right*
Tachibana: And you're very witty, Senri.
Chitose: *takes this as a genuine compliment* Thanks. I am.
Security Guard: *is walking along with his big drug-sniffing dog on a leash*
Tachibana: *sees the dog out of the corner of his eye* *warily* Senri. Did you bring...anything with you?
Chitose: *hasn't noticed the dog or the guard* Kippei. I brought a lot of stuff. I packed for a five-day cruise. *thinks his friend might be a little screwy in the head*
Tachibana: ...
Tachibana: That's not what I meant.
Tachibana: *glances at the looong line in front of them and then back at the dog* *sighs and decides to pretend he doesn't know the crazy hippy standing next to him*
Tachibana: *is such a good friend*
Dog: *catches the scent of the hippy and his bag* *starts barking and lunges*
Security Guard: *is dragged forward by his dog with a WTF expression on his face*
Tachibana: *wishes the line would move faster*
Chitose: *is knocked over by the dog that's trying to go for his bag because his shoes aren't the best for balancing* *grabs onto Kippei and drags him down with him* HOLY FUCK
Tachibana: *crashes onto the floor on top of Senri* What the hell--?!
Security Guard: *pulls dog back* Gentlemen, I'm afraid that you're going to have to come with me.
Other Security Guards: *swoop down OUT OF NOWHERE and drag them off to an empty white room where they are left to wait*
Tachibana: *is totally cool and not panicking at all* *hisses to Senri* Look what you did!
Chitose: *is starting to process what's going on* Don't worry, Kippei. I've got it under control. *starts searching through his bag which they've left with him for some reason that we don't need to think about too much*
Tachibana: You'd better have it under control. We might miss the flight now!
Chitose: *is going to remain completely calm as long as he finds what he's looking for*
Chitose: *pulls out some big white cloth thing and a pair of goggles* Here we go!
Tachibana: ...*has no idea what Senri is doing and isn't sure he WANTS to know*
Tachibana: *stares at him blankly* What's that?
Chitose: It is the road to our salvation. *says this as if he isn't responsible for this at all*
Chitose: *puts on what proves to be a lab coat*
Tachibana: *continues staring blankly* Are you going to perform scientific experiments on the security guards?
Chitose: No. *smiles but doesn't explain further* *puts on goggles and looks like a frog man* -[O-O]-
Tachibana: *snorts*
Chitose: *pulls some papers out of his bag just as someone opens the door*
Police Officer: *double-takes at the boy in the goggles as he comes into the room* Hello, gentlemen. *has seen stranger things* It seems that we have a problem. Please, take a seat. *motions to the chairs behind the table and moves to take a seat himself*
Chitose: *sits down*
Tachibana: *is once again not panicking or anything of the sort* *takes the seat beside Senri*
Police Officer: Now, as you may be aware, the security guard who had you detained was in possession of a canine specially trained to identify by scent contraband substances.
Chitose: *interrupts* Before we go any further, I'd like to ask a question. -[O-O]-
Tachibana: *resists the urge to facepalm*
Police Officer: ... Go ahead.
Chitose: Were we being searched because I'm black? I'm worried that there may be racial profiling involved in this, and if so, I'd like to contact my lawyer. -[O-O]-
Tachibana: ...Senri. Don't make me strangle you.
Police Officer: *WTF* Sir, you don't appear to be black.
Chitose: *looking pointedly at the police officer* What are you implying? -[O-O]-
Tachibana: *...plays along* He's half-and-half. His mother was an African princess.
Police Officer: *looks at both boys and decides that he needs a new assignment after this* I assure you both, race is not an issue here. If we could get back to the topic at hand, I must ask you if either of you are carrying any illegal substances.
Tachibana: *quickly* I'm not.
Tachibana: *is once again an awesome friend*
Chitose: *straight-forward as if this is the perfectly logical thing to say* I'm carrying several bags of cannabis sativa. -[O-O]-
Tachibana: ...
Tachibana: I don't know him.
Police Officer: *didn't expect it to be that easy* *smiles because his day just got a little bit better* Well then. If you'll just show me the bags, then I can place both of you under arrest, and we'll take you down to the station for further questioning.
Tachibana: I just said I don't know him! I'm here under false accusations. I shouldn't be forced to sit through this.
Police Officer: I'm sorry, but you were found travelling together, so you must be taken in on charges of conspiracy to traffic an illegal substance.
Tachibana: I was just standing next to him!
