Gift Fic: Essentials of Happiness 2/2
Essentials of Happiness a gift for backinblack
Author: gestaltrose
Title: Essentials of Happiness 2/2
Pairing: Sam/Dean, Jared/Jensen
Rating: Adult, if you are not old enough don't click
Word count: 7600 more or less for this part, 18,700 or so total
Beta My lovely 'biza
Warnings: Plot, lots and lots of plot, oh and there’s some smut. Some J2 which is rps and some Sam/Dean, so incest people, if you don’t like, don’t click.
Disclaimer: This is just a story it came out of my own twisted little mind. It in no way reflects actual things that may or may not have happened with any or all of these people. Sam and Dean belong to Kripke and Jared and Jensen belong to themselves no matter what I wished for Christmas.
Summary: Um an AU bodyswap… kind of. You really need to read it to understand. The Winchester universe is a bit different that the one we watch… hopefully I explained it well
Notes: This was written for spn_holidays. backinblack I hope you like what I came up with.
Part One
Jensen had a bad feeling when Sam got out of the car and it just got worse as he watched what was happening inside. Dean, we need to get in there. He watched everyone in the place stand up.
“Oh fuck,” Dean said and got out of the Impala.
Stop, the holy water. Jensen was glad when Dean immediately got what he meant and snagged it from the trunk. He walked into the diner and with a little trouble and some thrown holy water got Sam out.
Jensen could believe that the ‘world as myth’ was real. Obviously he had no choice. It was either that or he was insane and had somehow dragged Jared into his delusion… or he was just Dean’s delusion. That didn’t feel right. How could he remember his past, his family, Jared? How could all of that be made up by Dean? Not possible so that meant he was real and he needed to find a way home.
The dragon had brought them here to help Sam and Dean with something. They had already told them about the demons and they hadn’t left so there must be something more. Having gone over the memory of Dean’s encounter, all Jensen could think of was that he and Jared were somehow supposed to convince Dean and Sam that they were stronger together.
Of course we are, Dean said to Jensen and Jensen realized he hadn’t been keeping his thoughts to himself, so to speak.
Maybe this was a good time to talk to Dean about it. I meant together together. He could sense Dean’s confusion. Okay, let’s try to reason this out. Jared and I, we are a couple. I love him, he loves me, at least so he says. Anyway, so there is this couple, us, in a different universe than this one. That know about the both of you, hell, they play the both of you so they spend a lot of time in ‘Sam and Dean’ space. So, there is this creature here, and it knows something that you don’t. It knows about the demons, it knows about Sammy. . .
No one calls him Sammy but. . .
You. Jensen interrupted him. I know, he continued, trust me, I know. Jensen was happy that at least Dean was listening. It knows about Sam, and somehow it knows about me and Jared. It knew we were a couple even though we haven’t told hardly anyone in our world. I think, Jensen stopped. This was the point that could make or break this whole thing. I think, we’re supposed to help you.
Help us how? Jensen could feel Dean’s exasperation.
Be together, Jensen told him. If he could have, Jensen would have been holding his breath.
Is that what Jared is telling Sam? Is that why Sam kissed me? Why he’s been giving me those looks? You twisted mother fuckers are playing with us!
Dean, I know why you’re so angry. It’s your feelings that you are so afraid of.
Don’t tell me. . . Dean started but Jensen interrupted him.
Please. Don’t lie to me, you can’t. I’m here. I see it all clearer than you do. Sam was fifteen the first time you thought about him that way, because you came home and found him jacking off. Remember?
Dean ignored him.
Jensen felt Dean look and make sure that those guys hadn’t followed them then he reached over and smacked Sam on the back of the head.
“What was that for?” Sam asked.
“I will say this one more time today, listen carefully. You. Are. An. Idiot. And your passenger is obviously an idiot too. What were you doing in there, Sam? Demons. Fuck, Sam. Demons. What have we got mixed up in?”
“I don’t know, Dean. I’m kinda having a problem wrapping my mind around it too. Why didn’t dad figure it out? If he did. . .” Sam stopped as if he had figured out something and Dean knew what he was thinking.
“You are not something evil, Sammy.”
“But I could be, Dean, you don’t know,” Sam said.
“Don’t know what?”
“That I fight myself or something inside of me that wants to. . .destroy,” Sam whispered. “Sometimes I feel like I’m losing, Dean. Like I have nothing to hold on to.”
“You can hold on to me,” Dean offered and Jensen mentally coughed in disbelief, then he felt bad, the look that Sam gave Dean broke his heart. Hopeful and distant at the same time.
“Really, Dean? I don’t think you mean that.”
Dean drove into the parking lot of the motel. “Sandwiches for dinner,” he said. Sam snorted and opened his door.
“And Sam,” Dean said as he got out and shut his door. “I said it. I meant it.” Walking to the door, he unlocked it and entered.
That night, Sam was sleeping and Dean settled in a chair to watch his brother and to have a conversation with Jensen.
How certain are you? Jensen could feel Dean’s hesitation. It was as if what Sam had said shook something loose inside him.
About what? Jensen asked. About you being attracted to Sam? Or about why Jared and I are here? About the demons? What?
All of it, I suppose. No, not the Sam stuff. What about why you’re here?
Dean, the Sam stuff, as you put it, is part of why we’re here. But, Jensen offered up something palatable to Dean, we are also here about the demons. I cannot believe that you are Dean Winchester yet you know next to nothing about demons.
Tell me about the demons and Sam. . .what is going on. You know, or at least you know more than I do, Dean reluctantly admitted.
Honestly, I’m not sure. They seem to think him some sort of heir apparent.
For who?
In this world, I’m not positive. But in the story back home, he was the heir of the Yellow Eyed Demon.
What? Why? How?
I don’t know how. I’ve got my suspicions but no evidence, not really. But look at what happened today. That Naiad knew something and, while you can’t trust a demon, sometimes they tell the truth… and at that diner they were, odd.
Demons odd, I’ll have to remember that. Dean told him. Let’s say, that I accept that Sam is special. Would it be enough to get you out of my head?
I don’t think so. I think we are also here about the other. . . Jensen trailed off, not wanting to upset Dean but unable to lie to him.
“Jen,” Sam, or rather Jared, called out from the bed. Dean and Jensen watched as he became more and more restless. Suddenly he sat up, eyes open. He looked around the room almost blindly until his eyes landed on Dean. “Jen, thank god. I had the worst fucking dream of my life.”
You gonna let me handle this? Jensen was hoping that Dean would just give in this one time.
No fucking way. Dean wasn’t about to give up control of himself.
You hurt him and I swear I will make you miserable until the day we die. Jensen wasn’t one for making random threats but Jared was his and he was Jared’s and if Dean somehow hurt him, Jensen would make sure he regretted it, forever if need be.
“Jared?” Dean said gently, belying his sharp tone with Jensen.
Something must have come out in Dean’s tone because Jared was suddenly more focused and looking closely at Dean. He seemed to collapse in on himself. Jensen had never seen anyone able to do it like Jared could.
“It wasn’t a dream, was it?” The absolute fatality in Jared’s voice seemed to get to Dean.
Okay, you can talk to him. Dean seemed as surprised by his concession as Jensen was. Then Dean did something and Jensen was in control.
“No, Jay, it wasn’t.”
Jared cocked his head. “Jensen?” His voice was vaguely hopeful.
Nodding, Jensen wasn’t surprised when his arms were suddenly full of his boyfriend. Jared clutched at Jensen like he was drowning and Jensen was the only thing saving him. “Shhh,” Jensen said as he wrapped his arms around Jared and slowly rocked them both.
“But, but,” Jared said into his shirt.
“I know. I know.”
Jared looked up at him with tears in his eyes. “What if we never?”
“We will. We are.”
“But Jen. . .”
“Jared, we will. I promise. We will get home. If I have to find this lizard/-dragon thing and make him send us back, we will.”
Jared nodded slowly. Jensen realized how much he had missed this. Missed holding Jared, Jared holding him. His arms tightened around Jared and the younger man looked at him. Jared seemed to realize that they were together, here, now. They both leaned in and kissed. Mouths open, tongues dancing in their familiar give and take.
Then it changed, Jared became more hesitant than he had been in a long time. Jensen pulled back and tried to stifle his stab of disappointment. Sam, he had been kissing Sam. Sam licked his lips and gave Jensen a sad smile as if he understood Jensen’s sadness. Dean once again emerged and Jensen let himself be pushed aside.
Dean moved back from Sam and Jensen knew he tried to ignore the hurt look on his brother’s face. He cleared his throat and Sam held his hand up to stop Dean from speaking.
“We have to find a way to send them home,” Sam said. “I can’t, I won’t be responsible for keeping them apart. God, Dean, can’t you feel how much they need each other? How much they love each other?”
Dean didn’t even wonder how Sam knew it was him again, though Jensen did. “We will,” Dean echoed Jensen. He moved away from his brother. “When did Ash say he would call?”
“As soon as he had news,” Sam replied just as his phone rang. Their eyes met and Sam looked down at his phone. Jensen just knew it was Ash.
“Hey, Ash. What? Where? We’re in Oklahoma, Dude. Can’t you meet us? Great, where?” Sam dug out a map and was checking it over. “Hey, how about that place in Kansas where Dad and Bobby had that great corn they always talk about… it was in ’71 or ’70 and you can never get them to shut up about it. Okay, 1:35 it is, see you there tomorrow, Ash.”
