[SERIES] The Last Descendant of Lee Seunghoon (7/??): Subjective. Objective.
THE LAST DESCENDANT OF LEE SEUNGHOON (by kaijin-taichou)
Chapter VII - Subjective. Objective.
Rating: PG-13 or T
Genre: AU, Series, Humor, (trying to be) Romance, Fantasy, (super) Crack
Main Characters: Kim Jinwoo, Song Minho, Lee Seunghoon
Recurring Characters: Lee Seunghyun (Seungri), Nam Taehyun, Kang Seungyoon, (mention of) Kwon Jiyong (G-Dragon)
Pairing: Minwoo; MinoxJinwoo; BFF!Jinhoon; Hyung line
Summary: Lee Seunghoon will do whatever it takes to save Kim Jinwoo from their family's ill-fated luck on love and make him the perfect lover for Song Minho
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Chapter VII
Subjective. Objective.
Patience is a skill, in Jinwoo's opinion. Not everyone was gifted with patience. According to Seungri, he was the most patient person ever existed in the world.
However, Lee Seunghoon was testing Jinwoo's patience so hard that he might tell his brother that the world's most patient person has disappeared.
"So, did he put it on by himself? I hope you didn't let him do that on his own. Did you put it on him? That would be a major turn on, I'm telling you, Jinwoo-yah."
The "it" that Seunghoon was talking about was his gift for Jinwoo: a condom. The ghost thought he and Mino had a steamy Busan trip and used the said item.
Jinwoo thought he was listening to a porn radio program with Seunghoon's theories about how they used the protection, how they did it in Mino's car.
"Talk to me! I am beginning to imagine wild things about you and your Mino guy!" Seunghoon stood beside him as Jinwoo prepared for the ingredients he needed for tomorrow's breakfast.
Jinwoo glared at Seunghoon.
Are you telling me that you're not yet imagining things wildly with all the scenarios you mentioned? He wanted to ask the ghost but Jinwoo dropped his glare and continued counting the onions and potatoes as he set aside the garlic.
Seunghoon left his side and walked around the room. Jinwoo thought the ghost disappeared but when he looked at his back, Seunghoon was standing near the door. Then the ghost spoke again.
"You know what? If you put the condom on with your mouth, I swear, Mino will lost his sanity and as your punishment, you will be bedridden for two days because your ass-"
That's it!
What does this ghost gigolo think? That he was an easy person and to get laid was his priority? Jinwoo wanted to scream at Seunghoon's face.
However, all he could do was to throw garlic on his way.
Garlic should make a ghost disappear, right? Jinwoo asked himself before throwing it.
Unfortunately, Jinwoo missed his target and as though the universe had something against him, one of his guests, Taehyun, was making his way to the kitchen when he threw the garlic.
Taehyun caught the garlic with his right hand.
"Nice catch!" Seunghoon complimented then he glared at Jinwoo.
"Seriously? A garlic? I can munch all the garlic in your kitchen if you want. I'm a ghost, not a vampire. Yeah, I may have given you that impression of a hot lonely vampire but I'm just a ghost. Did I disappoint you?" Seunghoon told him as he sat on the kitchen counter.
Jinwoo ignored the ghost and quickly ran towards Taehyun to apologize.
"I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!" Jinwoo apologized as he bowed endlessly.
"It's okay. I’m actually about to ask if you have garlic because-" Taehyun didn't finish his sentence because a man took the garlic from his hand which startled both Jinwoo and Taehyun.
"Garlic! I need garlic! Thanks!" Seungyoon said, smiling widely at Taehyun.
Jinwoo noticed a hint of redness on Taehyun's face as he just nodded at Seungyoon.
"Again, nice catch!" Seunghoon said as he grinned while looking at Taehyun and Seungyoon.
Seungyoon started talking about some music festival and Taehyun shared his thoughts about it. Jinwoo wanted to know the connection between the garlic and the said music festival.
His two guests thanked him and bowed then left the kitchen, laughing and enjoying their conversation.
"Awwww. My house has become a nest of gay love," Seunghoon said as he wiped his non-existing tears on his right cheek.
Jinwoo ignored him again and continued his breakfast preparation.
"Those two should thank me if they end up dating," Seunghoon said as he "helped" Jinwoo because he opened the refrigerator for him. Jinwoo wasn't a rude person and he always thanked every person who did nice things to him, even in the simplest form.
Lee Seunghoon was an exception.
"Aren't you going to ask me why?" Seunghoon asked him as the ghost followed him to the kitchen counter. Jinwoo, though curious, pretended he didn't hear Seunghoon.
"Remember when they first arrived here? Their keys fell? Yup! I did that," Seunghoon said proudly.
Jinwoo tried to recall it, without being noticed by the ghost. A suppressed smile was formed on his lips as he remembered how his guests apologized to each other and how he and his Seungri-hyung enjoyed the apologizing battle.
