9/5/1958---6/27/2007
I know I never write in here anymore and I always say I will, but only cuz I really intend to. I just procrastinate and write in here only when I want to, not because I feel like I have to (to, to, to). I'd rather read them then write in my own. My senior year went by so fast and so slow at the same time. I was so sick of the same routine I did everyday from the time I got up at 6 to go to school till 11 when I went to sleep. It got so old, and Im happy its finally over. But Id rather do it all over again if it would take away some of the things that happened this summer. Its been the worst summer of my life and its only half way over =( On June 9th Mikes grandpa past away. His family and I spent a while in Gainseville where they lived and it was the first funeral I've gone to in which I knew the person well, although not as well as I wish I could have...less than 3 weeks later, last Wednesday, my mom died. She was in the hospital on Sunday and passed away 3 days later. I never thought I would have to go through what I did. Atleast not for another 20 years or something. It didnt just happen all of a sudden or right away, it was the longest 4 days of my life. I was with her in the hospital room and she was on a breathing machine and unconscious but I stayed in there and talked to her anyway. I didnt think she could hear me cuz she couldnt move or open her eyes or anything but while I sat there talking to her, tears were coming out of her eyes.
The last time I talked to her was on the phone in Gainesville and I was telling her that we just got back from Mikes grandpa's funeral. I miss her and I want to see her so bad. I dont like talking about it with people in person. The worst part was that there was no nice funeral for her and the memorial we were supposed to have was a complete disaster and my family walked out their seperate ways pissed off or crying and angry with eachother. Im sad and sad and sad and miserably sad. and i miss her.
My sister got me that book 90 minutes in heaven and when I read it the guy said when he was in heaven he didnt even think or mourn over the people or posessions he left behind on Earth because he was so happy where he was. I know thats a good thing but i dont want my mom to forget about me or not think of me. I think of her every minute of the day.
I didnt go to New York with my dad like I was supposed to so I went with Mikes family to Sea World 4th of July. It was fun and hard for moth Mike and me. Last year we went to Sea World with Mikes grandparents and this year was different, and I have never been there with my mom and hoped to. I have to try not to think about it though because all I can do is lay there when I do.
Today is 2 years 9 months with Mike and me. I love him so much and I wouldnt have gotten through all of this if it wasnt for him. He drove me to the hospital no matter what time it was. My mom passed away on his sisters birthday and he's only concern and thoughts was if I was okay or needed him. He stayed in the waiting room with me until 4 in the morning and hugged me and wiped my face with tissues while I cried the hardest I ever cried in my life. Hes my favorite and I love him. I'd be lost without Michael Izzo.
2 people this year lost a parent and I was so insanely sad for them when I heard about it and I couldnt believe how strong they were about it. I couldnt relate until recently and everyone has a different way of venting and this is mine. I hope no one read this entire boring lame entry because it was only written to vent. The end end end.
The last time I talked to her was on the phone in Gainesville and I was telling her that we just got back from Mikes grandpa's funeral. I miss her and I want to see her so bad. I dont like talking about it with people in person. The worst part was that there was no nice funeral for her and the memorial we were supposed to have was a complete disaster and my family walked out their seperate ways pissed off or crying and angry with eachother. Im sad and sad and sad and miserably sad. and i miss her.
My sister got me that book 90 minutes in heaven and when I read it the guy said when he was in heaven he didnt even think or mourn over the people or posessions he left behind on Earth because he was so happy where he was. I know thats a good thing but i dont want my mom to forget about me or not think of me. I think of her every minute of the day.
I didnt go to New York with my dad like I was supposed to so I went with Mikes family to Sea World 4th of July. It was fun and hard for moth Mike and me. Last year we went to Sea World with Mikes grandparents and this year was different, and I have never been there with my mom and hoped to. I have to try not to think about it though because all I can do is lay there when I do.
Today is 2 years 9 months with Mike and me. I love him so much and I wouldnt have gotten through all of this if it wasnt for him. He drove me to the hospital no matter what time it was. My mom passed away on his sisters birthday and he's only concern and thoughts was if I was okay or needed him. He stayed in the waiting room with me until 4 in the morning and hugged me and wiped my face with tissues while I cried the hardest I ever cried in my life. Hes my favorite and I love him. I'd be lost without Michael Izzo.
2 people this year lost a parent and I was so insanely sad for them when I heard about it and I couldnt believe how strong they were about it. I couldnt relate until recently and everyone has a different way of venting and this is mine. I hope no one read this entire boring lame entry because it was only written to vent. The end end end.