Dean looked at Sam with a raised eyebrow. “He thought the line was being bugged. We just agreed to meet in Salina, Kansas off of 135 and Interstate 70. In,” he stopped and looked at his watch. “Five hours, so we should get going.”
Dean threw his stuff in his duffle and Jensen thought it was cute how he made sure his teddy was securely stored at the bottom. Sam and Dean set up a quick ritual that Jensen didn’t know but, whatever it was, he understood it was supposed to clear the room of their presence. Sam burnt a little white sage and some pine, making sure that it went around both of them and Jensen watched as both Dean and Sam inhaled the smoke.
They had never done anything like this. Why did you do that?
For once Dean answered without his attitude. Dad figured it all out. Once he was tracked through five states by a witch who thought he had killed her sister. Once they got straightened out, dad had tried to save her sister but he had been too slow. Anyway, she showed him this, Dean nodded to Sam who was making sure that the doorways and windows had been covered in the smoke. It is a cleansing ritual. Sam changed the ingredients a bit, but it has worked. Even the things we hunt can’t track us after we do this, unless we screw up and leave something behind. Dean finished explaining as Sam finished what he was doing.
The brothers looked at one another and in mirror image they grabbed their bags and headed out the door. Sam shut it quickly behind him, leaving most of the smoke inside. The boys got into the Impala and Dean headed out of town. It was two in the morning; they would be getting to Salina about sunrise.
“I’ve been thinking,” Sam said and Dean and Jensen both flinched though one was purely psychological. The worst things usually happened after someone said, ‘I’ve been thinking.’
Sighing, Dean glanced at Sam. In the darkness, only being lit up by the occasional street light, Dean couldn’t read his expression, Jensen could tell by the feelings. “’kay, and?” Dean said after a bit.
“World as myth could mean that someone is writing this right now.”
Jensen hadn’t considered it, but it was true, he supposed. But again, he had already come to terms with Sam and Dean being real yet fictional, why should he be any different. Doesn’t matter, what is real is real. The author has no more control over the story than we do. Jensen told Dean.
What does that mean? If someone is writing this then they know the outcome… they have to. Dean was certain.
No, they don’t. I’ve spent enough time around writers to know that the characters can take on a life of their own, things surprise them, characters die or live all seemingly random when it is more like self determination on the part of the characters. Jensen told him. It was true, how many times had he had the feeling that ‘Dean’ wouldn’t do something or say something and he would talk with the writer and usually they would agree, then say that they had started to write it differently the first time.
He knew one thing, he would be going home. Author or not, lizard or not, he had promised Jared.
Dean talked about what Jensen had shared with him and Sam listened, not raising one objection. Which truly surprised Jensen. But then again, he saw as they crossed into Kansas, it was an ungodly hour in the morning.
“Sleep, Sam,” Dean said.
*********
Jared knew the moment Sam fell asleep. Having been an unwelcomed guest in Sam’s body, Jared wiggled his toes. Moving slowly enough that he didn’t wake Sam yet still managing to roll so that if he opened his eyes he could see Jensen -- well, Dean -- but in the darkness of the Impala, Jared could pretend.
The miles and the hours went by. Sam started to wake up as Dean slowed the car, getting ready to get off the interstate. Jared retreated to the corner of Sam’s head that he called his.
“Where do we get off?” Dean asked and Jared snickered.
“Second exit. The first Denny’s you come to,” Sam told him. What in the hell is so funny? Apparently Jared wasn’t as quiet as he thought.
Just trying to find some humor in the moment, Jared told Sam. Sorry, I always seem to revert to some kind of twelve year old with a dirty mind when I’m under stress.
What?
Please. Where do we get off? Anywhere works for me. Jared snickered and Sam snorted, which got him a look from Dean.
Sam waved his hands. Jared knew he wasn’t going to tell Dean. They pulled off the road and into the parking lot of Denny’s. Jared had always wondered what Ash would drive. A late model Ford hadn’t been on his list, he thought, as Ash stepped out of the dark blue car.
The similarities between Ash and Chad, the guy who played Ash like he and Jensen played Sam and Dean was uncanny. Ash had Chad’s walk down or Chad had nailed Ash’s from the beginning. Ash strolled unconcerned up to the Impala. Handing Dean a folder, he glanced around to see if anyone was nearby.
“What have you guys gotten into? It’s all there, weather patterns, crop failures, deaths, disappearances of people who were born the same day as Sammy here, family deaths, fire.” He pointed at the file. “Something big is coming; this mess has your dad’s name written all over it. He was always looking for this. How did you guys come up with this now?”
“We just got a head’s up from some people,” Dean said.
“No one else has even spotted this. They must be trying to stay under the radar. You guys take it easy, if whatever you are hunting knows, you are in danger. Shit, for that matter so am I.” Ash glanced around again. “Stay safe, Ellen ‘ll kick my ass if anything happens to you.”
Sam leaned across Dean to talk to Ash. “Tell Ellen to be careful, too.”
Ash nodded. “Already have. Later.” He gave a half wave and headed back to the car.
“Hey, Ash. Who’s car?” Dean asked as Ash walked away.
“This fine thing?” Ash smirked. “It’s Jo’s. I ‘borrowed’ it. I expect she’ll wanna kick my ass when I get back.”
“Better you than me,” Dean said and started up the Impala. Sam hadn’t quite moved back into his space when he had finished talking with Ash and Dean looked at him. Sam found himself staring and if they hadn’t been in a Denny’s parking lot Jared would have encouraged Sam to follow up on the looks.
Later, Sam. Ask for the folder, Jared told him. Sam apparently agreed because he asked Dean for the folder and the moment passed.
Sam and Jared examined the folder, Sam asking questions and Jared pointing things out. Sam quickly picked up the pattern.
“What?” Dean asked after Sam made some noise.
“I’m the only one left.”
“The only one what?” Dean seemed thoroughly confused and then he got that look on his face that he got when he was listening to Jensen. “How many others were there?”
Sam picked out a spreadsheet that Ash had created. “Hundreds to start with. Many of them died in childhood. Then recently. . .Andy, remember Andy?”
“Like I could forget him. He got his hands on my baby.” Dean ran a hand over the dash.
“And Ava?”
“That bitch?”
“You didn’t think so when you were fucking her.” Jared could feel Sam roll his eyes at his brother. “Turns out some hunter has been picking all of these guys off one by one.”
“Ash say who?”
“Only four are good enough and two of those are dead. That leaves Gordon Walker and Steve Wandell.”
“Wandell’s dead,” Dean said, his tone flat.
Jared wondered for a moment if Wandell had died in this universe the same way he had died in the storyline back home. If he did, why didn’t Sam know? Jared worried for a moment that Sam had picked up on what he had thought.
“That leaves Walker. The last one, Scott Carey. . .was killed a week ago. If he tracked all of these down. Dean, he’s probably after me.”
“I’ll take care of Walker if he shows up.” Dean’s voice was even more flat, if that was possible.
“What is going on, Dean? What happened to Wandell?” Sam asked.
“Wandell’s dead. That’s all you need to know, Sam.”
“Don’t treat me as though I’m five. If you won’t tell me, I’ll ask Jared and he sure as hell can’t lie to me. Maybe it isn’t the same thing but it might be close enough.”
Dean appeared to talk with Jensen again then he reluctantly nodded.
“Fine, Sam, you want to know? You killed Wandell.”
“Ha, Ha. Very funny. What really happened, you accidentally kill him?”
“No, Sam. You were possessed and you killed him.” Dean reached over and pushed Sam’s sleeve up. “I had to get you to Bobby’s and trick the thing in you to get into the Devil’s trap. It had locked itself inside you; I had to break the seal to get it to leave.”
Sam stared in disbelief at Dean. He remembered waking up at Bobby’s with a tattoo and burn on his arm. Dean and Bobby both swore he had been sick. Possession, Demons. . . Jared could feel Sam’s rage building.
Sam, they were scared. They wanted to protect you. Jared tried to calm him down.
But if we had talked about it, we might have figured this out long ago. What gave them the right to not tell me? Sam asked him.
He was avoiding the real subject here. Jared wasn’t sure what was going to happen when he brought it up. Maybe this should wait until they found some place to stop for the night? Damn, he wished he could talk with Jensen, he would have worked out exactly how to calm Sam down.
Dean reached over and put his hand on Sam’s arm. “I’m sorry.”
With those words, Sam’s rage drained away, leaving sadness and sorrow in its wake. Sam turned and looked out the window. He didn’t say anything as Dean drove throughout the day and into the night. Nothing as he pulled into a motel and told him he was going to get a room.
The only reaction he gave Dean was when he walked into the room and saw the single queen sized bed.
“Last room,” Dean spoke from behind him. Sam shrugged and dropped, fully dressed onto one side of the bed, curling in on himself.
“I’m going to get some food.” Dean paused. “Want anything?”
Sam ignored him and finally Dean just left.
You fucking happy? Jared asked Sam after waiting to see if he was going to get out of his funk on his own.
Leave me alone, Sam told him.
No, I won’t. You want someone to feel sorry for you? I won’t. Hell, I can’t.
You never killed anyone, did you?
Neither have you, idiot. Jared said. You were possessed. Don’t you listen? You obviously don’t remember what happened, how does that make you responsible?
