Two posts in two days... try not to faint

[gestaltrose]

Anyway, I'm posting on behalf of a friend of mine. I know my flist has resources and experiences that I don't. This is from a friend of my on facebook.

I am in desperate need of help

Comments

[mickeym]

As fromyourashes mentions, more detail about age of child, level of functioning, etc., would help make advice less generic. But, having been down this road before, my suggestion is this:

Find a counselor/therapist for the child. Immediately.

This is a good tool for finding counselors:

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php

The parents need to talk to the child, and discuss (age/understanding-appropriate) what death is, what suicide is, the permanence of it. It may be that the child doesn't even have an actual awareness of what suicide is. If s/he does, then talking about the who/what/where/how/why can help find out what the triggers are.

Here's a link for tips and suggestions for suicide ideation among people on the spectrum: http://www.autism-help.org/family-suicide-depression-autism.htm

The main page for the above link: http://www.autism-help.org/index.htm

And another link: http://www.autismspeaks.org/blog/2013/05/13/8-critical-measures-counter-suicide

I hope that's somewhat helpful. Lots of hugs and positive vibes directed toward your friend. *hugs*

[gestaltrose]

Thank you so much, love. I gave her your links and she really appreciates them. btw she says her son is 16, he is very social, maybe too social. Academically he is about 5-6 grade level. Social development he is about 10-12 years old. if that helps

[mickeym]

Man, 16 is hard enough all on its own, even without any sort of developmental issues. :-/

So, academically, socially, emotionally, he's about 10-12 and physically, he's 16. There's a very likely chance he's being bullied, and he's "old enough" to be aware that suicide is something that could make the bullying stop. If he's anything like Matthew, he wants friends and wants to fit in DESPERATELY -- which makes the "too social" very understandable.

I would recommend to your friend that she also talk to the school -- particularly if she has a good relationship with any of the teachers, or the principal, or whoever. Does he attend regular school (obvs. special ed classes if so), or does he attend a special ed school? If he's in regular school, is he mainstreamed at all? If he is, that might be some of the problem, since it would put him in with non-spec ed students.

I relied heavily on my relationship with Matthew's IEP case manager, as well as with the guidance counselor, and I kept open lines of communication with several of his teachers, as well, so when there were problems (whether school-related or not) I could keep them updated on what was going on.

If your friend wants someone just to talk to, you can give her my email (kgasper at comcast dot net). :)