Chapter Four of "Rage and Temptation"
Title: Past Mistakes
Author: Me (Stephanie)
Summary: Addy changes for the better and helps Edward make up his mind.
Spoilers: Eh..not really.
Word Count: 1,541
Author's Note: Please comment and enjoy. Sorry it took so long to get up.
Addison:
My bad mood persisted all evening. However, when we got home, I had the intention of going up to my room, but as I passed the piano, I had the urge to sit and play.
Putting my bag on the ground, I ran my hand lovingly over the keys. I hadn’t played in a while, preferring to work on my art. But the impulse was so strong.
I sat down and closed my eyes, deciding what to play. I smiled slightly as a song came to mind. "Kiss The Rain" by Yiruma.
I played, the music drifting through the room, making me feel alive. I felt the music flow through me, filling me with a spark of light. I was vaguely aware that my family had gathered around me. I could feel Edward’s pride. He had longed to see me play again, but he didn’t want to force me.
However, though I knew they enjoyed seeing me play, as I did, I played for someone special. I played for someone I would never see again. Someone I had hurt. I played for him, the soldier. The only person I had ever loved...and whose love I threw away.
I played for my mother and father. For Tilly. For my friend Cassie. For all the people I had killed in my rage and during my thirst for blood.
I put my heart into the sad yet beautiful tune. And if I could cry, tears would be coming from beneath my closed lids.
I heard Esme let out a choked sob; she was happy to see me being myself. Being myself like I hadn’t been since the early 1940's; right after WWII.
I then turned to the song, "Love Me" by Yiruma. I heard Alice’s pleased thoughts, Jasper’s calm pleasure. Carlisle was a bit surprised. Just this morning, I had left the house in a temper, and now, I was playing piano, which I hadn’t done since early 1945, after I came home from the war. Had it really been over 61 years since I last sat at a piano?
As though some other force kept urging me to play, I proceeded into Yiruma’s "Do You". I closed my eyes, and in my head, I thought, "This is for you Mom and Dad. And you Cassie. Tilly, I know you would love this song. And Matthew, this is for you, my love."
My whole family seemed content. And Edward’s pride and joy....I never want to forget that. It was overwhelming. I heard Edward’s thoughts and smiled, sliding right into "River Flows In You" by Yiruma. What can I say? I love the man’s work.
I opened my eyes, and I knew they were peaceful and relaxed. The lightest yellow they had been in years. I felt overwhelmed by it all. Why had I suddenly changed?
To finish off my little concert, I decided to play one of Edward’s favorites: "Clair De Lune" by Debussy. When I finished, I turned to him and grinned.
I stood up and he hugged me. I hugged him back, feeling better than I had in a long while. Esme beamed at me, and the rest of my family smiled.
I was happy to be myself again. None of us spoke. But in our silence, all the unsaid words were conveyed. They were happy to see me being myself again, and not the zombie-like verison of myself who often flew into uncontrollable and unpredictable rages.
That night as I lay in bed, (I had one just to relax on seeing as I didn’t sleep), I realized what made me change. Bella and Edward’s conversation during Biology. And the spark I felt go between them. I knew even if Edward didn’t what it meant. I had felt that way once, but being a fool, I threw it away.
And that haunts me everyday. It haunted me everyday for the past 61 years.
Bella:
That whole week, both Addison and Edward Cullen seemed more cheerful. Addison even politely asked me how I was enjoying Forks.
"It’s..ok I guess," I had told her. The corners of her lips twitched as though she was going to smile. Instead, she nodded and asked me how I enjoyed school, and after I replied, she politely excused herself and walked away.
But then, the day I almost got killed by Tyler’s car, I saw her face. It was paler than usual, and her topaz eyes were wide in horror, her face perfectly matching Edward’s. I had no idea how he managed to save me from a car, and after I confronted him, it resulted in another fight.
Both of us barely acknowledged each other, and I sensed that ticked Addison off. I had no idea why. She used to pretend I never existed and occasionally glared at me. Now she appeared frustrated about Edward’s behavior towards me and mine towards him.
All I thought about was how strange they were, the Cullen twins. But beautifully strange. An enigma to unravel.
One I was determined to solve.
Addison:
I started playing piano everyday, occasionally helping Edward compose some music. Sometimes I accompanied his piano music with lyrics.
One day, I decided to play "Read My Mind" by the Killers on piano. It wasn’t a piano piece exactly, but I had an urge to play it on piano. I sang as I played.
On the corner of main street
Just tryin' to keep it in line
You say you wanna move on and
You say I'm falling behind
Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?
I never really gave up on
Breakin' out of this two-star town
I got the green light
I got a little fight
I'm gonna turn this thing around
Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?
The good old days, the honest man;
The restless heart, the Promised Land
A subtle kiss that no one sees;
A broken wrist and a big trapeze
Oh well I don't mind, you don't mindCause I don't shine if you don't shine
Before you go, can you read my mind?
