Fic: And So It Goes (Harry/Draco)
fic for strigoia
Author: gestaltrose
Title: And So It Goes
Pairing: Harry/Draco mention of Harry/Ginny (past) and Draco/OFC (past)
Rating: PG-13 (shocking I know)
Word count: 2000 or so
Beta Unbetaed, though chez_monica looked at it for me.
Warnings: slash, slight Ginny bashing, a complete lack of smut!
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just to be clear, they are not mine.
Summary: There is Harry and Draco and a sort of story on how they got together. Not cannon compliant. Just so you know.
Notes: strigoia is done with college for all intents and purposes and to celebrate I offered to write her a story. She accepted and when I begged shamelessly for prompts she said Harry/Draco of course and how she was obsessed with And So It Goes by Billy Joel right now. She asked for plotty but said porn would be good. The muse took the plot and ran… I still can’t find any porn. *shakes head*
And So It Goes
In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along
Draco wept as he buried his wife and their child. Even with magic nothing was foolproof. Something had happened during the birth and their son had been stillborn. They had let Draco hold him and he was moving to show Renee their child for a last goodbye when suddenly there was a gush of blood and Renee, his wife, his lover, his confidant, died right before his eyes. The rain poured and Draco thought it was apropos, matched his mood, his life. Looking up Draco spotted someone hovering, far enough away to not intrude yet, Draco got the feeling that they wanted to.
“Potter, come to gloat?” Draco was tired. Tired of everything, fighting all the time for respect, for a decent place in society, and right now extremely tired of Harry fucking Potter.
Harry flinched and shook his head.
“Cat got your tongue or maybe that redheaded bint you married has it?”
Harry mumbled something that Draco couldn’t make out. “What Potter? If you can’t talk right just leave me the hell alone.”
“Ginny’s gone,” he spoke up finally.
“Don’t expect any sympathy from me,” Draco snapped and turned away from Harry. Whatever Potter wanted, Draco wasn’t in the mood to deal with it.
“No,” Harry stopped him or tried. “I heard about your wife, and son,” Harry added the last quietly. “I wanted to pay my respects.”
“No one else bothered to,” Draco snapped. Even his parents had stayed away, his father was once again trying to get ‘in’ at the Ministry and Draco wasn’t. Looking down Draco saw that Harry’s hand was still resting on his arm. Glancing back up, Draco saw something, some need in Harry’s eyes. Analyzing the situation he decided that fucking Potter would be preferable to going home alone.
“You coming?” Draco could see the surprise on Harry’s face as Draco held his hand out to him.
“Yeah,” Harry said and they Apparated away.
I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense
Two years later Draco ran into Harry again. After their one night together they hadn’t spoken since and Draco wasn’t sure what he felt. “Harry,” he said cautiously.
Harry smiled one of those smiles that Draco used to always envy the Weasel and Granger for and Draco almost turned around to see who was behind him. Sitting at his desk at the accounting firm of Kennedy and Wong he closed the spreadsheet he’d been working on and gave Harry his full attention.
“Draco,” He sounded as pleased as he looked.
“I saw the notice in the paper,” Draco finally said after he realized that he and Harry were just smiling at each other like lovesick fools.
Harry shrugged and looked down. He looked so vulnerable it made Draco want to protect him. “I was surprised. I thought she left years ago.”
“She did. But she wouldn’t divorce me. Said that they didn’t do that in the wizarding world.”
“Bullshit,” Draco got out.
Harry gave him a tight smile. “Yeah, I know that, now. Anyway, she’s been living on the Continent, going through lovers like they were going out of style and spending my money on them. She’s pregnant now and wants to claim that the child is mine so it can ‘inherit’ what my parents and Sirius left me. I told her no and finally did some research.” Shaking his head like he knew now just how silly he’d been he continued. “Hermione told me the truth about the law and suggested I get a full accounting of what I had and what I have left.”
“You come highly recommended,” Harry said with a soft smile. “Here,” he sat two large folders in front of Draco. “This,” he placed his hand on the larger of the two files, “is what I had after, everything.” The war is what he meant but they were being good so Draco didn’t correct him. “And this one,” he sat a slimmer file on the desk next to the first one, “is what I have now. I have consolidated, sold some things but,” Harry looked at Draco, “I think maybe more has gone missing.”