Chitose: *ignores Kippei* That won't be necessary, officer. -[O-O]-
Police Officer: *trying not to be weirded out by the boy in the lab coat and goggles* ... And why is that?
Tachibana: ...Yes, do tell, Senri.
Tachibana: If that's your name, since I don't know you.
Chitose: *smiles at Kippei then turns back to the officer* Allow me to introduce myself. *reaches out and shakes the officer's hand* I'm Dr. Chitose Senri with Osaka University. I have my identication here. -[O-O]-
Chitose: *hands over an ID card*
Tachibana: ...Doctor?
Chitose: Yes, Doctor of Neuroscientific Research. *acting pompous* Surely I've told you about my work before. -[O-O]-
Tachibana: Vaguely...
Police Officer: *looks over ID which does indeed identify him as Dr. Chitose Senri of Osaka University* It's nice to meet you, Dr. Chitose, but I'm afraid that your degree is not relevant to this case.
Chitose: *looks through papers again and passes several to the officer* As you can see, I'm conducting research on the effects of addictive substances on the nervous system in different environments. I've filed the proper documents through the University to allow me to transport whatever substances I will need for my experiments. *looks completely serious* -[O-O]-
Tachibana: *is slightly impressed* Right. What he said. He has permission or whatever. *nods*
Police Officer: *is looking through the documents to figure out WTF is going on here* *can find nothing wrong with the paperwork besides the fact that the Doctor seems to be rather young* Dr. Chitose, excuse me for saying this, but you seem a little young to be a university professor.
Chitose: *blankface* I'm a child genius. -[O-O]-
Tachibana: *snorts and then coughs to hide his laughter* Yeah. A child genius. It's true. I grew up with him, he was always figuring out the answer to two times three before anyone else.
Chitose: *nods sagely* -[O-O]-
Police Officer: ... I see. *really has no idea what to do with this* Well. I'm sorry, gentlemen. This seems to be all in order. In the future, please file any paperwork with the airline before you attempt to go through security, to prevent any future incidents. ... O.O
Tachibana: *thoughtgul tone* I think he learned how to spell 'cat' first, too. The rest of us kept trying to use 'K'... But great, we'll just be going now. Got a flight to catch and all that.
Chitose: *kicks Kippei under the table* It's no trouble, officer. I apologize. I should have thought to check in first. It's the hard-working men like you who are helping us win the war against drug abuse. -[O-O]-
Police Officer: Well, I'll leave you to gather your things, and I'll go tell them to let you through security without any further delays. You should still be in time to catch your flight. *stands up, nods politely, and then exits the room*
Tachibana: *waits until the door shuts and then turns and snatches the ID card from Senri* Where the hell did you get this?
Chitose: *stands up and starts taking off lab coat and goggles* I printed them off the university computer. They let me use the lab by myself. I didn't want to get stuck in Bermuda without any weed, so I took a few precautions.
Chitose: Did the coat and the goggles help? I thought they made my story more believable.
Tachibana: They might have helped. Personally I wasn't sure if you were going for a PhD look or a mad scientist one. Though either would have worked, I guess.
Chitose: *grins at the thought of his own genius and finishes putting the papers back into his bag* Come on. Let's get on the plane before they start serving champagne.
Tachibana: If you manage to convince them we're old enough to have champagne, I'll admit to being impressed by all this.
Chitose: ... Fuck. I didn't think of that.
Tachibana: ...Oh good. The one thing you don't think of.
Chitose: Should I put the goggles back on?
Tachibana: They might throw you off the plane on account of you looking shady and suspicious. Then again they might do that anyway.
Tachibana: What happened to those fake IDs we used that one time at that one place? I might still have mine...
Chitose: I put mine in my suitcase. *looks crestfallen*
Tachibana: Well that was brilliant, Mr. PhD.
Chitose: Shut up.
Tachibana: *digs through his carry-on bag again, pulling out his wallet* Nice, I still have it. I'll sneak you champagne. You can pretend it's water or something.
Chitose: Thanks, Kippei. I'd almost think you were a decent human being if I didn't know you better.
Tachibana: ...Or maybe I'll sneak you water and just tell you it's alcohol.
Chitose: Bastard. *walking toward the door*
Tachibana: *follows* I'm sure your cannabis sativa will keep you plenty occupied.
Chitose: They don't let you smoke on a plane.
Chitose: I hope you get food poisoning from the complimentary meal.
Tachibana: I've never actually been on a plane before. They serve food?
