Dear crew, or whomever it may concern:
Got bored in sickbay today, so I decided to share a few definitions with some of you to inject a little levity into your daily routine. On a side note, Jim, stop by my quarters later, I uh, made you something.
These are from a favorite author of mine in the mid seventeenth century, I believe. Ambrose Bierce; I think we have a lot in common.
For our Captain:
Bigot, n. One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
For us physicians aboard, including Nurses:
Physician, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
also
Diagnosis, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.
For Helmsman Sulu:
Piracy, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
For those of us who weren't able to get jobs planetside:
Resident, adj. Unable to leave.
For our psychiatrists, therapists and psychologists aboard:
Self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisement.
And, as an ending note, for Spock: Even if he'll never read this, I enjoyed this one particularly
Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and minor premise and a conclusion - thus:
Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as fast as one man.
Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; therefore - Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second.
This may be called the syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.
These are from a favorite author of mine in the mid seventeenth century, I believe. Ambrose Bierce; I think we have a lot in common.
For our Captain:
Bigot, n. One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
For us physicians aboard, including Nurses:
Physician, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
also
Diagnosis, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.
For Helmsman Sulu:
Piracy, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
For those of us who weren't able to get jobs planetside:
Resident, adj. Unable to leave.
For our psychiatrists, therapists and psychologists aboard:
Self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisement.
And, as an ending note, for Spock: Even if he'll never read this, I enjoyed this one particularly
Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and minor premise and a conclusion - thus:
Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as fast as one man.
Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; therefore - Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second.
This may be called the syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.