Draco nodded. He could do this, no problem. Reaching for the files he looked up at Harry when he sat his hand on them.
“Will you have dinner with me?” Harry asked.
He could only shake his head no. Draco's throat had closed up, he was so scared of what might happen or what he might feel that he couldn’t speak.
Leaving the folders behind, Harry Apparated away.
And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose
Four months later Draco stood outside Harry’s door. They had been in contact by owl a couple of times so Harry could stay appraised of what was going on. However, he now had the full report in his hands and it was with a grim face that he lifted the knocker and let it drop.
“Draco,” Harry said as he answered the door. “Come in.”
Draco stood hesitantly on the doorstep; it was almost as if he was suddenly seeing the future. He could hand Harry the report and bid him goodnight or he could take a chance, take that step. Thinking he must be some kind of fool, he stepped inside.
He moved in two weeks later and was the happiest he could ever remember being. Harry was a great lover. Who would have thought that? They never spoke of the darkness of their shared pass, although both of them thought the other had had a seriously fucked up childhood. Sometimes, when it rained they would laugh about certain pranks when they were kids.
Harry still saw Granger and Weasely. Though apparently not so much since the divorce. The Weasley’s had made it clear to Harry that they loved him, supported him in this but that no matter what Ginny was their daughter. Another thing that bitch stole from Harry.
They were like symbiotes, each giving the other something and never asking for more, never digging for something the other wasn’t ready to give. They were both so hurt by the past that neither one of them truly trusted the future.
But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break
“I love you,” Harry said to Draco. He panicked, he couldn’t, he just couldn’t. “Hey, it’s all right Draco. You don’t need to say it back. I just wanted to tell you.”
Over the breakfast table. Oh, yeah that made sense. “Got to go to work,” Draco said as he snatched some toast off his plate. “Not sure when I’ll be home.”
Harry stared at him in confusion. “But you said you didn’t need to go in today.”
“Forgot about having to close the books for this month. I’ll see you later.” Draco Apparated out before Harry could say anything. He Apparated to his old house, the one he had hoped to fill with children and love before Renee had died. He hadn’t thought about love since she died because she left such a gaping wound in his soul he wasn’t sure he could survive if it happened again.
Looking around, he got rid of the layer of dust that lay across everything. Draco remembered them buying this house when he had first been hired on at the firm. It was a commitment to the future to their future, one that didn’t work out. Draco sat on the floor in front of a cold fireplace as his eyes filled with tears.
He couldn’t love Harry because the things he loved left him. They had had so many dreams, he and Renee and look at it. Now he had nothing.
“Draco?” A voice said from the other room just as the Apparation alarms went off. Shaking his head and wiping his tears away, Draco turned to see Harry walk into the living room. “There was this ghost,” Harry said.
Renee, Draco thought his heart twisting in pain.
“She said you needed me,” Harry said quietly. “Do you?” Harry sounded so vulnerable that Draco looked over at him.
This was his chance, once again standing on the brink of something, and he could either run or. . . A tear slid down his cheek and trembled on his jaw until it fell to the floor. “Yes, I do.”
And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
Draco closed his eyes, scared to see what expression might be on Harry’s face. “I,” he swallowed heavily, “I love you too.” He stood there and waited for the roof to explode or the walls to cave in, but nothing happened. “Harry,” Draco’s voice hitched with his unshed tears. What if Harry left now, what would he do?
Opening his eyes as a warm hand touched his face he looked into Harry’s eyes. Both of them had been through so much, both had loved and lost. What were they supposed to do now? Now that it had been said.
Nothing, as it turned out. Nothing and everything. Draco still went to work at the office, Harry went around doing Harry things. They would meet with Granger and Weasley every so often for drinks at the pub. Everyone seemed to assume that they were just good friends. Harry didn’t do anything to challenge that and neither did Draco. He liked that Harry was the only one who knew.
So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break
Three years later and Draco put on a new suit and stood in a courtyard pacing. He had been practicing what exactly to say. “Harry would you do me the honour. . .” No that sounded too formal. Hmmm he thought. Maybe just blurt it out? But Draco expected more from himself.