Chitose: I think so. They do it in the movies.
Tachibana: They do a lot of stuff in movies. Like bring snakes on planes. *pauses for a second* There won't be any snakes on this flight though. Right? Right. Stupid question.
Chitose: You worry about snakes. I'm planning on joining the mile high club.
Tachibana: If you fit in the bathroom. I've heard they're small.
Chitose: Kippei, I think they'll have room for my manhood, impressive though it may be.
Tachibana: It's stuffing your ego in there that I'm worried about.
Chitose: ... Let's go board the flight. I'll insult you once we've got our seats.
Chitose: *opens the door and walks out*
Tachibana: Hehe. Sure. I understand that you need that long to think of something good. *follows, shutting the door behind him*
The End (for now)
Random French Tourist: *boarded the wrong flight and has ended up in the airport outside of Tokyo where no one speaks his language* *is quite distressed because he is unable to read the big map of the airport to figure out how the hell to get to the ticket desk* *is pulling at his hair and yelling dramatically* Merde! Merde! MERDE, AIR JAPAN!!!!!!!!
Chitose: *walks past with his rolling tie-dye luggage and carry-on bag, looking mellow in his geta* Where's our terminal?
Tachibana: *is following, trying to pretend the tie-dye luggage doesn't exist* How am I supposed to know? You're the one with the tickets.
Chitose: Hmmm. They're in my pocket. *continues walking and doesn't stop to check the tickets because such concerns are beyond him in his enlightened hippy state*
Tachibana: *raises eyebrows* Possibly it'd be a good idea to look at them. Unless your magic eight-ball also provides directions.
Chitose: That's a good idea. *stops in the middle of the crowd and looks through his bag* *pulls out his Magic Eight Ball and holds it high in the air, glowing for a moment with the light of Great Wisdom* *looks at Eight Ball gravely* Is our terminal to the left? *shakes and then looks* Try again later. *looks at Kippei* I guess we have to wait.
Tachibana: ...We don't have time to wait, our flight boards in an hour. Actually - *checks watch* - forty-five minutes.
Chitose: I guess I better look at the tickets then. *puts away his baby and gets out the tickets* *reads* Oh. This way. *points in some vague direction and then sets off again through the crowd with his luggage*
Tachibana: *stands there for a moment, then sighs and pushes through the crowd after him* What do they say? You didn't even check the terminal numbers and I don't think your wisdom or whatever comes with a good sense of direction.
Chitose: Terminal 13. We still have to go through security and baggage check. *clacks off in his geta, trusting that the spiritual vibrations of the universe will want him to catch this flight so he can follow his intuition instead of bothering to look for signs*
Tachibana: *stops walking abruptly* Senri. Terminal 13 is THAT way. *points in the complete opposite direction* You're headed towards Terminal 28. We're on the wrong side of the airport.
Chitose: *interprets this as fate acting through Tachibana* Righteous. Lead onward, Kippei! *walks on in front of him without waiting for him to take the lead* *is possibly a little stoned but he had to deal with his sister earlier so that's more than justified*
Tachibana: *rolls eyes and grabs Senri's arm* Still the wrong way. *tugs him toward some random escalator* If we're late and miss our flight, I'm going to hit you.
Chitose: Violence is never the answer. *says this as if Kippei is the dumbass who doesn't know what the fuck he's doing* *allows himself to be guided toward the escalator*
Tachibana: With you, it's usually the only RIGHT answer. *hauls Senri off through the crowds*
Escalator Ride: *happens in a scenic sort of way, complete with baby strollers and old women in track suits*
Maxine and Howie: *realize that they've completely messed up how airport security and baggage check works* *hereby declare that this is a SPECIAL airport where everything happens per their whim, regardless of any logic or reason*
Tachibana: *locates their terminal and goes over to check-in, yanking Senri along with him* Here. Found it. Get the tickets out.
Chitose: Righteous. *pulls out the tickets* *hands them to Kippei because he's being so demanding* You can deal with them.
Tachibana: I don't-- Fine. *walks up to the desk* *has never been in an airport before* *waves the tickets hopefully at the receptionist*
Receptionist: *in the most nasal voice possible* Can I help you?
Chitose: *stands around looking mellow*
Tachibana: Yeah. We have plane tickets. To...get on a plane. Obviously. *waves the tickets some more*
Receptionist: *voice pitched to shatter glass* I'll need to see your passports and another form of photographic identification. *begins punching keys on her keyboard* *is playing Solitaire but no one needs to know that*
Tachibana: *sighs and starts digging around in his carry-on bag* Passport. Right. I have that somewhere.