"So, going back to you and Mino," Seunghoon said. Jinwoo rolled his eyes. He won't let this ghost ruin his day.
However, before Seunghoon could start talking again, they heard someone cleared his throat.
"Speaking of the devil," Seunghoon smirked as Mino walked towards Jinwoo.
"Hi," Mino greeted him. Jinwoo laughed at how awkward Mino was but he frowned when he heard Seunghoon sniggle.
"The awkward after-sex hi!" Seunghoon giggled.
"Hello," Jinwoo greeted back, ignoring Seunghoon who was dying for the second time in his lifetime at the corner.
"Uhm, Jinwoo-hyung. This is... how will I say this?" Mino laughed nervously as he scratched his nape.
Jinwoo looked at him curiously. Meanwhile, Seunghoon was running around the kitchen shouting, "He wants to bang you again! Make this kitchen dirty, Jinwoo-yah!"
Then he stopped and stood beside Mino.
"You're the bottom, right? You don't have the aura of a thruster. You are definitely a thrustee," Seunghoon said casually.
Jinwoo opened his eyes widely, scandalized by how vulgar the ghost gigolo was. However, it made Mino more nervous.
"Hyung... No... I mean... I don't judge you. I swear. I think it's normal for every guy to have it... do you know what I'm talking about?" Mino asked him.
Jinwoo decided to focus his attention on Mino and completely ignore Seunghoon's "Heol, Jinwoo-yah! What is this mischief that you've done?!"
"I don't understand. I don't know what you're talking about," Jinwoo asked, puzzled.
Jinwoo noticed how Mino bit his lower lip before he put his right hand in the right pocket of his pants. Seunghoon stopped giggling and stood beside Jinwoo, curiously looking at Mino as well.
The inn owner gasped as he saw the object Mino pulled out of his pocket.
"Uhm... Is... I-Is t-this yours?" Mino asked awkwardly. Jinwoo averted his gaze from Mino. Jinwoo looked at Seunghoon, who was pouting.
"You didn't use my gift?! You didn't have sex?! Why?!" the gigolo ranted.
Pretending that he couldn't see how the gigolo was acting like crazy around his kitchen, Jinwoo looked at Mino nervously.
"I... I-I... W-what makes you t-think t-that's m-mine?" Jinwoo stuttered.
Mino smiled awkwardly before he answered.
"That's not the brand I use," his guest answered.
"Oh. What brand do you use?" Jinwoo asked immediately, without thinking.
He looked at Mino, who looked amused. Then he realized what he just asked his guest.
What brand do you use?
At that moment, Jinwoo wished for a zombie apocalypse so the zombies would eat him alive.
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I was beyond disappointed. Jinwoo didn't use my gift! I just realized with how awkward Mino and Jinwoo were. That was not after-sex awkwardness. I almost abandoned my mission. I almost disowned Jinwoo.
But he redeemed himself in the blink of an eye. My love for my great-great grandson was rekindled.
He just asked Mino what condom brand the guy uses!
"What brand do you use?" I repeated again and again. That line should be treated as special as "I came; I saw; I conquered." and "To be or not to be. That is the question."
That, what Jinwoo asked, was the real question. The real deal.
"What brand do you use?" I laughed out loud again. Don't get me wrong. I am not laughing at Jinwoo. I'm just happy that he managed to ask such question.
"What brand do you use? What brand do you use? What brand do you use?" I chanted. Of course, that earned me a glare from Jinwoo.
"Instead of glaring at me, why don't you ask for his size too? I'd be glad to buy it for you," I told him.
Ignoring me again, Jinwoo tried to save his image as he told Mino, "Don't mind me. I-"
However, Mino cut him off to answer my precious Jinwoo's golden question. And I swear to the Boss Ghost that I almost kissed Mino's cheek with his answer.
"I... I don't really... I don't use condom. It's... it's not really fun if... if you have that on," a shy Mino's reply.
That answer was P-E-R-F-E-C-T! I just found the right boy for my descendant.
"Holy shit, Jinwoo-yah! You will be filled inside! What inside do you want? Around your face area or in that area between your thighs?" I told him as I pat his back.
Good job on finding Mr. Anti-Condom, I wanted to add but Jinwoo wasn't listening and just stared at Mino.
My poor Jinwoo. Perhaps that Kwon Jiyong was a condom-lover. I feel sad for Jinwoo.
My lovely great-great grandson just stared at him. I nudged him.
"Hey! Do you want me to ask my boss here to give you the power to undress Mino by just staring at him?" I asked Jinwoo.
I knew he was back to the reality when he glared at me again. I'm getting used to this treatment.
"I... T-that's... I-I... That's not w-what I meant," Jinwoo frantically waved his hands. His face was as red as a tomato. Cuteness overload!