Sam didn’t answer him but he seemed to listen. The last thing Jared wanted was a self-destructive Sam on his hands. Maybe it was time to bring up his idea. It would get Sam out of worrying about this and onto worrying about it.
Just tell me, you’re giving me a headache, Sam told him.
I think I’ve worked out how Jen and I can go home. I mean, we’ve told you about the demons. You believe us. I think it is the together thing. . .
Not this again. Listen and listen to me closely, Jared. Dean does not want me, not that way, Sam told him.
Asked him, have you?
“You know I haven’t,” Sam said out loud just as Dean walked back into the room.
“Haven’t what?” Dean asked. He seemed pretty happy that Sam was talking.
Ask him! Jared insisted. If you don’t, I will.
Fine! Sam told him. “Dean, will you please tell this idiot in my head that you don’t want me, that you never have. God, I can’t believe I even said that.”
Dean didn’t say anything. He turned and made sure that the door was locked and dead bolted before he turned back around and looked at Sam. Jared could feel how uncertain Sam suddenly was. He had been positive that Dean would ‘of course’ deny it.
Dean walked over and looked down at Sam sitting on the bed. “I. . .” he started, his face in shadow, so that neither Sam nor Jared could read his expression. “I,” he took a deep breath and finished, “can’t.”
“If this is because of that idiot that you have in your head,” Sam threatened.
“It’s not. Sammy, you sure you want to talk about this?” Dean offered him a way out that Sam refused to take.
“Dean, I need to know.”
Sighing, Dean ran a hand through his hair. He motioned for Sam to scoot over and Sam did it. Dean looked out at the room, definitely not looking at Sam. “When you were seventeen, Dad caught me looking at your ass.” He swallowed, and then it seemed he almost had to force out what he said next.
“Dad said I had two choices.” Dean paused for so long that both Sam and Jared though he might not continue.
“One, I could pull my shit together and never let you even suspect that I felt that way.” This time Dean stopped talking for long enough that Sam had to ask.
“What was the other choice?”
“Oh, that I could leave. Sammy, that just wasn’t an option,” Dean said. “I understood why you left. I can’t tell you how much I regret dragging you back into this.”
“Did I ever tell you why Dad pushed me to go to college?” Sam asked. Dean shook his head. Sam blushed and ducked his head. “He walked in on me jacking off, and just before I came.” Sam paused and Jared could feel how embarrassed he had been. Seventeen getting caught jacking off by your father was bad enough, getting caught saying your brother’s name took the embarrassment to a whole new level of ‘I wish I were dead rather than here’.
“Yeah?” Dean asked.
“I said. . . I said. . .” Sam was so embarrassed that his ears felt hot. “I said your name.”
“So all this time?” Dean asked and Sam nodded. “And you want?”
“Always have, Dean. You just pushed me away so hard.”
“Jessica?”
“I loved her, but I loved you first,” Sam said.
“You don’t think this is just because of,” Dean asked, as if he feared the answer, “Jensen and Jared?”
Sam shook his head. “How can it be, I’ve felt like this forever. What about you?”
Dean leaned slowly towards Sam, his gaze on Sam’s face. Hope and desire in his eyes, his lips parted and Sam couldn’t take his eyes off of Dean’s. Sam’s eyes closed just before Dean’s lips touched his.
Sighing, Sam parted his lips and let his tongue seek out Dean’s. They both groaned as the kiss deepened and Sam felt the sound go straight to his cock. Reaching up, he threaded his fingers through Dean’s short hair. Hardly believing his luck, their kisses became more and more frantic.
Dean pulled back and kissed down Sam’s neck. Tilting his head back to allow Dean more access, Sam opened his eyes and stared unseeing at the ceiling. Dean ran a hand up his shirt and he couldn’t stop his hips from canting up and Dean chuckled at him.
“Dean,” Sam said and his voice turned to a moan as Dean slid his hand down and covered Sam’s denim-enclosed cock. Suddenly Sam found himself pulled up, Dean’s hands at his pants. Sam slid his hands in and unbuttoned his jeans and let them fall to the floor, just as Dean’s hit the ground. Stepping out of his jeans, Sam felt suddenly awkward.
“It’s okay, Sammy. We don’t have to.” Dean looked up at him. “Nothing, we don’t have to do anything you don’t.” Dean was stopped by a hand to his mouth.
“I don’t know what I want to do, but I know I want to do it with you,” Sam said and Dean nodded.
Sam was surprised when Dean pushed him back on the bed. Then his brother climbed on top of him. Pushing Sam’s shirt up and kissing the skin as it was revealed. Licking and biting on Sam’s nipples almost bucking Dean off of him as desire shot through his body. Dean moved up and attacked his neck and collarbone, sucking on Sam’s skin until he left a chain of marks across his chest and left Sam writhing underneath him.
Pulling Dean up so that he could kiss him, Sam felt Dean’s erection pressing against his stomach. Sam moved so that Dean and his cocks could rub. And then Dean was grinding down against him and kissing him until he forgot to breathe. The excitement of Dean wanting to be with him suddenly overwhelmed him and he pushed up and cried out Dean’s name as he came.
Dean seemed to be waiting for him because within moments he was pressed tight against Sam and Sam felt a warm wetness. “Sammy,” Dean breathed out his name like a prayer.
Feeling a sudden lassitude come over him, Sam knew he would have to move before he fell asleep. Dean was almost a dead weight against him and while Sam was more than willing to be Dean’s pillow, he needed a shower and so did his brother. Dean seemed to realize the same thing because he was off of Sam and pulling him to his feet.
Sam walked to the bathroom and stripped out of his t-shirt and soggy underwear. He couldn’t say if he was disappointed or relieved when Dean didn’t follow him in. Quickly, Sam started the shower and stepped in. Washing with one ear cocked to the door, half hoping that Dean would join him. When he didn’t, Sam hurried so that Dean could get cleaned up.
Stepping out of the shower, Sam grabbed a towel just like hundreds of times before and snagged his dirty clothes off of the floor. He dropped them into a pile with his jeans and kicked them to the side. While Sam waited for Dean to get done he was again uncomfortable being naked. Getting some clean underwear out of his duffel, Sam slipped into them and then into bed.
Dean came out of the bathroom and Sam looked at him, he didn’t need Jared pointing out how exhausted he looked, they had been going and going, Dean more than him. Suddenly Sam was hit with a vision.
He was outside the window looking in at Dean. He couldn’t tell what had been going on but if he didn’t know better, sex had happened. But then again, Sam Winchester was the spawn of evil. Fornicating with your brother was just a drop in the bucket, he was sure.
Knowing that together they were stronger, he needed to take out Dean before he could kill Sam. The boys were hard to track, he had just lucked out and pulled into the motel and then had seen the Impala. It hadn’t taken too much work to figure out which room was theirs. He pulled the gun up and aimed it at Dean’s heart.
Jared pulled Sam out of the vision. It was happening now. “Dean. Down!” Sam yelled though his head felt like it was splitting apart. It was a show of just how much they trusted one another when Dean immediately dropped to the floor moments before a bullet pierced the window and the wall behind him.
“Sam?” Dean called out.
“He’s still out there. It’s Walker.” Sam said as Dean crawled across the floor to the bag that held their guns. “Manager’s called the cops by now.” Just then the phone rang. They both ignored it. Then Dean’s cell went off.
Dean looked at the caller ID and then looked at Sam in disbelief. “Yeah?” he said. “No. Gordon, you can go to hell.” Dean held the phone a bit away from his ear as Walker yelled at him. “You think so? Guess we’ll meet you there then.” Dean shut his phone.
“We’ve got to get out of here,” he said unnecessarily as Sam had already crawled and got his bag. He managed to get into some sweats and a tee and he tossed the same to Dean. It was always hard to fight naked. Zipping the bag after stuffing everything into it, Sam flinched as Dean cocked his gun. “Head?” and Sam made a slight movement of agreement. His head was killing him as usual after a vision.
They got out a back window and stole someone’s Corsica. It nearly killed Dean to leave his baby but he knew they would be back for her. Parking where they could see the front of the motel, they saw the cops show up, search an empty room and call a tow truck for the Impala. After the police left and before the tow truck showed up, they watched as a tall black man slipped into the room. Sam made a quick phone call and then they watched him pull out his cell phone.
Dean’s phone vibrated because he had turned off the ringer and he flipped it open. “Yeah?” he said again. He listened and Sam and Jared could hear him describing what he was going to do to Sam when he got him. Sam looked at Dean and how emotionless his face was growing. “Keep it up Walker and I will take you out.”
“I’d like to see you try. Dean, you know the name of Winchester used to stand for something. How proud would your dad be of you knowing that you’re fucking your evil little brother? Did he promise you something? Evil lies, Dean, it always lies.”
Dean stayed calm and just listened, letting Walker ramble on. Watching as the police surrounded the room. They busted in the front door and Walker tried to make a break around back but thanks to Sam the cops were there too. They watched as Walker set his gun down on the ground and raised his hands in surrender.
In the confusion of the arrest and everything, Dean slipped down and after the last cruiser pulled out of the parking lot, just as the tow truck turned onto the road that led to the motel, Dean slid behind the steering wheel of the Impala and drove his baby out of there. Meeting up with Sam on a side road where he had ditched the Corsica.
Driving for two hours, Dean called it good and pulled into another motel. Sam was sleeping against the window and Dean got the room and their stuff inside before he woke his brother. “Come on, Sammy.”