It’s funny how you just break down
Waitin' on some sign
I pull up to the front of your driveway
With magic soakin' my spine
Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?
The teenage queen, the loaded gun;
The drop dead dream, the Chosen One
A southern drawl, a world unseen;
A city wall and a trampoline
Oh well I don't mind, you don't mind
Cause I don't shine if you don't shine
Before you go
Tell me what you find when you read my mind
Slippin’ in my faith until I fall
You never returned that call
Woman, open the door, don't let it sting
I wanna breathe that fire again
She said
Oh well I don't mind, you don't mind
Cause I don't shine if you don't shine
Put your back on me
Put your back on me
Put your back on me
The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun
When you read my mind
Edward smiled. "That’s not a common piano piece. Next thing we know you’ll be playing a Three Days Grace song on piano."
I laughed. "I can do that you know." Then I sighed.
He sensed I was about to say something.
"Edward, talk to Bella. She seems to be a sweet kid. Talk to her. It’s awful watching you two walk around each other like one of you has some kind of disease. And you both were nice to each other before."
"Addy, it’s dangerous for me to be her friend." There was more to his words. He wanted to be her friend I could tell. But as usual, as I had, he convinced himself it wasn’t fair. That he would hurt her. Which was a real possibility.
"Edward," I said touching his hand. "Edward, you’re not the one with anger issues." He smiled weakly. "I know what you’re going through, and you saw what happened to me when I denied myself the friendship I craved. I became a monster. I’d hate to see that happen to you." I paused. "Besides, I’m always watching your mind. I have your back. I won’t let anything happen."
He hesitated. I knew I had him convinced.
"I suppose I can try, and when it becomes too much..," he trailed off.
I grinned and stood up. I slapped him on the back. "Now, go get her champ!" I said smiling.
He jumped to his feet and chuckled. He ruffled my hair affectionately.
"What would I do without you?" he asked.
I smiled. "I don’t know. You would be lost most likely without my wise and guiding ways," I said with mock solemnity.
He smiled and shook his head and went to his room where I heard some classic piano music blare from his radio a few moments later. I however, sat on the couch and pulled a book from my bag to read, thinking sadly of how I had thrown a valuable friendship away, and vowing never to let Edward make the mistakes I had. Ones that I regretted and would regret, for my whole immortal life.
And here's a Photshopped image of Avril Lavigne made to look like Addy. I'm pleased with the results. What do you think?
http://pics.livejournal.com/get_out_alive24/pic/00028se5/
Author: Me (Stephanie)
Summary: Addy changes for the better and helps Edward make up his mind.
Spoilers: Eh..not really.
Word Count: 1,541
Author's Note: Please comment and enjoy. Sorry it took so long to get up.
Addison:
My bad mood persisted all evening. However, when we got home, I had the intention of going up to my room, but as I passed the piano, I had the urge to sit and play.
Putting my bag on the ground, I ran my hand lovingly over the keys. I hadn’t played in a while, preferring to work on my art. But the impulse was so strong.
I sat down and closed my eyes, deciding what to play. I smiled slightly as a song came to mind. "Kiss The Rain" by Yiruma.
I played, the music drifting through the room, making me feel alive. I felt the music flow through me, filling me with a spark of light. I was vaguely aware that my family had gathered around me. I could feel Edward’s pride. He had longed to see me play again, but he didn’t want to force me.
However, though I knew they enjoyed seeing me play, as I did, I played for someone special. I played for someone I would never see again. Someone I had hurt. I played for him, the soldier. The only person I had ever loved...and whose love I threw away.
I played for my mother and father. For Tilly. For my friend Cassie. For all the people I had killed in my rage and during my thirst for blood.
I put my heart into the sad yet beautiful tune. And if I could cry, tears would be coming from beneath my closed lids.
I heard Esme let out a choked sob; she was happy to see me being myself. Being myself like I hadn’t been since the early 1940's; right after WWII.
I then turned to the song, "Love Me" by Yiruma. I heard Alice’s pleased thoughts, Jasper’s calm pleasure. Carlisle was a bit surprised. Just this morning, I had left the house in a temper, and now, I was playing piano, which I hadn’t done since early 1945, after I came home from the war. Had it really been over 61 years since I last sat at a piano?
As though some other force kept urging me to play, I proceeded into Yiruma’s "Do You". I closed my eyes, and in my head, I thought, "This is for you Mom and Dad. And you Cassie. Tilly, I know you would love this song. And Matthew, this is for you, my love."
My whole family seemed content. And Edward’s pride and joy....I never want to forget that. It was overwhelming. I heard Edward’s thoughts and smiled, sliding right into "River Flows In You" by Yiruma. What can I say? I love the man’s work.
I opened my eyes, and I knew they were peaceful and relaxed. The lightest yellow they had been in years. I felt overwhelmed by it all. Why had I suddenly changed?
