ah dissociative disorder my dear old friend
harumph. got caught in the throws of panic from a dissociative episode this evening. it's been awhile since it has induced panic. threw me off guard. 20 minutes of sentence repeating and focusing calmed me down luckily. i had some grave concern that it might have been something different this time around. (hypochondria, anyone?) oooooh look at me throwing self diagnosis around. woo!
talked it out with my housemate a bit and it's probably the same stress induced sort that i used to have. big changes in the air and things don't sort themselves out if you ignore them. perhaps i've been spending too much time distracting from what needs to be focused on. i'm not sure focusing on some of this is entirely helpful either though. i suppose i need to do something about it, i'm just not sure exactly what. story of my life that is...
meh. i know why i'm doing this, but i'm still questioning it. am i running away from a chance to make my life better? i am not one to ever go back on my word. this is important. i know this. my reasons are sound. just worried i'm doing the wrong thing. maybe all of this concern is unnecessary. maybe i only want to be needed but in reality am not even that helpful.
i feel like fate is dangling carrots.
talked it out with my housemate a bit and it's probably the same stress induced sort that i used to have. big changes in the air and things don't sort themselves out if you ignore them. perhaps i've been spending too much time distracting from what needs to be focused on. i'm not sure focusing on some of this is entirely helpful either though. i suppose i need to do something about it, i'm just not sure exactly what. story of my life that is...
meh. i know why i'm doing this, but i'm still questioning it. am i running away from a chance to make my life better? i am not one to ever go back on my word. this is important. i know this. my reasons are sound. just worried i'm doing the wrong thing. maybe all of this concern is unnecessary. maybe i only want to be needed but in reality am not even that helpful.
i feel like fate is dangling carrots.