“Jen?” Jared said.
“I’m here, Jay,” Dean said. “Let’s get to bed.” He pulled Jared out of the car.
“Bed’s good,” Jared mumbled as Dean maneuvered him into the motel room. He got him into bed and lay down beside him. Jared or Sam rolled over and engulfed him in a hug, leg over his arm across his chest. Dean felt approval coming from Jensen as he let exhaustion claim him.
Sunshine shining in his eyes woke him up. The motel faced west, and the evening sun shone through the curtains. Dean blinked and checked the time. Five in the afternoon. His stomach rumbled and told him it was past time to eat.
Sam laughed at him. Dean turned to see him sitting at the table with a burger in front of him. “Yours is in the bag. Don’t look at me like that, I tried to wake you up.” He suddenly got a wicked grin on his face. “Did you know that if you’re tired enough you can sleep though a blow job?”
Dean was shocked for a moment, then he smiled. “I don’t think it’s possible to sleep that soundly. Tell Jared that I think he’s very funny.”
“How did you know it was Jared?”
“Sammy, how often do you talk about blowjobs? Besides, you get this look on your face when he talks to you.”
I’m sure you do too. Jensen told him.
I’m sure I do too. I’m just not sure Sam’s that observant.
If he isn’t then Jared. . . Just then Sam spoke up and told Dean that he was talking to Jensen. is.
Dean gave his brother a grin and poked him. “Now you owe me a blow job.”
“What?”
Grabbing his cock, Dean rubbed it suggestively.
“Don’t you want to eat?” Sam sounded nervous.
“Come here, Sam,” Dean directed him. Sam pushed away from the table and walked over to where Dean lay on the bed. They looked at one another and then, for a moment , Sam had the absent ‘talking with Jared’ look on his face. Sam knelt beside him on the bed. Dean watched as Sam reached out and grabbed his waistband. Dean lifted his hips so that Sam could slip his sweats down. His semi-hard cock sprang free and Sam eyed it like a treat. Dean wondered what he and Jared had talked about.
Then his cock was being engulfed down to the base and Dean had to clutch the bedspread so as not to grab Sam’s head. Sam backed off and sucked on the tip of his cock, running his tongue around the head and then sucking him back down. Dean groaned and Sam did too. Vibrations running up his cock, making his balls tighten. Trying to think of anything but what Sam was doing, Dean wanted this to last but the noises that Sam was making made it impossible for him to hold out for long.
“Sammmmyyy,” Dean said and tried to pull his brother off of him before he came, but Sam wouldn’t be moved. He just went at it with a little more vigor, he deep throated Dean again and Dean watched as his cock disappeared into Sam’s mouth and that was all it took, he was coming. Sam sucked him until it was just this side of painful, then he released Dean’s softening cock with a pop. Smacking his lips as he moved to kiss Dean, he licked his lips before leaning down to lick at Dean’s.
“Good?” Sam asked as he pulled back.
“Ung…” Dean responded.
“I’ll take that as a yes. Now, let’s eat.”
Dean’s stomach chose that moment to rumble again. “See, your tummy agrees with me,” Sam said and held a hand out to Dean to help him off the bed.
Letting Sam help him up, Dean pulled his sweats up with a kind of absentmindedness and wandered over to the table. He stood and stared at the food like he wasn’t sure what to do with it. There was no way Sam had just given him the best blow job he had ever had in his life. He picked up a french fry and ate it still staring down at the food.
“Dean?” Sam asked, his voice hesitant and Dean looked at him. “Sit?”
Looking at the chair, he moved and sat down. Grabbing a burger out of the bag he took a bite, unknowingly staring at Sam. “Dean?” The worry in Sam’s voice made Dean focus on him.
“I’m okay. Better than okay. Sam that was. . .” Dean stopped out of words for once.
“Horrid?” Sam whispered, his eyes wide with worry.
“No, no no. Fucking amazing. Sam, where did you learn to do that?”
Sam blushed and Dean suddenly got it. “Jared.” He got a nod in agreement.
That’s what you get? Dean asked.
That and more. Jared is amazing. I bet Sam is too, Jensen told him.
Dean felt himself growing hard again at the thought of being with Sam. He took another bite of his burger. He didn’t notice how quiet Sam grew. Finishing the last bite he looked across the table at his brother, who was looking down at the table, a dejected look on his face.
“What?” Dean asked and Sam just shook his head. Dean kicked him under the table and Sam looked up at him, his eyes bright with unshed tears. What the hell?
“What?” he asked again, a little more gently.
“You’d rather be with Jared,” Sam said and Dean looked at him like he had grown another head.
“What?” Dean couldn’t help sounding like a broken record. He couldn’t understand what Sam was thinking.
“I learned how to give head from Jared. If we have sex I’ll have him helping me with that too… you should just be with him.” Sam’s voice was even teary.
“For christ’s sake, Sam. I learned to kiss from Suzy Buchanan in the fifth grade. It doesn’t mean you want to kiss her, does it?”
“Not the same.”
“Yes, you idiot. It is. Doesn’t matter where or how you learn as long as it’s you. Sammy.” Dean had moved over in between Sam’s legs. “You are the one I want. You are the one I’ve wanted for so long that I can’t believe that you want me.”
Sam pulled him down into a kiss. “I do want you,” he murmured against Dean’s lips and Dean lost whatever control he had as he ravaged Sam’s mouth, stopping only when he tasted blood.
Pulling back, Dean looked at Sam with his lips all swollen and felt his desire grow even more. He got Sam to his feet and led him to the bed. Kissing him gently, Dean went and dug in his duffel until he found the lube. He walked back over to Sam, who was watching him closely.
“Lube,” he said as he sat down on the bed. He was kind of hoping he wasn’t going to have to explain what the lube was for. He wasn’t sure how much Sam knew.
Sam smiled at him and put his hand over the bottle. “I can prepare, you don’t have to.”
‘But I want to’ died on his lips as Jensen suggested something. Tell him you want to watch. Leaning back a bit, he gave Sam an encouraging smile. “I wanna watch.”
“Dean,” Sam sounded taken aback. “Really?”
“If you’ll let me.”
Sam must have made up his mind because he smiled and flipped open the lid of the lube.
He’s been talking with Jared again, you had better be ready for this, Jensen warned him and he peaked Dean’s interest.
Sam stripped and lay down in front of Dean. He flipped the bottle open and squirted some of the lube into his left hand. He then slid one finger around and around in it like he was tracing the lines on his palm. The he lifted one leg and slid his hand down his thigh until his finger was at his entrance which he circled with his lubed up finger and pressed against his tight hole put didn’t press in.
Bringing his hand back up, he got more lube on his finger and once again circled his hole, his eyes on Dean. Dean, who had his hands down his pants and was barely controlling the urge to push Sam’s hand aside and push his cock into that tight hole. He held his breath as Sam pushed harder yet still didn’t breach the tight ring of muscle. Moaning as it finally slipped inside him, Dean stood and started stripping. Sam smiled and lay his head back.
Pulling his finger out, he slicked two of them up and, listening to his tutor, pushed out as he pushed in, his fingers slid in. Sam began to move them inside, fucking himself with them and Dean couldn’t look away, he stroked his cock in time with Sam’s movements. Dean knew the moment Sam touched his prostate, his cock jumped nicely and his eyes rolled back into his head. Dean groaned.
“What?” Sam asked out loud but his companion appeared to answer him because he got this grin on his face and pushed his fingers in again. Dean groaned when Sam did and his other hand slid down to his balls, he rolled them as he watched Sam fuck himself with his fingers. Then he pulled them out with a pop.
He got some more lube on them, only this time it was three and Dean was moaning even before Sam pushed them in. Sam’s fingers slid into him as Dean watched, thinking that this was torture. He pulled down on his balls to stop himself from coming as Sam moaned and pushed in four fingers.
“Sam,” Dean was whining this time and Sam was looking thoroughly debauched with lube running down his ass and all Dean could think about was pushing his dick inside his brother. Sam seemed to read his mind.
Pulling his fingers out, he looked at Dean with his crooked smile and his dimples flashing. “Fuck me, Dean, please.”
He didn’t need to be asked twice, he moved to position himself between his brother’s legs. Placing his cock at Sam’s well lubed entrance, he started to push in. Stopping with just his head in, he looked at Sam to see how he was doing. Dean felt Sam relax around him and Dean pushed all the way in.
Suddenly Jensen was in control but he wasn’t fucking Sam, he was making love to Jared. Don’t ask him how he knew, he just did. It felt so good, he leaned down to kiss his boyfriend. “Love you, Jay.”
Jared kissed him back. “Love you too, Jen,” Jared told him. And then they were gone.
Dean just knew that Jensen had left and, by the look on Sam’s face, Jared was gone too. Then Sam tightened around Dean and Dean began to move. He took a hint from Jensen and made love to Sam. Kissing him and slowly moving until Sam was begging him to go faster and harder. Dean graciously complied. He pounded into his brother over and over, reaching between them he had barely touched Sam’s cock and Sam was coming. The sight of the pearly fluids splashing on Sam’s chest and the way Sam’s ass clamped down on his cock had Dean coming soon after.
He slid out of Sam and rolled beside him. Pulling the bedspread over the both of them Dean curled around his brother. This is where he belonged, no matter what. Sam’s breathing evened out and Dean whispered how much he loved him into his messy hair.
“Love you too, Dean.” And that said it all.