Tachibana: *finds it at the bottom of the bag and hands it over, before pulling out his wallet to grab his school ID* *looks at Senri* You do have your passport, right?
Chitose: Hmm? Passport. Right. *finds it in his bag quickly because the universe is on his side* *tosses it at Kippei's head* There you go.
Tachibana: *snatches it out of the air* Why do I have to do everything? *grumbles* You're two feet away from the desk, you could have given it to her. *hands it to the receptionist anyway*
Chitose: You're closer. *grins*
Tachibana: *waves hand impatiently* Right, whatever. Give me your ID.
Chitose: *already has it out* *throws it at him too* *finds this very amusing*
Tachibana: *glares* *slaps the ID down onto the desk*
Receptionist: *examines efficiently and gets a new high score* Thank you. *hands them back* I'll take your baggage now.
Tachibana: *does the same*
Receptionist: *weighs both suitcases and then looks down her very impressive nose at Kippei* This is over the weight limit. You'll have to pay another 1,000 yen, unless you'd like to remove a few bricks.
Chitose: *snickers* Nice going, Kippei.
Tachibana: ...
Tachibana: How-- What?! I didn't pack that much!
Tachibana: I knew I shouldn't have brought those extra swimsuits.
Chitose: *witty* Did you stuff them with rocks to make your package look more impressive?
Tachibana: *flat look* Har har. Do I need to remind you again who had the higher count last year?
Chitose: You had the population advantage. The size advantage doesn't always make up for that. *smiling*
Receptionist: ... *switches to Minesweeper*
Tachibana: Your excuse is getting old. Try again.
Tachibana: *doesn't wait for him to answer* *turns to the receptionist* So can we go now or what?
Chitose: Your cock isn't getting any bigger. Try herbal supplements. *is ignored*
Receptionist: You still have to pay 1,000 yen, sir, or remove some of the rocks from your shorts.
Tachibana: ...Oh. Right. *eye twitches* Alright, fine. Here. *hands over the money...that he magically has because he never payed Shishido back HAHA >.>*
Receptionist: Thank you, sir. *takes money and does her baggage thing* You may proceed through security and then board your flight. Thank you for flying with Virgin Airlines.
Tachibana: ...Who picked the airline?
Chitose: It came with the cruise tickets. It was part of the prize. *is unconcerned with this* *walks off in some other vague direction that might lead to the security check or the women's bathrooms*
Tachibana: *the women's bathroom is more likely* Senri. WRONG WAY.
Chitose: *veers off toward Kippei and whatever direction he's walking in* I knew that.
Tachibana: Yeah, sure. *heads toward the security check thing* You don't have any liquids in your carry-on bag, right?
Tachibana: *...because America's new policies have obviously made an impression on Japan*
Chitose: No, liquid free. I heard they serve booze in first class.
Tachibana: Are we in first class?
Chitose: It's a honeymoon trip. We've got first class and one of the best suites on the ship. It's righteous.
Tachibana: ...Nice.
Tachibana: You actually did something right for once.
Chitose: Hey. I was right that time about... *pauses* I forgot what I was going to say.
Tachibana: That's because whatever you were going to say never actually happened.
Chitose: Shut up, Kippei. You're supposed to be the dumb blonde.
Chitose: *reaches the line for the security check-point*
Tachibana: I try not to meet up with other people's expectations. *pulls out his ticket and ID again to hand to the security dude*
Chitose: *does the same because he's not that stoned* You're a loser, Kippei. *smiling, but that might be more from the residual buzz than any fondness for the moron to his right*
Tachibana: And you're very witty, Senri.
Chitose: *takes this as a genuine compliment* Thanks. I am.
Security Guard: *is walking along with his big drug-sniffing dog on a leash*
Tachibana: *sees the dog out of the corner of his eye* *warily* Senri. Did you bring...anything with you?
Chitose: *hasn't noticed the dog or the guard* Kippei. I brought a lot of stuff. I packed for a five-day cruise. *thinks his friend might be a little screwy in the head*
Tachibana: ...
Tachibana: That's not what I meant.