“Draco?” Suddenly Harry was at the door. “What are you doing outside?”
“Harry,” Draco smiled at him. “Will you go to dinner with me?”
Harry looked Draco over. “Do I need to dress up too?” Draco shrugged, it didn’t matter to him what Harry wore as long as he was there. Mentally laughing at himself, he would have never, after the way he was brought up, have thought that appearance didn’t matter. But this was Harry and it didn’t.
“Sure then, let me grab a jacket.” Reaching out of sight, Harry grabbed his coat and moved to join Draco. “What’s the occasion? Did you get the partnership?”
Draco shook his head, grinned and held his hand out to Harry. Harry looked at him like he had gone mad. They had never, ever, been into public displays of affection for many many reasons. But Draco only held his hand out still, waiting for Harry.
“All right,” Harry said slowly as he took Draco’s hand.
“Portkey,” Draco warned Harry and then they were just outside their favorite restaurant. Draco knew that after the whole, ‘being portkeyed to the evil bastard from hell’ Harry didn’t care for them. But it was the quickest way Draco knew to get them here.
Walking in, they were seated quickly, Draco having made reservations well over a month ago. In a quiet dark corner Draco took a look around. This was secluded and perfect.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing, I just had a great day and wanted to spend some time with you.” Draco smiled at Harry who just shook his head.
Ordering and eating they talked Quidditch and new brooms models until they were finishing up desert.
It was now or never. How did those stupid Muggles do it? Got down on one knee, that’s right. Draco had decided that was stupid but now he was wondering if Harry would like it better. Shaking his head slightly at his foolishness he reached inside his pocket and brought out a box. Small and made of cedar he handled it gently. Holding it out to Harry he took the biggest breath he ever had and just asked. He handed Harry his heart and just hoped he was doing the right thing.
Harry smiled big and just answered taking the box from Draco and opening it. Inside were two rings both unadorned bands of silver and Harry tried his on. Draco laughed and it was like a pressure had been released. He was still here, Harry was still here.
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
They were each other’s and now everyone would know.
-fin
You can get the song right here.
And you can watch the video right here
Author: gestaltrose
Title: And So It Goes
Pairing: Harry/Draco mention of Harry/Ginny (past) and Draco/OFC (past)
Rating: PG-13 (shocking I know)
Word count: 2000 or so
Beta Unbetaed, though chez_monica looked at it for me.
Warnings: slash, slight Ginny bashing, a complete lack of smut!
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just to be clear, they are not mine.
Summary: There is Harry and Draco and a sort of story on how they got together. Not cannon compliant. Just so you know.
Notes: strigoia is done with college for all intents and purposes and to celebrate I offered to write her a story. She accepted and when I begged shamelessly for prompts she said Harry/Draco of course and how she was obsessed with And So It Goes by Billy Joel right now. She asked for plotty but said porn would be good. The muse took the plot and ran… I still can’t find any porn. *shakes head*
And So It Goes
In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along
Draco wept as he buried his wife and their child. Even with magic nothing was foolproof. Something had happened during the birth and their son had been stillborn. They had let Draco hold him and he was moving to show Renee their child for a last goodbye when suddenly there was a gush of blood and Renee, his wife, his lover, his confidant, died right before his eyes. The rain poured and Draco thought it was apropos, matched his mood, his life. Looking up Draco spotted someone hovering, far enough away to not intrude yet, Draco got the feeling that they wanted to.
“Potter, come to gloat?” Draco was tired. Tired of everything, fighting all the time for respect, for a decent place in society, and right now extremely tired of Harry fucking Potter.
Harry flinched and shook his head.
“Cat got your tongue or maybe that redheaded bint you married has it?”
Harry mumbled something that Draco couldn’t make out. “What Potter? If you can’t talk right just leave me the hell alone.”
“Ginny’s gone,” he spoke up finally.
“Don’t expect any sympathy from me,” Draco snapped and turned away from Harry. Whatever Potter wanted, Draco wasn’t in the mood to deal with it.
“No,” Harry stopped him or tried. “I heard about your wife, and son,” Harry added the last quietly. “I wanted to pay my respects.”