The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. ---ALLAN K. CHALMERS
Author: gestaltrose
Title: Essentials of Happiness 2/2
Pairing: Sam/Dean, Jared/Jensen
Rating: Adult, if you are not old enough don't click
Word count: 7600 more or less for this part, 18,700 or so total
Beta My lovely 'biza
Warnings: Plot, lots and lots of plot, oh and there’s some smut. Some J2 which is rps and some Sam/Dean, so incest people, if you don’t like, don’t click.
Disclaimer: This is just a story it came out of my own twisted little mind. It in no way reflects actual things that may or may not have happened with any or all of these people. Sam and Dean belong to Kripke and Jared and Jensen belong to themselves no matter what I wished for Christmas.
Summary: Um an AU bodyswap… kind of. You really need to read it to understand. The Winchester universe is a bit different that the one we watch… hopefully I explained it well
Notes: This was written for spn_holidays. backinblack I hope you like what I came up with.
Part One
Jensen had a bad feeling when Sam got out of the car and it just got worse as he watched what was happening inside. Dean, we need to get in there. He watched everyone in the place stand up.
“Oh fuck,” Dean said and got out of the Impala.
Stop, the holy water. Jensen was glad when Dean immediately got what he meant and snagged it from the trunk. He walked into the diner and with a little trouble and some thrown holy water got Sam out.
Jensen could believe that the ‘world as myth’ was real. Obviously he had no choice. It was either that or he was insane and had somehow dragged Jared into his delusion… or he was just Dean’s delusion. That didn’t feel right. How could he remember his past, his family, Jared? How could all of that be made up by Dean? Not possible so that meant he was real and he needed to find a way home.
The dragon had brought them here to help Sam and Dean with something. They had already told them about the demons and they hadn’t left so there must be something more. Having gone over the memory of Dean’s encounter, all Jensen could think of was that he and Jared were somehow supposed to convince Dean and Sam that they were stronger together.
Of course we are, Dean said to Jensen and Jensen realized he hadn’t been keeping his thoughts to himself, so to speak.
Maybe this was a good time to talk to Dean about it. I meant together together. He could sense Dean’s confusion. Okay, let’s try to reason this out. Jared and I, we are a couple. I love him, he loves me, at least so he says. Anyway, so there is this couple, us, in a different universe than this one. That know about the both of you, hell, they play the both of you so they spend a lot of time in ‘Sam and Dean’ space. So, there is this creature here, and it knows something that you don’t. It knows about the demons, it knows about Sammy. . .
No one calls him Sammy but. . .
You. Jensen interrupted him. I know, he continued, trust me, I know. Jensen was happy that at least Dean was listening. It knows about Sam, and somehow it knows about me and Jared. It knew we were a couple even though we haven’t told hardly anyone in our world. I think, Jensen stopped. This was the point that could make or break this whole thing. I think, we’re supposed to help you.
Help us how? Jensen could feel Dean’s exasperation.
Be together, Jensen told him. If he could have, Jensen would have been holding his breath.
Is that what Jared is telling Sam? Is that why Sam kissed me? Why he’s been giving me those looks? You twisted mother fuckers are playing with us!
Dean, I know why you’re so angry. It’s your feelings that you are so afraid of.
Don’t tell me. . . Dean started but Jensen interrupted him.
Please. Don’t lie to me, you can’t. I’m here. I see it all clearer than you do. Sam was fifteen the first time you thought about him that way, because you came home and found him jacking off. Remember?
Dean ignored him.
Jensen felt Dean look and make sure that those guys hadn’t followed them then he reached over and smacked Sam on the back of the head.
“What was that for?” Sam asked.
“I will say this one more time today, listen carefully. You. Are. An. Idiot. And your passenger is obviously an idiot too. What were you doing in there, Sam? Demons. Fuck, Sam. Demons. What have we got mixed up in?”
“I don’t know, Dean. I’m kinda having a problem wrapping my mind around it too. Why didn’t dad figure it out? If he did. . .” Sam stopped as if he had figured out something and Dean knew what he was thinking.
“You are not something evil, Sammy.”
“But I could be, Dean, you don’t know,” Sam said.
“Don’t know what?”
“That I fight myself or something inside of me that wants to. . .destroy,” Sam whispered. “Sometimes I feel like I’m losing, Dean. Like I have nothing to hold on to.”
“You can hold on to me,” Dean offered and Jensen mentally coughed in disbelief, then he felt bad, the look that Sam gave Dean broke his heart. Hopeful and distant at the same time.
“Really, Dean? I don’t think you mean that.”
Dean drove into the parking lot of the motel. “Sandwiches for dinner,” he said. Sam snorted and opened his door.
“And Sam,” Dean said as he got out and shut his door. “I said it. I meant it.” Walking to the door, he unlocked it and entered.
That night, Sam was sleeping and Dean settled in a chair to watch his brother and to have a conversation with Jensen.
How certain are you? Jensen could feel Dean’s hesitation. It was as if what Sam had said shook something loose inside him.
About what? Jensen asked. About you being attracted to Sam? Or about why Jared and I are here? About the demons? What?
All of it, I suppose. No, not the Sam stuff. What about why you’re here?
Dean, the Sam stuff, as you put it, is part of why we’re here. But, Jensen offered up something palatable to Dean, we are also here about the demons. I cannot believe that you are Dean Winchester yet you know next to nothing about demons.
Tell me about the demons and Sam. . .what is going on. You know, or at least you know more than I do, Dean reluctantly admitted.
Honestly, I’m not sure. They seem to think him some sort of heir apparent.
For who?
In this world, I’m not positive. But in the story back home, he was the heir of the Yellow Eyed Demon.
What? Why? How?
I don’t know how. I’ve got my suspicions but no evidence, not really. But look at what happened today. That Naiad knew something and, while you can’t trust a demon, sometimes they tell the truth… and at that diner they were, odd.
Demons odd, I’ll have to remember that. Dean told him. Let’s say, that I accept that Sam is special. Would it be enough to get you out of my head?
I don’t think so. I think we are also here about the other. . . Jensen trailed off, not wanting to upset Dean but unable to lie to him.
“Jen,” Sam, or rather Jared, called out from the bed. Dean and Jensen watched as he became more and more restless. Suddenly he sat up, eyes open. He looked around the room almost blindly until his eyes landed on Dean. “Jen, thank god. I had the worst fucking dream of my life.”
You gonna let me handle this? Jensen was hoping that Dean would just give in this one time.
No fucking way. Dean wasn’t about to give up control of himself.
You hurt him and I swear I will make you miserable until the day we die. Jensen wasn’t one for making random threats but Jared was his and he was Jared’s and if Dean somehow hurt him, Jensen would make sure he regretted it, forever if need be.
“Jared?” Dean said gently, belying his sharp tone with Jensen.
Something must have come out in Dean’s tone because Jared was suddenly more focused and looking closely at Dean. He seemed to collapse in on himself. Jensen had never seen anyone able to do it like Jared could.
“It wasn’t a dream, was it?” The absolute fatality in Jared’s voice seemed to get to Dean.
Okay, you can talk to him. Dean seemed as surprised by his concession as Jensen was. Then Dean did something and Jensen was in control.
“No, Jay, it wasn’t.”
Jared cocked his head. “Jensen?” His voice was vaguely hopeful.
Nodding, Jensen wasn’t surprised when his arms were suddenly full of his boyfriend. Jared clutched at Jensen like he was drowning and Jensen was the only thing saving him. “Shhh,” Jensen said as he wrapped his arms around Jared and slowly rocked them both.
“But, but,” Jared said into his shirt.
“I know. I know.”
Jared looked up at him with tears in his eyes. “What if we never?”
“We will. We are.”
“But Jen. . .”
“Jared, we will. I promise. We will get home. If I have to find this lizard/-dragon thing and make him send us back, we will.”
Jared nodded slowly. Jensen realized how much he had missed this. Missed holding Jared, Jared holding him. His arms tightened around Jared and the younger man looked at him. Jared seemed to realize that they were together, here, now. They both leaned in and kissed. Mouths open, tongues dancing in their familiar give and take.
Then it changed, Jared became more hesitant than he had been in a long time. Jensen pulled back and tried to stifle his stab of disappointment. Sam, he had been kissing Sam. Sam licked his lips and gave Jensen a sad smile as if he understood Jensen’s sadness. Dean once again emerged and Jensen let himself be pushed aside.
Dean moved back from Sam and Jensen knew he tried to ignore the hurt look on his brother’s face. He cleared his throat and Sam held his hand up to stop Dean from speaking.
“We have to find a way to send them home,” Sam said. “I can’t, I won’t be responsible for keeping them apart. God, Dean, can’t you feel how much they need each other? How much they love each other?”
Dean didn’t even wonder how Sam knew it was him again, though Jensen did. “We will,” Dean echoed Jensen. He moved away from his brother. “When did Ash say he would call?”
“As soon as he had news,” Sam replied just as his phone rang. Their eyes met and Sam looked down at his phone. Jensen just knew it was Ash.
“Hey, Ash. What? Where? We’re in Oklahoma, Dude. Can’t you meet us? Great, where?” Sam dug out a map and was checking it over. “Hey, how about that place in Kansas where Dad and Bobby had that great corn they always talk about… it was in ’71 or ’70 and you can never get them to shut up about it. Okay, 1:35 it is, see you there tomorrow, Ash.”