To finish off my little concert, I decided to play one of Edward’s favorites: "Clair De Lune" by Debussy. When I finished, I turned to him and grinned.
I stood up and he hugged me. I hugged him back, feeling better than I had in a long while. Esme beamed at me, and the rest of my family smiled.
I was happy to be myself again. None of us spoke. But in our silence, all the unsaid words were conveyed. They were happy to see me being myself again, and not the zombie-like verison of myself who often flew into uncontrollable and unpredictable rages.
That night as I lay in bed, (I had one just to relax on seeing as I didn’t sleep), I realized what made me change. Bella and Edward’s conversation during Biology. And the spark I felt go between them. I knew even if Edward didn’t what it meant. I had felt that way once, but being a fool, I threw it away.
And that haunts me everyday. It haunted me everyday for the past 61 years.
Bella:
That whole week, both Addison and Edward Cullen seemed more cheerful. Addison even politely asked me how I was enjoying Forks.
"It’s..ok I guess," I had told her. The corners of her lips twitched as though she was going to smile. Instead, she nodded and asked me how I enjoyed school, and after I replied, she politely excused herself and walked away.
But then, the day I almost got killed by Tyler’s car, I saw her face. It was paler than usual, and her topaz eyes were wide in horror, her face perfectly matching Edward’s. I had no idea how he managed to save me from a car, and after I confronted him, it resulted in another fight.
Both of us barely acknowledged each other, and I sensed that ticked Addison off. I had no idea why. She used to pretend I never existed and occasionally glared at me. Now she appeared frustrated about Edward’s behavior towards me and mine towards him.
All I thought about was how strange they were, the Cullen twins. But beautifully strange. An enigma to unravel.
One I was determined to solve.
Addison:
I started playing piano everyday, occasionally helping Edward compose some music. Sometimes I accompanied his piano music with lyrics.
One day, I decided to play "Read My Mind" by the Killers on piano. It wasn’t a piano piece exactly, but I had an urge to play it on piano. I sang as I played.
On the corner of main street
Just tryin' to keep it in line
You say you wanna move on and
You say I'm falling behind
Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?
I never really gave up on
Breakin' out of this two-star town
I got the green light
I got a little fight
I'm gonna turn this thing around
Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?
The good old days, the honest man;
The restless heart, the Promised Land
A subtle kiss that no one sees;
A broken wrist and a big trapeze
Oh well I don't mind, you don't mindCause I don't shine if you don't shine
Before you go, can you read my mind?
It’s funny how you just break down
Waitin' on some sign
I pull up to the front of your driveway
With magic soakin' my spine
Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?
The teenage queen, the loaded gun;
The drop dead dream, the Chosen One
A southern drawl, a world unseen;
A city wall and a trampoline
Oh well I don't mind, you don't mind
Cause I don't shine if you don't shine
Before you go
Tell me what you find when you read my mind
Slippin’ in my faith until I fall
You never returned that call
Woman, open the door, don't let it sting
I wanna breathe that fire again
She said
Oh well I don't mind, you don't mind
Cause I don't shine if you don't shine
Put your back on me
Put your back on me
Put your back on me
The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun
When you read my mind
Edward smiled. "That’s not a common piano piece. Next thing we know you’ll be playing a Three Days Grace song on piano."
I laughed. "I can do that you know." Then I sighed.
He sensed I was about to say something.
"Edward, talk to Bella. She seems to be a sweet kid. Talk to her. It’s awful watching you two walk around each other like one of you has some kind of disease. And you both were nice to each other before."
"Addy, it’s dangerous for me to be her friend." There was more to his words. He wanted to be her friend I could tell. But as usual, as I had, he convinced himself it wasn’t fair. That he would hurt her. Which was a real possibility.
"Edward," I said touching his hand. "Edward, you’re not the one with anger issues." He smiled weakly. "I know what you’re going through, and you saw what happened to me when I denied myself the friendship I craved. I became a monster. I’d hate to see that happen to you." I paused. "Besides, I’m always watching your mind. I have your back. I won’t let anything happen."
He hesitated. I knew I had him convinced.
"I suppose I can try, and when it becomes too much..," he trailed off.
I grinned and stood up. I slapped him on the back. "Now, go get her champ!" I said smiling.
He jumped to his feet and chuckled. He ruffled my hair affectionately.
"What would I do without you?" he asked.
I smiled. "I don’t know. You would be lost most likely without my wise and guiding ways," I said with mock solemnity.
He smiled and shook his head and went to his room where I heard some classic piano music blare from his radio a few moments later. I however, sat on the couch and pulled a book from my bag to read, thinking sadly of how I had thrown a valuable friendship away, and vowing never to let Edward make the mistakes I had. Ones that I regretted and would regret, for my whole immortal life.
And here's a Photshopped image of Avril Lavigne made to look like Addy. I'm pleased with the results. What do you think?
http://pics.livejournal.com/get_out_alive24/pic/00028se5/