"Yeah... a-and that was s-stupid of me to answer that. Uhm... yeah," Mino stuttered.
"N-No. It's okay. But y-you should... I-I think you should use one. J-just to be s-safe. You m-might make s-someone... y-you know... l-like..."
"Stop that nonsense, Jinwoo-yah! I can't wait for that day when Mino makes your ass like a cream puff!" I told him at the same time as he talked.
"... l-like a cream puff," Jinwoo said.
Dear Lord, what have I done that you gave Kim Jinwoo as my descendant? I don't deserve him. He is too much of a blessing.
"Cream puff?" Mino looked at him curiously.
Jinwoo gave Mino a scandalized look. He panicked. Then he glared at me again.
"Shut up!" He mouthed.
Oh. My. God. Jinwoo finally talked to me! I wanted to cry and hug him but I noticed Mino looked at my direction. I think I was starting to arouse his attention.
Arouse meaning to get, not the Jinwoo-kind of arousal he gives to men like to young Mino here.
"Jinwoo-hyung?" a confused yet curious Mino asked my great-great grandson.
Have I told anyone how much I love Mino's curiosity? I wish he was curious too about Jinwoo's sexual activities and skills. Curious enough to see it for himself.
"I'm just telling myself to shut up so I could avoid damaging my image further," Jinwoo sighed. That made me and Mino laugh.
I was surprised when Jinwoo took my gift away Mino's hand.
"This is not mine. Maybe, it was my brother's when he borrowed my hoodie. But definitely not mine. I hope I am not giving you any impression," Jinwoo talked like he was reciting a tongue twister. I wondered if Mino understood a single word he said.
Mino nodded but I am convinced that he was not convinced. "So, what are you doing?"
How gentleman of Mino to change the topic. I want to hear them talk more about condoms, though.
"Oh. I'm preparing the ingredients I need for breakfast later." I could tell that Jinwoo was happy that they have moved on from the condom topic. But I am not.
I just observed them. They looked like a newly-married couple inside the kitchen.
"I am excited for breakfast now."
"Yes, you should be."
Did I just hear Jinwoo giggle?
"I can't wait to eat breakfast."
And I can't wait to see you eat Jinwoo, Mino.
The flirting game is too strong between the two of them. As a person who doesn't really believe in flirting, I hope they would cut this flirting era and just go and get laid.
==========
Mino planned to start his morning early but he slept late because he started drafting his article and organized his photos that he took during his business date with Jinwoo.
Mino chuckled. If organizing meant staring at the photos of Jinwoo, then his files and folders were well-organized.
It was hard not to admire Jinwoo's handsome face. Mino shook his head. Jinwoo was not handsome. He was beautiful. And he was starting to believe that Jinwoo was beautiful, inside and out.
But that's it. Focus on your article, Song Minho. I don't have much time.
When Mino arrived in the dining room, all the guests were there, including Seungri. He looked around but he didn't see Jinwoo.
The journalist hoped that Jinwoo wouldn't be awkward towards him after the condom and cream puff incident.
Seungri saw him and asked him to sit and have breakfast. The co-owner of the inn introduced him to the other guests. Mino bowed politely and apologized for being late.
"Nonsense. You can sleep and wake up anytime you want. You didn't spend your money in this inn just to wake you up when it's breakfast time," Seungri said as he gestured him to his right.
"So Kwon Jiyong's back," the man with his family named Tablo said as he continued to look at his phone.
"I think so. He just started his own clothing line. It seems like the netizens had forgotten about the scandal," his wife answered.
Mino noticed that Seungri stiffened and held his glass of water tighter that he might break the glass.
"But isn't early to be back? I mean, the scandal was just six months ago," the guy named Seungyoon commented.
"Business as usual, I guess. What's your view about the scandal, Seungyoon-ssi?" a guy with droopy eyebrows named Taehyun asked the guy who was sitting beside him.
Before Seungyoon could talk, all their heads turned to Jinwoo who was walking towards the dining table.
"Jinwoo-yah, breakfast set for your Busan tour guide, Mino," Seungri told his brother.
Mino looked and smiled at Jinwoo. He was worried that the inn owner would be awkward because of the incidents last night but he beamed at him before leaving the kitchen.
"It was a pretty nasty scandal. It showed that our country is not yet ready for same-sex relationships despite those skinships that male idol groups do," Seungyoon shared.
"That is true. I mean, so what if Jiyong was in a relationship with a fellow guy? Kwon Jiyong is dumb if he thought his relationship with his executive assistant wouldn’t be revealed," Tablo said as he fed his daughter with bacon.
Mino was enjoying the conversation about Kwon Jiyong and the scandal. Hearing other people's opinions regarding the said scandal of the year would help him with his article.
"If you ask me, he should never return," Taehyun said then he drank his coffee.