Dean looked at Sam with a raised eyebrow. “He thought the line was being bugged. We just agreed to meet in Salina, Kansas off of 135 and Interstate 70. In,” he stopped and looked at his watch. “Five hours, so we should get going.”
Dean threw his stuff in his duffle and Jensen thought it was cute how he made sure his teddy was securely stored at the bottom. Sam and Dean set up a quick ritual that Jensen didn’t know but, whatever it was, he understood it was supposed to clear the room of their presence. Sam burnt a little white sage and some pine, making sure that it went around both of them and Jensen watched as both Dean and Sam inhaled the smoke.
They had never done anything like this. Why did you do that?
For once Dean answered without his attitude. Dad figured it all out. Once he was tracked through five states by a witch who thought he had killed her sister. Once they got straightened out, dad had tried to save her sister but he had been too slow. Anyway, she showed him this, Dean nodded to Sam who was making sure that the doorways and windows had been covered in the smoke. It is a cleansing ritual. Sam changed the ingredients a bit, but it has worked. Even the things we hunt can’t track us after we do this, unless we screw up and leave something behind. Dean finished explaining as Sam finished what he was doing.
The brothers looked at one another and in mirror image they grabbed their bags and headed out the door. Sam shut it quickly behind him, leaving most of the smoke inside. The boys got into the Impala and Dean headed out of town. It was two in the morning; they would be getting to Salina about sunrise.
“I’ve been thinking,” Sam said and Dean and Jensen both flinched though one was purely psychological. The worst things usually happened after someone said, ‘I’ve been thinking.’
Sighing, Dean glanced at Sam. In the darkness, only being lit up by the occasional street light, Dean couldn’t read his expression, Jensen could tell by the feelings. “’kay, and?” Dean said after a bit.
“World as myth could mean that someone is writing this right now.”
Jensen hadn’t considered it, but it was true, he supposed. But again, he had already come to terms with Sam and Dean being real yet fictional, why should he be any different. Doesn’t matter, what is real is real. The author has no more control over the story than we do. Jensen told Dean.
What does that mean? If someone is writing this then they know the outcome… they have to. Dean was certain.
No, they don’t. I’ve spent enough time around writers to know that the characters can take on a life of their own, things surprise them, characters die or live all seemingly random when it is more like self determination on the part of the characters. Jensen told him. It was true, how many times had he had the feeling that ‘Dean’ wouldn’t do something or say something and he would talk with the writer and usually they would agree, then say that they had started to write it differently the first time.
He knew one thing, he would be going home. Author or not, lizard or not, he had promised Jared.
Dean talked about what Jensen had shared with him and Sam listened, not raising one objection. Which truly surprised Jensen. But then again, he saw as they crossed into Kansas, it was an ungodly hour in the morning.
“Sleep, Sam,” Dean said.
*********
Jared knew the moment Sam fell asleep. Having been an unwelcomed guest in Sam’s body, Jared wiggled his toes. Moving slowly enough that he didn’t wake Sam yet still managing to roll so that if he opened his eyes he could see Jensen -- well, Dean -- but in the darkness of the Impala, Jared could pretend.
The miles and the hours went by. Sam started to wake up as Dean slowed the car, getting ready to get off the interstate. Jared retreated to the corner of Sam’s head that he called his.
“Where do we get off?” Dean asked and Jared snickered.
“Second exit. The first Denny’s you come to,” Sam told him. What in the hell is so funny? Apparently Jared wasn’t as quiet as he thought.
Just trying to find some humor in the moment, Jared told Sam. Sorry, I always seem to revert to some kind of twelve year old with a dirty mind when I’m under stress.
What?
Please. Where do we get off? Anywhere works for me. Jared snickered and Sam snorted, which got him a look from Dean.
Sam waved his hands. Jared knew he wasn’t going to tell Dean. They pulled off the road and into the parking lot of Denny’s. Jared had always wondered what Ash would drive. A late model Ford hadn’t been on his list, he thought, as Ash stepped out of the dark blue car.
The similarities between Ash and Chad, the guy who played Ash like he and Jensen played Sam and Dean was uncanny. Ash had Chad’s walk down or Chad had nailed Ash’s from the beginning. Ash strolled unconcerned up to the Impala. Handing Dean a folder, he glanced around to see if anyone was nearby.
“What have you guys gotten into? It’s all there, weather patterns, crop failures, deaths, disappearances of people who were born the same day as Sammy here, family deaths, fire.” He pointed at the file. “Something big is coming; this mess has your dad’s name written all over it. He was always looking for this. How did you guys come up with this now?”
“We just got a head’s up from some people,” Dean said.
“No one else has even spotted this. They must be trying to stay under the radar. You guys take it easy, if whatever you are hunting knows, you are in danger. Shit, for that matter so am I.” Ash glanced around again. “Stay safe, Ellen ‘ll kick my ass if anything happens to you.”
Sam leaned across Dean to talk to Ash. “Tell Ellen to be careful, too.”
Ash nodded. “Already have. Later.” He gave a half wave and headed back to the car.
“Hey, Ash. Who’s car?” Dean asked as Ash walked away.
“This fine thing?” Ash smirked. “It’s Jo’s. I ‘borrowed’ it. I expect she’ll wanna kick my ass when I get back.”
“Better you than me,” Dean said and started up the Impala. Sam hadn’t quite moved back into his space when he had finished talking with Ash and Dean looked at him. Sam found himself staring and if they hadn’t been in a Denny’s parking lot Jared would have encouraged Sam to follow up on the looks.
Later, Sam. Ask for the folder, Jared told him. Sam apparently agreed because he asked Dean for the folder and the moment passed.
Sam and Jared examined the folder, Sam asking questions and Jared pointing things out. Sam quickly picked up the pattern.
“What?” Dean asked after Sam made some noise.
“I’m the only one left.”
“The only one what?” Dean seemed thoroughly confused and then he got that look on his face that he got when he was listening to Jensen. “How many others were there?”
Sam picked out a spreadsheet that Ash had created. “Hundreds to start with. Many of them died in childhood. Then recently. . .Andy, remember Andy?”
“Like I could forget him. He got his hands on my baby.” Dean ran a hand over the dash.
“And Ava?”
“That bitch?”
“You didn’t think so when you were fucking her.” Jared could feel Sam roll his eyes at his brother. “Turns out some hunter has been picking all of these guys off one by one.”
“Ash say who?”
“Only four are good enough and two of those are dead. That leaves Gordon Walker and Steve Wandell.”
“Wandell’s dead,” Dean said, his tone flat.
Jared wondered for a moment if Wandell had died in this universe the same way he had died in the storyline back home. If he did, why didn’t Sam know? Jared worried for a moment that Sam had picked up on what he had thought.
“That leaves Walker. The last one, Scott Carey. . .was killed a week ago. If he tracked all of these down. Dean, he’s probably after me.”
“I’ll take care of Walker if he shows up.” Dean’s voice was even more flat, if that was possible.
“What is going on, Dean? What happened to Wandell?” Sam asked.
“Wandell’s dead. That’s all you need to know, Sam.”
“Don’t treat me as though I’m five. If you won’t tell me, I’ll ask Jared and he sure as hell can’t lie to me. Maybe it isn’t the same thing but it might be close enough.”
Dean appeared to talk with Jensen again then he reluctantly nodded.
“Fine, Sam, you want to know? You killed Wandell.”
“Ha, Ha. Very funny. What really happened, you accidentally kill him?”
“No, Sam. You were possessed and you killed him.” Dean reached over and pushed Sam’s sleeve up. “I had to get you to Bobby’s and trick the thing in you to get into the Devil’s trap. It had locked itself inside you; I had to break the seal to get it to leave.”
Sam stared in disbelief at Dean. He remembered waking up at Bobby’s with a tattoo and burn on his arm. Dean and Bobby both swore he had been sick. Possession, Demons. . . Jared could feel Sam’s rage building.
Sam, they were scared. They wanted to protect you. Jared tried to calm him down.
But if we had talked about it, we might have figured this out long ago. What gave them the right to not tell me? Sam asked him.
He was avoiding the real subject here. Jared wasn’t sure what was going to happen when he brought it up. Maybe this should wait until they found some place to stop for the night? Damn, he wished he could talk with Jensen, he would have worked out exactly how to calm Sam down.
Dean reached over and put his hand on Sam’s arm. “I’m sorry.”
With those words, Sam’s rage drained away, leaving sadness and sorrow in its wake. Sam turned and looked out the window. He didn’t say anything as Dean drove throughout the day and into the night. Nothing as he pulled into a motel and told him he was going to get a room.
The only reaction he gave Dean was when he walked into the room and saw the single queen sized bed.
“Last room,” Dean spoke from behind him. Sam shrugged and dropped, fully dressed onto one side of the bed, curling in on himself.
“I’m going to get some food.” Dean paused. “Want anything?”
Sam ignored him and finally Dean just left.
You fucking happy? Jared asked Sam after waiting to see if he was going to get out of his funk on his own.
Leave me alone, Sam told him.
No, I won’t. You want someone to feel sorry for you? I won’t. Hell, I can’t.
You never killed anyone, did you?
Neither have you, idiot. Jared said. You were possessed. Don’t you listen? You obviously don’t remember what happened, how does that make you responsible?
Sam didn’t answer him but he seemed to listen. The last thing Jared wanted was a self-destructive Sam on his hands. Maybe it was time to bring up his idea. It would get Sam out of worrying about this and onto worrying about it.
