no wedding and a funeral
i didn't go to her funeral. i guess i could have. i offered, but i didn't push the matter. technically, i'd only met her once.
(but i still am unsure which verb tense to use.)
only once did i show her around san francisco. stuff our faces with coconut banana macadamia nut pancakes at stacks'. take jumping pictures at chrissy fields. window shop along the tony, sunny sidewalks of the marina. sample way too many free chocolates at that little boutique. defend her autonomy from her overprotective and overbearing older cousin aka my typically laid-back boyfriend.
only once or twice did i spend time with her older sister, but i had my boyfriend deliver a card to her at the funeral on my behalf. inside, i'd tucked a little pack of cucumber-shaped de-puffing compresses for eyes. i didn't know her well enough to realize that she'd ultimately take the lead and, like a general, organize every detail of her baby sister's funeral - wake, viewing, memorial service...everything - eulogies, memorial fund donations, slide show pics, flowers, programs, and so on - was time-slotted and boxed into exel spreadsheets that were glued to her hand.
it was jiejie who decided to change up the plan after the friday night viewing and close the coffin for the saturday service. apparently, hair and make-up weren't right. she wouldn't have wanted to look like that, jiejie said.
i don't have a sister. i doubt my brother ever notices my hair and make-up much less knows how i want to look. this is a jiejie to a meimei, so she knows. plus, she got married just last year so she is intimately familiar with deploying numerous minions to accomplish logistical gymnastics that result in great romantic effect, and juggling workbooks of spreadsheets of seating schemes, food arrangements, thank you card check-lists, schedules timed to the minute--
i know enough of sisters to realize that jiejie's take-charge leadership, the imperious decision-making, the glossy, stylish thank you card i received - all of that is, in a tragic way, the wedding she'll never get to co-plan with her meimei.
r.i.p.
(but i still am unsure which verb tense to use.)
only once did i show her around san francisco. stuff our faces with coconut banana macadamia nut pancakes at stacks'. take jumping pictures at chrissy fields. window shop along the tony, sunny sidewalks of the marina. sample way too many free chocolates at that little boutique. defend her autonomy from her overprotective and overbearing older cousin aka my typically laid-back boyfriend.
only once or twice did i spend time with her older sister, but i had my boyfriend deliver a card to her at the funeral on my behalf. inside, i'd tucked a little pack of cucumber-shaped de-puffing compresses for eyes. i didn't know her well enough to realize that she'd ultimately take the lead and, like a general, organize every detail of her baby sister's funeral - wake, viewing, memorial service...everything - eulogies, memorial fund donations, slide show pics, flowers, programs, and so on - was time-slotted and boxed into exel spreadsheets that were glued to her hand.
it was jiejie who decided to change up the plan after the friday night viewing and close the coffin for the saturday service. apparently, hair and make-up weren't right. she wouldn't have wanted to look like that, jiejie said.
i don't have a sister. i doubt my brother ever notices my hair and make-up much less knows how i want to look. this is a jiejie to a meimei, so she knows. plus, she got married just last year so she is intimately familiar with deploying numerous minions to accomplish logistical gymnastics that result in great romantic effect, and juggling workbooks of spreadsheets of seating schemes, food arrangements, thank you card check-lists, schedules timed to the minute--
i know enough of sisters to realize that jiejie's take-charge leadership, the imperious decision-making, the glossy, stylish thank you card i received - all of that is, in a tragic way, the wedding she'll never get to co-plan with her meimei.
r.i.p.