At the same time, Jinwoo returned with Mino's plateful English breakfast: sausage, bacon, scrambled eggs, a muffin, and toasted bread. Mino heard that Seungri requested the English breakfast set to suit their Western-style inn.
Jinwoo put down the plate in front of Mino as the inn owner greeted him "Good morning." The journalist felt he was being served breakfast by his wife. He would give all his money just to have this kind of breakfast.
After he thanked Jinwoo, the latter sat across him, beside Taehyun.
"What are you discussing?" Jinwoo asked his brother.
Seungri was about to speak when Taehyun spoke.
"I mean, I don't believe that Kwon Jiyong's executive assistant was just after his money."
Mino looked at Jinwoo who froze like a statue.
"They were together for almost two years. I think both of them were in love. But Kwon Jiyong was coward enough not to fight for his lover. What is wrong with falling in love with a fellow guy? If it is your preference, no matter how hard you try to deny it, you always choose your preference. I just hate the fact that not only he didn't stand up for their relationship, that businessman filed cases against him!" Taehyun said angrily.
"Hey," Seungyoon said with a nervous smile as he tried to console Taehyun. Tablo and his wife nodded while Haru looked at Taehyun curiously.
Mino looked at Seungri, who was clapping while saying, "Well said! Well said!"
When his eyes focused on Jinwoo, Mino noticed that he didn't move an inch. The inn owner wasn't smiling but he didn't look sad either.
Mino could see disappointment on Jinwoo's face.
"How about you, Mino-ssi? What do you think of this scandal?" Tablo asked him.
Mino cleared his throat before answering.
"Well, for me, the whole law suit filing drama was unnecessary. But I can't comment beyond that because I need to hear the side of Kwon Jiyong's former executive assistant. I mean, I want to know how he felt. We didn't have the truth per se because we only got Mr. Kwon's statements. I never read an article about his executive assistant. He neither denied nor confirmed Mr. Kwon's allegations against him. And his silence intrigues me," Mino paused a bit to steal a glance at Jinwoo.
Jinwoo slightly moved. He bit his lower lip. Then Mino continued.
"What's the real reason behind his silence? Is he really a gold digger? Is he really Korea's national bitch, as what the netizens and Mr. Kwon accuse him of? Is he still here in Korea? Or does he still love him that's why he wasn’t fighting back? Does he love him that much that he just let his ex-lover accuse him of things that might not be true?" Mino looked at Jinwoo. He was slightly surprised when their eyes met. His eyes were filled with curiosity... and gratitude?
Mino thought maybe Jinwoo didn't feel any support from other people aside from the support of his family and friends. And hearing that there were people who wanted to know his side, Jinwoo might have felt overwhelmed.
It gave Mino and his article hope.
"I agree. But if this Mr. Kwon's ex-lover still loves him, do you think he should still file a suit to at least counter the accusations against him?" Hyejeong asked as she helped her daughter to drink her juice.
"Yes," Seungri, Taehyun, Seungyoon, and Tablo said in unison. Then they laughed.
"Are we going to build a Support Kwon Jiyong's ex-lover movement?" Tablo joked.
Mino looked at Jinwoo, who was now looking at his stepbrother. Seungri pat Jinwoo's shoulder and nodded at him. Mino was sure that he heard the older guy whisper to his brother, "See? We love you. And I know you're touched but don't cry now."
The guests left one by one, apologizing to Mino for leaving him while he was still eating. Everyone left, except Jinwoo.
"You don't have anything to do?" Mino asked him.
"I will clean these dishes. Just waiting for yours," Jinwoo replied.
"I'm sorry. I'll eat faster," Mino said as he put the bacon and the toasted bread in his mouth swiftly.
"No. Please don't feel burdened. Just take your time. I'm not yet done eating, too," Jinwoo laughed as he pointed at his plate.
Mino took the opportunity to start his mission.
"I didn't hear you talk a while ago. What's your opinion about the so-called scandal of the year?" Mino asked casually after swallowing his food.
Jinwoo stopped eating and just stared at his plate.
Would he talk? Mino wondered.
"I..." Jinwoo started. Mino put down his spoon and leaned forward slightly. Jinwoo didn't look at him but he continued to speak.
"... I think the whole thing was a big mistake. For both of them. But if there is one difference between the two of them, I guess Kwon Jiyong regretted the relationship very much while the executive assistant..." Jinwoo paused.
"He has no regrets," Then he stood up and said, "Argh! I forgot the dessert! I'll just get it."
But how Jinwoo wiped his tears on his cheeks before he left the dining area was not left unnoticed by Mino.
Right there, Mino’s determination to write his article became stronger. He thought his article would somehow protect Jinwoo against Mr. Kwon if the inn owner wouldn’t file a counterclaim. However, he scolded himself. As a journalist, he shouldn’t be subjective. But Jinwoo was leading his article to become a very objective one.
xxx