Just tell me, you’re giving me a headache, Sam told him.
I think I’ve worked out how Jen and I can go home. I mean, we’ve told you about the demons. You believe us. I think it is the together thing. . .
Not this again. Listen and listen to me closely, Jared. Dean does not want me, not that way, Sam told him.
Asked him, have you?
“You know I haven’t,” Sam said out loud just as Dean walked back into the room.
“Haven’t what?” Dean asked. He seemed pretty happy that Sam was talking.
Ask him! Jared insisted. If you don’t, I will.
Fine! Sam told him. “Dean, will you please tell this idiot in my head that you don’t want me, that you never have. God, I can’t believe I even said that.”
Dean didn’t say anything. He turned and made sure that the door was locked and dead bolted before he turned back around and looked at Sam. Jared could feel how uncertain Sam suddenly was. He had been positive that Dean would ‘of course’ deny it.
Dean walked over and looked down at Sam sitting on the bed. “I. . .” he started, his face in shadow, so that neither Sam nor Jared could read his expression. “I,” he took a deep breath and finished, “can’t.”
“If this is because of that idiot that you have in your head,” Sam threatened.
“It’s not. Sammy, you sure you want to talk about this?” Dean offered him a way out that Sam refused to take.
“Dean, I need to know.”
Sighing, Dean ran a hand through his hair. He motioned for Sam to scoot over and Sam did it. Dean looked out at the room, definitely not looking at Sam. “When you were seventeen, Dad caught me looking at your ass.” He swallowed, and then it seemed he almost had to force out what he said next.
“Dad said I had two choices.” Dean paused for so long that both Sam and Jared though he might not continue.
“One, I could pull my shit together and never let you even suspect that I felt that way.” This time Dean stopped talking for long enough that Sam had to ask.
“What was the other choice?”
“Oh, that I could leave. Sammy, that just wasn’t an option,” Dean said. “I understood why you left. I can’t tell you how much I regret dragging you back into this.”
“Did I ever tell you why Dad pushed me to go to college?” Sam asked. Dean shook his head. Sam blushed and ducked his head. “He walked in on me jacking off, and just before I came.” Sam paused and Jared could feel how embarrassed he had been. Seventeen getting caught jacking off by your father was bad enough, getting caught saying your brother’s name took the embarrassment to a whole new level of ‘I wish I were dead rather than here’.
“Yeah?” Dean asked.
“I said. . . I said. . .” Sam was so embarrassed that his ears felt hot. “I said your name.”
“So all this time?” Dean asked and Sam nodded. “And you want?”
“Always have, Dean. You just pushed me away so hard.”
“Jessica?”
“I loved her, but I loved you first,” Sam said.
“You don’t think this is just because of,” Dean asked, as if he feared the answer, “Jensen and Jared?”
Sam shook his head. “How can it be, I’ve felt like this forever. What about you?”
Dean leaned slowly towards Sam, his gaze on Sam’s face. Hope and desire in his eyes, his lips parted and Sam couldn’t take his eyes off of Dean’s. Sam’s eyes closed just before Dean’s lips touched his.
Sighing, Sam parted his lips and let his tongue seek out Dean’s. They both groaned as the kiss deepened and Sam felt the sound go straight to his cock. Reaching up, he threaded his fingers through Dean’s short hair. Hardly believing his luck, their kisses became more and more frantic.
Dean pulled back and kissed down Sam’s neck. Tilting his head back to allow Dean more access, Sam opened his eyes and stared unseeing at the ceiling. Dean ran a hand up his shirt and he couldn’t stop his hips from canting up and Dean chuckled at him.
“Dean,” Sam said and his voice turned to a moan as Dean slid his hand down and covered Sam’s denim-enclosed cock. Suddenly Sam found himself pulled up, Dean’s hands at his pants. Sam slid his hands in and unbuttoned his jeans and let them fall to the floor, just as Dean’s hit the ground. Stepping out of his jeans, Sam felt suddenly awkward.
“It’s okay, Sammy. We don’t have to.” Dean looked up at him. “Nothing, we don’t have to do anything you don’t.” Dean was stopped by a hand to his mouth.
“I don’t know what I want to do, but I know I want to do it with you,” Sam said and Dean nodded.
Sam was surprised when Dean pushed him back on the bed. Then his brother climbed on top of him. Pushing Sam’s shirt up and kissing the skin as it was revealed. Licking and biting on Sam’s nipples almost bucking Dean off of him as desire shot through his body. Dean moved up and attacked his neck and collarbone, sucking on Sam’s skin until he left a chain of marks across his chest and left Sam writhing underneath him.
Pulling Dean up so that he could kiss him, Sam felt Dean’s erection pressing against his stomach. Sam moved so that Dean and his cocks could rub. And then Dean was grinding down against him and kissing him until he forgot to breathe. The excitement of Dean wanting to be with him suddenly overwhelmed him and he pushed up and cried out Dean’s name as he came.
Dean seemed to be waiting for him because within moments he was pressed tight against Sam and Sam felt a warm wetness. “Sammy,” Dean breathed out his name like a prayer.
Feeling a sudden lassitude come over him, Sam knew he would have to move before he fell asleep. Dean was almost a dead weight against him and while Sam was more than willing to be Dean’s pillow, he needed a shower and so did his brother. Dean seemed to realize the same thing because he was off of Sam and pulling him to his feet.
Sam walked to the bathroom and stripped out of his t-shirt and soggy underwear. He couldn’t say if he was disappointed or relieved when Dean didn’t follow him in. Quickly, Sam started the shower and stepped in. Washing with one ear cocked to the door, half hoping that Dean would join him. When he didn’t, Sam hurried so that Dean could get cleaned up.
Stepping out of the shower, Sam grabbed a towel just like hundreds of times before and snagged his dirty clothes off of the floor. He dropped them into a pile with his jeans and kicked them to the side. While Sam waited for Dean to get done he was again uncomfortable being naked. Getting some clean underwear out of his duffel, Sam slipped into them and then into bed.
Dean came out of the bathroom and Sam looked at him, he didn’t need Jared pointing out how exhausted he looked, they had been going and going, Dean more than him. Suddenly Sam was hit with a vision.
He was outside the window looking in at Dean. He couldn’t tell what had been going on but if he didn’t know better, sex had happened. But then again, Sam Winchester was the spawn of evil. Fornicating with your brother was just a drop in the bucket, he was sure.
Knowing that together they were stronger, he needed to take out Dean before he could kill Sam. The boys were hard to track, he had just lucked out and pulled into the motel and then had seen the Impala. It hadn’t taken too much work to figure out which room was theirs. He pulled the gun up and aimed it at Dean’s heart.
Jared pulled Sam out of the vision. It was happening now. “Dean. Down!” Sam yelled though his head felt like it was splitting apart. It was a show of just how much they trusted one another when Dean immediately dropped to the floor moments before a bullet pierced the window and the wall behind him.
“Sam?” Dean called out.
“He’s still out there. It’s Walker.” Sam said as Dean crawled across the floor to the bag that held their guns. “Manager’s called the cops by now.” Just then the phone rang. They both ignored it. Then Dean’s cell went off.
Dean looked at the caller ID and then looked at Sam in disbelief. “Yeah?” he said. “No. Gordon, you can go to hell.” Dean held the phone a bit away from his ear as Walker yelled at him. “You think so? Guess we’ll meet you there then.” Dean shut his phone.
“We’ve got to get out of here,” he said unnecessarily as Sam had already crawled and got his bag. He managed to get into some sweats and a tee and he tossed the same to Dean. It was always hard to fight naked. Zipping the bag after stuffing everything into it, Sam flinched as Dean cocked his gun. “Head?” and Sam made a slight movement of agreement. His head was killing him as usual after a vision.
They got out a back window and stole someone’s Corsica. It nearly killed Dean to leave his baby but he knew they would be back for her. Parking where they could see the front of the motel, they saw the cops show up, search an empty room and call a tow truck for the Impala. After the police left and before the tow truck showed up, they watched as a tall black man slipped into the room. Sam made a quick phone call and then they watched him pull out his cell phone.
Dean’s phone vibrated because he had turned off the ringer and he flipped it open. “Yeah?” he said again. He listened and Sam and Jared could hear him describing what he was going to do to Sam when he got him. Sam looked at Dean and how emotionless his face was growing. “Keep it up Walker and I will take you out.”
“I’d like to see you try. Dean, you know the name of Winchester used to stand for something. How proud would your dad be of you knowing that you’re fucking your evil little brother? Did he promise you something? Evil lies, Dean, it always lies.”
Dean stayed calm and just listened, letting Walker ramble on. Watching as the police surrounded the room. They busted in the front door and Walker tried to make a break around back but thanks to Sam the cops were there too. They watched as Walker set his gun down on the ground and raised his hands in surrender.
In the confusion of the arrest and everything, Dean slipped down and after the last cruiser pulled out of the parking lot, just as the tow truck turned onto the road that led to the motel, Dean slid behind the steering wheel of the Impala and drove his baby out of there. Meeting up with Sam on a side road where he had ditched the Corsica.
Driving for two hours, Dean called it good and pulled into another motel. Sam was sleeping against the window and Dean got the room and their stuff inside before he woke his brother. “Come on, Sammy.”
“Jen?” Jared said.
