Something always humbles ya
I've haven't dealt with death all that much. I think I can count on my two hands those who I've come in contact with that have died. Both my grandmothers who I didn't know all that much (both grandfathers were dead before I was born), close friend of my grandmother, a friend of the family who had survived cancer on more than 1 occasion - who was my father's age, and the suicide of someone I had class with in high school, but wasn't from my year nor did I know him outside of class. I may be missing a few here and there, but that's the thing, death never really hit home.
Today I found out that a classmate of mine who I graduated elementary school with passed away recently from a heart attack. He was an asshole to me about 75% of the time. He was the tall fat bully, and I was the scrawny short kid. I wasn't the main target after a) we got someone smaller and scrawnier and b) I outgrew him. I may have seen him once since graduating in 91, so that means once in almost 17 years. The circumstances of his death were a little tragic. He had been in an elevator accident that should have killed him. He survived and got a good settlement out of it, but would have a limp for life. Apparently the medicine he took damaged his heart over time and it just gave up after all these years. My point is that, this is the first person I knew who I interacted with on a daily basis for many years that is no longer with us. Forget that I haven't seen him in 17 years. Forget that what I've been told he actually became a very nice guy and a gentleman. This death kinda put a few things in my mind.....
1) The 'I'm not Superman' idea. I may be young still, but I'm not invincible.
2) I think this would have hit me a lot harder if I wasn't already in the middle of changing my career. I think I'd have an inner panic attack otherwise. Because the thought of dying unexpectedly without feeling like I did something or in the process of doing something I wanted to do, would have really gotten to me.
This again renews my list of many thing I'm looking forward to accomplishing.......
1) Make a list of things I'm looking forward to accomplishing
2) Finishing massage school
3) Learn to swim
4) Learn to ride a bike
5) Learn to sing (seriously I just want to be able to just be barely decent, not Idol worthy. Something where I don't resort to falsetto.)
6) Learn to play the bass or drums. Yes I have a guitar and I can somewhat play, but I actually like the deeper sounds better.
I think I'm content with myself now, which for the last several years, I would have said I'm not. People have mentioned I look happier and I think I owe it to massage school and the future of what that career would bring.
Today I found out that a classmate of mine who I graduated elementary school with passed away recently from a heart attack. He was an asshole to me about 75% of the time. He was the tall fat bully, and I was the scrawny short kid. I wasn't the main target after a) we got someone smaller and scrawnier and b) I outgrew him. I may have seen him once since graduating in 91, so that means once in almost 17 years. The circumstances of his death were a little tragic. He had been in an elevator accident that should have killed him. He survived and got a good settlement out of it, but would have a limp for life. Apparently the medicine he took damaged his heart over time and it just gave up after all these years. My point is that, this is the first person I knew who I interacted with on a daily basis for many years that is no longer with us. Forget that I haven't seen him in 17 years. Forget that what I've been told he actually became a very nice guy and a gentleman. This death kinda put a few things in my mind.....
1) The 'I'm not Superman' idea. I may be young still, but I'm not invincible.
2) I think this would have hit me a lot harder if I wasn't already in the middle of changing my career. I think I'd have an inner panic attack otherwise. Because the thought of dying unexpectedly without feeling like I did something or in the process of doing something I wanted to do, would have really gotten to me.
This again renews my list of many thing I'm looking forward to accomplishing.......
1) Make a list of things I'm looking forward to accomplishing
2) Finishing massage school
3) Learn to swim
4) Learn to ride a bike
5) Learn to sing (seriously I just want to be able to just be barely decent, not Idol worthy. Something where I don't resort to falsetto.)
6) Learn to play the bass or drums. Yes I have a guitar and I can somewhat play, but I actually like the deeper sounds better.
I think I'm content with myself now, which for the last several years, I would have said I'm not. People have mentioned I look happier and I think I owe it to massage school and the future of what that career would bring.