Tachibana: *glances at the looong line in front of them and then back at the dog* *sighs and decides to pretend he doesn't know the crazy hippy standing next to him*
Tachibana: *is such a good friend*
Dog: *catches the scent of the hippy and his bag* *starts barking and lunges*
Security Guard: *is dragged forward by his dog with a WTF expression on his face*
Tachibana: *wishes the line would move faster*
Chitose: *is knocked over by the dog that's trying to go for his bag because his shoes aren't the best for balancing* *grabs onto Kippei and drags him down with him* HOLY FUCK
Tachibana: *crashes onto the floor on top of Senri* What the hell--?!
Security Guard: *pulls dog back* Gentlemen, I'm afraid that you're going to have to come with me.
Other Security Guards: *swoop down OUT OF NOWHERE and drag them off to an empty white room where they are left to wait*
Tachibana: *is totally cool and not panicking at all* *hisses to Senri* Look what you did!
Chitose: *is starting to process what's going on* Don't worry, Kippei. I've got it under control. *starts searching through his bag which they've left with him for some reason that we don't need to think about too much*
Tachibana: You'd better have it under control. We might miss the flight now!
Chitose: *is going to remain completely calm as long as he finds what he's looking for*
Chitose: *pulls out some big white cloth thing and a pair of goggles* Here we go!
Tachibana: ...*has no idea what Senri is doing and isn't sure he WANTS to know*
Tachibana: *stares at him blankly* What's that?
Chitose: It is the road to our salvation. *says this as if he isn't responsible for this at all*
Chitose: *puts on what proves to be a lab coat*
Tachibana: *continues staring blankly* Are you going to perform scientific experiments on the security guards?
Chitose: No. *smiles but doesn't explain further* *puts on goggles and looks like a frog man* -[O-O]-
Tachibana: *snorts*
Chitose: *pulls some papers out of his bag just as someone opens the door*
Police Officer: *double-takes at the boy in the goggles as he comes into the room* Hello, gentlemen. *has seen stranger things* It seems that we have a problem. Please, take a seat. *motions to the chairs behind the table and moves to take a seat himself*
Chitose: *sits down*
Tachibana: *is once again not panicking or anything of the sort* *takes the seat beside Senri*
Police Officer: Now, as you may be aware, the security guard who had you detained was in possession of a canine specially trained to identify by scent contraband substances.
Chitose: *interrupts* Before we go any further, I'd like to ask a question. -[O-O]-
Tachibana: *resists the urge to facepalm*
Police Officer: ... Go ahead.
Chitose: Were we being searched because I'm black? I'm worried that there may be racial profiling involved in this, and if so, I'd like to contact my lawyer. -[O-O]-
Tachibana: ...Senri. Don't make me strangle you.
Police Officer: *WTF* Sir, you don't appear to be black.
Chitose: *looking pointedly at the police officer* What are you implying? -[O-O]-
Tachibana: *...plays along* He's half-and-half. His mother was an African princess.
Police Officer: *looks at both boys and decides that he needs a new assignment after this* I assure you both, race is not an issue here. If we could get back to the topic at hand, I must ask you if either of you are carrying any illegal substances.
Tachibana: *quickly* I'm not.
Tachibana: *is once again an awesome friend*
Chitose: *straight-forward as if this is the perfectly logical thing to say* I'm carrying several bags of cannabis sativa. -[O-O]-
Tachibana: ...
Tachibana: I don't know him.
Police Officer: *didn't expect it to be that easy* *smiles because his day just got a little bit better* Well then. If you'll just show me the bags, then I can place both of you under arrest, and we'll take you down to the station for further questioning.
Tachibana: I just said I don't know him! I'm here under false accusations. I shouldn't be forced to sit through this.
Police Officer: I'm sorry, but you were found travelling together, so you must be taken in on charges of conspiracy to traffic an illegal substance.
Tachibana: I was just standing next to him!
Chitose: *ignores Kippei* That won't be necessary, officer. -[O-O]-
Police Officer: *trying not to be weirded out by the boy in the lab coat and goggles* ... And why is that?
Tachibana: ...Yes, do tell, Senri.
Tachibana: If that's your name, since I don't know you.
Chitose: *smiles at Kippei then turns back to the officer* Allow me to introduce myself. *reaches out and shakes the officer's hand* I'm Dr. Chitose Senri with Osaka University. I have my identication here. -[O-O]-
Chitose: *hands over an ID card*
Tachibana: ...Doctor?
Chitose: Yes, Doctor of Neuroscientific Research. *acting pompous* Surely I've told you about my work before. -[O-O]-
Tachibana: Vaguely...