“I’m here, Jay,” Dean said. “Let’s get to bed.” He pulled Jared out of the car.
“Bed’s good,” Jared mumbled as Dean maneuvered him into the motel room. He got him into bed and lay down beside him. Jared or Sam rolled over and engulfed him in a hug, leg over his arm across his chest. Dean felt approval coming from Jensen as he let exhaustion claim him.
Sunshine shining in his eyes woke him up. The motel faced west, and the evening sun shone through the curtains. Dean blinked and checked the time. Five in the afternoon. His stomach rumbled and told him it was past time to eat.
Sam laughed at him. Dean turned to see him sitting at the table with a burger in front of him. “Yours is in the bag. Don’t look at me like that, I tried to wake you up.” He suddenly got a wicked grin on his face. “Did you know that if you’re tired enough you can sleep though a blow job?”
Dean was shocked for a moment, then he smiled. “I don’t think it’s possible to sleep that soundly. Tell Jared that I think he’s very funny.”
“How did you know it was Jared?”
“Sammy, how often do you talk about blowjobs? Besides, you get this look on your face when he talks to you.”
I’m sure you do too. Jensen told him.
I’m sure I do too. I’m just not sure Sam’s that observant.
If he isn’t then Jared. . . Just then Sam spoke up and told Dean that he was talking to Jensen. is.
Dean gave his brother a grin and poked him. “Now you owe me a blow job.”
“What?”
Grabbing his cock, Dean rubbed it suggestively.
“Don’t you want to eat?” Sam sounded nervous.
“Come here, Sam,” Dean directed him. Sam pushed away from the table and walked over to where Dean lay on the bed. They looked at one another and then, for a moment , Sam had the absent ‘talking with Jared’ look on his face. Sam knelt beside him on the bed. Dean watched as Sam reached out and grabbed his waistband. Dean lifted his hips so that Sam could slip his sweats down. His semi-hard cock sprang free and Sam eyed it like a treat. Dean wondered what he and Jared had talked about.
Then his cock was being engulfed down to the base and Dean had to clutch the bedspread so as not to grab Sam’s head. Sam backed off and sucked on the tip of his cock, running his tongue around the head and then sucking him back down. Dean groaned and Sam did too. Vibrations running up his cock, making his balls tighten. Trying to think of anything but what Sam was doing, Dean wanted this to last but the noises that Sam was making made it impossible for him to hold out for long.
“Sammmmyyy,” Dean said and tried to pull his brother off of him before he came, but Sam wouldn’t be moved. He just went at it with a little more vigor, he deep throated Dean again and Dean watched as his cock disappeared into Sam’s mouth and that was all it took, he was coming. Sam sucked him until it was just this side of painful, then he released Dean’s softening cock with a pop. Smacking his lips as he moved to kiss Dean, he licked his lips before leaning down to lick at Dean’s.
“Good?” Sam asked as he pulled back.
“Ung…” Dean responded.
“I’ll take that as a yes. Now, let’s eat.”
Dean’s stomach chose that moment to rumble again. “See, your tummy agrees with me,” Sam said and held a hand out to Dean to help him off the bed.
Letting Sam help him up, Dean pulled his sweats up with a kind of absentmindedness and wandered over to the table. He stood and stared at the food like he wasn’t sure what to do with it. There was no way Sam had just given him the best blow job he had ever had in his life. He picked up a french fry and ate it still staring down at the food.
“Dean?” Sam asked, his voice hesitant and Dean looked at him. “Sit?”
Looking at the chair, he moved and sat down. Grabbing a burger out of the bag he took a bite, unknowingly staring at Sam. “Dean?” The worry in Sam’s voice made Dean focus on him.
“I’m okay. Better than okay. Sam that was. . .” Dean stopped out of words for once.
“Horrid?” Sam whispered, his eyes wide with worry.
“No, no no. Fucking amazing. Sam, where did you learn to do that?”
Sam blushed and Dean suddenly got it. “Jared.” He got a nod in agreement.
That’s what you get? Dean asked.
That and more. Jared is amazing. I bet Sam is too, Jensen told him.
Dean felt himself growing hard again at the thought of being with Sam. He took another bite of his burger. He didn’t notice how quiet Sam grew. Finishing the last bite he looked across the table at his brother, who was looking down at the table, a dejected look on his face.
“What?” Dean asked and Sam just shook his head. Dean kicked him under the table and Sam looked up at him, his eyes bright with unshed tears. What the hell?
“What?” he asked again, a little more gently.
“You’d rather be with Jared,” Sam said and Dean looked at him like he had grown another head.
“What?” Dean couldn’t help sounding like a broken record. He couldn’t understand what Sam was thinking.
“I learned how to give head from Jared. If we have sex I’ll have him helping me with that too… you should just be with him.” Sam’s voice was even teary.
“For christ’s sake, Sam. I learned to kiss from Suzy Buchanan in the fifth grade. It doesn’t mean you want to kiss her, does it?”
“Not the same.”
“Yes, you idiot. It is. Doesn’t matter where or how you learn as long as it’s you. Sammy.” Dean had moved over in between Sam’s legs. “You are the one I want. You are the one I’ve wanted for so long that I can’t believe that you want me.”
Sam pulled him down into a kiss. “I do want you,” he murmured against Dean’s lips and Dean lost whatever control he had as he ravaged Sam’s mouth, stopping only when he tasted blood.
Pulling back, Dean looked at Sam with his lips all swollen and felt his desire grow even more. He got Sam to his feet and led him to the bed. Kissing him gently, Dean went and dug in his duffel until he found the lube. He walked back over to Sam, who was watching him closely.
“Lube,” he said as he sat down on the bed. He was kind of hoping he wasn’t going to have to explain what the lube was for. He wasn’t sure how much Sam knew.
Sam smiled at him and put his hand over the bottle. “I can prepare, you don’t have to.”
‘But I want to’ died on his lips as Jensen suggested something. Tell him you want to watch. Leaning back a bit, he gave Sam an encouraging smile. “I wanna watch.”
“Dean,” Sam sounded taken aback. “Really?”
“If you’ll let me.”
Sam must have made up his mind because he smiled and flipped open the lid of the lube.
He’s been talking with Jared again, you had better be ready for this, Jensen warned him and he peaked Dean’s interest.
Sam stripped and lay down in front of Dean. He flipped the bottle open and squirted some of the lube into his left hand. He then slid one finger around and around in it like he was tracing the lines on his palm. The he lifted one leg and slid his hand down his thigh until his finger was at his entrance which he circled with his lubed up finger and pressed against his tight hole put didn’t press in.
Bringing his hand back up, he got more lube on his finger and once again circled his hole, his eyes on Dean. Dean, who had his hands down his pants and was barely controlling the urge to push Sam’s hand aside and push his cock into that tight hole. He held his breath as Sam pushed harder yet still didn’t breach the tight ring of muscle. Moaning as it finally slipped inside him, Dean stood and started stripping. Sam smiled and lay his head back.
Pulling his finger out, he slicked two of them up and, listening to his tutor, pushed out as he pushed in, his fingers slid in. Sam began to move them inside, fucking himself with them and Dean couldn’t look away, he stroked his cock in time with Sam’s movements. Dean knew the moment Sam touched his prostate, his cock jumped nicely and his eyes rolled back into his head. Dean groaned.
“What?” Sam asked out loud but his companion appeared to answer him because he got this grin on his face and pushed his fingers in again. Dean groaned when Sam did and his other hand slid down to his balls, he rolled them as he watched Sam fuck himself with his fingers. Then he pulled them out with a pop.
He got some more lube on them, only this time it was three and Dean was moaning even before Sam pushed them in. Sam’s fingers slid into him as Dean watched, thinking that this was torture. He pulled down on his balls to stop himself from coming as Sam moaned and pushed in four fingers.
“Sam,” Dean was whining this time and Sam was looking thoroughly debauched with lube running down his ass and all Dean could think about was pushing his dick inside his brother. Sam seemed to read his mind.
Pulling his fingers out, he looked at Dean with his crooked smile and his dimples flashing. “Fuck me, Dean, please.”
He didn’t need to be asked twice, he moved to position himself between his brother’s legs. Placing his cock at Sam’s well lubed entrance, he started to push in. Stopping with just his head in, he looked at Sam to see how he was doing. Dean felt Sam relax around him and Dean pushed all the way in.
Suddenly Jensen was in control but he wasn’t fucking Sam, he was making love to Jared. Don’t ask him how he knew, he just did. It felt so good, he leaned down to kiss his boyfriend. “Love you, Jay.”
Jared kissed him back. “Love you too, Jen,” Jared told him. And then they were gone.
Dean just knew that Jensen had left and, by the look on Sam’s face, Jared was gone too. Then Sam tightened around Dean and Dean began to move. He took a hint from Jensen and made love to Sam. Kissing him and slowly moving until Sam was begging him to go faster and harder. Dean graciously complied. He pounded into his brother over and over, reaching between them he had barely touched Sam’s cock and Sam was coming. The sight of the pearly fluids splashing on Sam’s chest and the way Sam’s ass clamped down on his cock had Dean coming soon after.
He slid out of Sam and rolled beside him. Pulling the bedspread over the both of them Dean curled around his brother. This is where he belonged, no matter what. Sam’s breathing evened out and Dean whispered how much he loved him into his messy hair.
“Love you too, Dean.” And that said it all.
The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. ---ALLAN K. CHALMERS