“No one else bothered to,” Draco snapped. Even his parents had stayed away, his father was once again trying to get ‘in’ at the Ministry and Draco wasn’t. Looking down Draco saw that Harry’s hand was still resting on his arm. Glancing back up, Draco saw something, some need in Harry’s eyes. Analyzing the situation he decided that fucking Potter would be preferable to going home alone.
“You coming?” Draco could see the surprise on Harry’s face as Draco held his hand out to him.
“Yeah,” Harry said and they Apparated away.
I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense
Two years later Draco ran into Harry again. After their one night together they hadn’t spoken since and Draco wasn’t sure what he felt. “Harry,” he said cautiously.
Harry smiled one of those smiles that Draco used to always envy the Weasel and Granger for and Draco almost turned around to see who was behind him. Sitting at his desk at the accounting firm of Kennedy and Wong he closed the spreadsheet he’d been working on and gave Harry his full attention.
“Draco,” He sounded as pleased as he looked.
“I saw the notice in the paper,” Draco finally said after he realized that he and Harry were just smiling at each other like lovesick fools.
Harry shrugged and looked down. He looked so vulnerable it made Draco want to protect him. “I was surprised. I thought she left years ago.”
“She did. But she wouldn’t divorce me. Said that they didn’t do that in the wizarding world.”
“Bullshit,” Draco got out.
Harry gave him a tight smile. “Yeah, I know that, now. Anyway, she’s been living on the Continent, going through lovers like they were going out of style and spending my money on them. She’s pregnant now and wants to claim that the child is mine so it can ‘inherit’ what my parents and Sirius left me. I told her no and finally did some research.” Shaking his head like he knew now just how silly he’d been he continued. “Hermione told me the truth about the law and suggested I get a full accounting of what I had and what I have left.”
“You come highly recommended,” Harry said with a soft smile. “Here,” he sat two large folders in front of Draco. “This,” he placed his hand on the larger of the two files, “is what I had after, everything.” The war is what he meant but they were being good so Draco didn’t correct him. “And this one,” he sat a slimmer file on the desk next to the first one, “is what I have now. I have consolidated, sold some things but,” Harry looked at Draco, “I think maybe more has gone missing.”
Draco nodded. He could do this, no problem. Reaching for the files he looked up at Harry when he sat his hand on them.
“Will you have dinner with me?” Harry asked.
He could only shake his head no. Draco's throat had closed up, he was so scared of what might happen or what he might feel that he couldn’t speak.
Leaving the folders behind, Harry Apparated away.
And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose
Four months later Draco stood outside Harry’s door. They had been in contact by owl a couple of times so Harry could stay appraised of what was going on. However, he now had the full report in his hands and it was with a grim face that he lifted the knocker and let it drop.
“Draco,” Harry said as he answered the door. “Come in.”
Draco stood hesitantly on the doorstep; it was almost as if he was suddenly seeing the future. He could hand Harry the report and bid him goodnight or he could take a chance, take that step. Thinking he must be some kind of fool, he stepped inside.
He moved in two weeks later and was the happiest he could ever remember being. Harry was a great lover. Who would have thought that? They never spoke of the darkness of their shared pass, although both of them thought the other had had a seriously fucked up childhood. Sometimes, when it rained they would laugh about certain pranks when they were kids.
Harry still saw Granger and Weasely. Though apparently not so much since the divorce. The Weasley’s had made it clear to Harry that they loved him, supported him in this but that no matter what Ginny was their daughter. Another thing that bitch stole from Harry.
They were like symbiotes, each giving the other something and never asking for more, never digging for something the other wasn’t ready to give. They were both so hurt by the past that neither one of them truly trusted the future.
But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break
“I love you,” Harry said to Draco. He panicked, he couldn’t, he just couldn’t. “Hey, it’s all right Draco. You don’t need to say it back. I just wanted to tell you.”
Over the breakfast table. Oh, yeah that made sense. “Got to go to work,” Draco said as he snatched some toast off his plate. “Not sure when I’ll be home.”
Harry stared at him in confusion. “But you said you didn’t need to go in today.”