Police Officer: *looks over ID which does indeed identify him as Dr. Chitose Senri of Osaka University* It's nice to meet you, Dr. Chitose, but I'm afraid that your degree is not relevant to this case.
Chitose: *looks through papers again and passes several to the officer* As you can see, I'm conducting research on the effects of addictive substances on the nervous system in different environments. I've filed the proper documents through the University to allow me to transport whatever substances I will need for my experiments. *looks completely serious* -[O-O]-
Tachibana: *is slightly impressed* Right. What he said. He has permission or whatever. *nods*
Police Officer: *is looking through the documents to figure out WTF is going on here* *can find nothing wrong with the paperwork besides the fact that the Doctor seems to be rather young* Dr. Chitose, excuse me for saying this, but you seem a little young to be a university professor.
Chitose: *blankface* I'm a child genius. -[O-O]-
Tachibana: *snorts and then coughs to hide his laughter* Yeah. A child genius. It's true. I grew up with him, he was always figuring out the answer to two times three before anyone else.
Chitose: *nods sagely* -[O-O]-
Police Officer: ... I see. *really has no idea what to do with this* Well. I'm sorry, gentlemen. This seems to be all in order. In the future, please file any paperwork with the airline before you attempt to go through security, to prevent any future incidents. ... O.O
Tachibana: *thoughtgul tone* I think he learned how to spell 'cat' first, too. The rest of us kept trying to use 'K'... But great, we'll just be going now. Got a flight to catch and all that.
Chitose: *kicks Kippei under the table* It's no trouble, officer. I apologize. I should have thought to check in first. It's the hard-working men like you who are helping us win the war against drug abuse. -[O-O]-
Police Officer: Well, I'll leave you to gather your things, and I'll go tell them to let you through security without any further delays. You should still be in time to catch your flight. *stands up, nods politely, and then exits the room*
Tachibana: *waits until the door shuts and then turns and snatches the ID card from Senri* Where the hell did you get this?
Chitose: *stands up and starts taking off lab coat and goggles* I printed them off the university computer. They let me use the lab by myself. I didn't want to get stuck in Bermuda without any weed, so I took a few precautions.
Chitose: Did the coat and the goggles help? I thought they made my story more believable.
Tachibana: They might have helped. Personally I wasn't sure if you were going for a PhD look or a mad scientist one. Though either would have worked, I guess.
Chitose: *grins at the thought of his own genius and finishes putting the papers back into his bag* Come on. Let's get on the plane before they start serving champagne.
Tachibana: If you manage to convince them we're old enough to have champagne, I'll admit to being impressed by all this.
Chitose: ... Fuck. I didn't think of that.
Tachibana: ...Oh good. The one thing you don't think of.
Chitose: Should I put the goggles back on?
Tachibana: They might throw you off the plane on account of you looking shady and suspicious. Then again they might do that anyway.
Tachibana: What happened to those fake IDs we used that one time at that one place? I might still have mine...
Chitose: I put mine in my suitcase. *looks crestfallen*
Tachibana: Well that was brilliant, Mr. PhD.
Chitose: Shut up.
Tachibana: *digs through his carry-on bag again, pulling out his wallet* Nice, I still have it. I'll sneak you champagne. You can pretend it's water or something.
Chitose: Thanks, Kippei. I'd almost think you were a decent human being if I didn't know you better.
Tachibana: ...Or maybe I'll sneak you water and just tell you it's alcohol.
Chitose: Bastard. *walking toward the door*
Tachibana: *follows* I'm sure your cannabis sativa will keep you plenty occupied.
Chitose: They don't let you smoke on a plane.
Chitose: I hope you get food poisoning from the complimentary meal.
Tachibana: I've never actually been on a plane before. They serve food?
Chitose: I think so. They do it in the movies.
Tachibana: They do a lot of stuff in movies. Like bring snakes on planes. *pauses for a second* There won't be any snakes on this flight though. Right? Right. Stupid question.
Chitose: You worry about snakes. I'm planning on joining the mile high club.
Tachibana: If you fit in the bathroom. I've heard they're small.
Chitose: Kippei, I think they'll have room for my manhood, impressive though it may be.
Tachibana: It's stuffing your ego in there that I'm worried about.
Chitose: ... Let's go board the flight. I'll insult you once we've got our seats.
Chitose: *opens the door and walks out*
Tachibana: Hehe. Sure. I understand that you need that long to think of something good. *follows, shutting the door behind him*
The End (for now)