“Forgot about having to close the books for this month. I’ll see you later.” Draco Apparated out before Harry could say anything. He Apparated to his old house, the one he had hoped to fill with children and love before Renee had died. He hadn’t thought about love since she died because she left such a gaping wound in his soul he wasn’t sure he could survive if it happened again.
Looking around, he got rid of the layer of dust that lay across everything. Draco remembered them buying this house when he had first been hired on at the firm. It was a commitment to the future to their future, one that didn’t work out. Draco sat on the floor in front of a cold fireplace as his eyes filled with tears.
He couldn’t love Harry because the things he loved left him. They had had so many dreams, he and Renee and look at it. Now he had nothing.
“Draco?” A voice said from the other room just as the Apparation alarms went off. Shaking his head and wiping his tears away, Draco turned to see Harry walk into the living room. “There was this ghost,” Harry said.
Renee, Draco thought his heart twisting in pain.
“She said you needed me,” Harry said quietly. “Do you?” Harry sounded so vulnerable that Draco looked over at him.
This was his chance, once again standing on the brink of something, and he could either run or. . . A tear slid down his cheek and trembled on his jaw until it fell to the floor. “Yes, I do.”
And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
Draco closed his eyes, scared to see what expression might be on Harry’s face. “I,” he swallowed heavily, “I love you too.” He stood there and waited for the roof to explode or the walls to cave in, but nothing happened. “Harry,” Draco’s voice hitched with his unshed tears. What if Harry left now, what would he do?
Opening his eyes as a warm hand touched his face he looked into Harry’s eyes. Both of them had been through so much, both had loved and lost. What were they supposed to do now? Now that it had been said.
Nothing, as it turned out. Nothing and everything. Draco still went to work at the office, Harry went around doing Harry things. They would meet with Granger and Weasley every so often for drinks at the pub. Everyone seemed to assume that they were just good friends. Harry didn’t do anything to challenge that and neither did Draco. He liked that Harry was the only one who knew.
So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break
Three years later and Draco put on a new suit and stood in a courtyard pacing. He had been practicing what exactly to say. “Harry would you do me the honour. . .” No that sounded too formal. Hmmm he thought. Maybe just blurt it out? But Draco expected more from himself.
“Draco?” Suddenly Harry was at the door. “What are you doing outside?”
“Harry,” Draco smiled at him. “Will you go to dinner with me?”
Harry looked Draco over. “Do I need to dress up too?” Draco shrugged, it didn’t matter to him what Harry wore as long as he was there. Mentally laughing at himself, he would have never, after the way he was brought up, have thought that appearance didn’t matter. But this was Harry and it didn’t.
“Sure then, let me grab a jacket.” Reaching out of sight, Harry grabbed his coat and moved to join Draco. “What’s the occasion? Did you get the partnership?”
Draco shook his head, grinned and held his hand out to Harry. Harry looked at him like he had gone mad. They had never, ever, been into public displays of affection for many many reasons. But Draco only held his hand out still, waiting for Harry.
“All right,” Harry said slowly as he took Draco’s hand.
“Portkey,” Draco warned Harry and then they were just outside their favorite restaurant. Draco knew that after the whole, ‘being portkeyed to the evil bastard from hell’ Harry didn’t care for them. But it was the quickest way Draco knew to get them here.
Walking in, they were seated quickly, Draco having made reservations well over a month ago. In a quiet dark corner Draco took a look around. This was secluded and perfect.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing, I just had a great day and wanted to spend some time with you.” Draco smiled at Harry who just shook his head.
Ordering and eating they talked Quidditch and new brooms models until they were finishing up desert.
It was now or never. How did those stupid Muggles do it? Got down on one knee, that’s right. Draco had decided that was stupid but now he was wondering if Harry would like it better. Shaking his head slightly at his foolishness he reached inside his pocket and brought out a box. Small and made of cedar he handled it gently. Holding it out to Harry he took the biggest breath he ever had and just asked. He handed Harry his heart and just hoped he was doing the right thing.
Harry smiled big and just answered taking the box from Draco and opening it. Inside were two rings both unadorned bands of silver and Harry tried his on. Draco laughed and it was like a pressure had been released. He was still here, Harry was still here.
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
They were each other’s and now everyone would know.
-fin
You can get the song right here.
And you can watch the video right here