[SERIES] Latching on to the Traitor (10/??): To Make You Fall In Love Again
Hello, my fellow Minwoo minions~! I have no other words but I'm really sorry. It's been more than a year since I last updated any of my chaptered fanfics. It's not that I abandoned them, it's just I don't have the right feelings to update them. Plus blame the writer's block. I did some Minwoo drabbles and short stories. You can follow me on Twitter (@kaijintaichou) for my Minwoo fanfic updates. ^^ Or visit my LJ page: gesakushasama.livejournal.com
And despite not updating it for one year, I really really appreciate the 39 upvotes "Latching On…" has received. I feel your love~! Thank you sooooooo much~!
Please enjoy and spread the Minwoo and Winner love~! ^^
LATCHING ON TO THE TRAITOR (by kaijin-taichou)
Chapter Ten - To Make You Fall In Love Again
Rating: PG or K+ (just to be safe)
Genre: Series; Angst (I can't believe I am writing angst); Romance (cringe!)
Main Characters: Kim Jinwoo, Song Minho,
Recurring Characters: Lee Seunghoon, Nam Taehyun, Kang Seungyoon, Kim Sungjoo
Pairing: Minwoo; MinoxJinwoo; Joowoo(?) or Jinjoo(?)
Summary: Mino feels abandoned when Jinwoo left YG Entertainment almost four years ago without a clear explanation. And now that Jinwoo's back as part of a new duo group, Mino doesn't want to share the same stage with a traitor.
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Chapter Ten
TO MAKE YOU FALL IN LOVE AGAIN
The sight of the building when Jinwoo stepped out of the car gave him a secured feeling. It seemed like it was been a while since he saw the building and actually entered it. When the door opened for him and his manager, Jinwoo breathed the air which felt like breathing after being saved from drowning. He needed something that relates to familiarity and YG building was giving him that feeling of familiarity. He was greeted by some whom he remembered and they wore that similar smile whenever they see him: sympathetic smile for someone who has amnesia.
As they passed by the corridor where posters of YG's roster of artists, Jinwoo stopped walking and stared at the poster of a certain group. The group in which he once belonged to. Winner. He hated that feeling that he couldn't remember how it felt seeing himself with the four members. He hated that feeling that he waited to be part of these artists, pictures being displayed at this corridor but he couldn't remember that brief time of his life.
"So, what do you want to know first?"
Jinwoo looked at Sungjoo whose forearms were resting on their kitchen countertop, waiting from him to talk.
"Are you sure you're going to tell me everything, Sungjoo-yah?" he asked carefully.
"Not everything, hyung. But some facts that might help you feel better," the younger guy offered a kind smile.
Jinwoo sighed. Now that Sungjoo was willing to somehow tell him what happened before he lost his memories, he felt scared. Was he ready for the answers to his questions?
"Why did I leave YG Entertainment?"
It was the first question that came to his mind. Jinwoo thought that if he had the answer to this question, he might be able to understand more. He might be able to understand why Mino was crying when he left the dorm.
"Hyung, I'm not sure if you could still remember this but Yang-sajangnim wasn't really fond of us, right?" Sungjoo started. Jinwoo could tell that he was choosing his words and the tone of his voice suggested that he was trying not to badmouth their former boss.
And of course, he still knew that fact. "That's it? Is that the only reason why I left the YG Entertainment? I can live with his harsh comments, you know that." Jinwoo tried to lighten up the mood.
Sungjoo sighed deeply. "Actually, Jinwoo-hyung. You didn't leave the agency on your own. You were forced to leave the agency. Seungri-hyung was somewhat involved in some scandal and it was like Yang-sajangmin used that opportunity to get rid of you. Seungri-hyung was helpless that time because he knew what our former boss was capable of."
YG himself kicked him out of the agency, Jinwoo was deeply hurt. He considered that man his second father. He treated his harsh comments as some feedback that a father would tell his son for him to succeed. He already accepted the fact that he wasn't YG's favorite but Jinwoo thought if it was really necessary for YG to remove him from his company.
Thinking about how YG seemed to hate him, the air he was breathing somewhat felt poisonous. It was as though he was about to step on the enemy's line.
He knew he deserved that short moment of being called a YG artist. He looked back at all the YG artists at the corridor. Did they suffer the same treatment from YG? Jinwoo looked at Winner's poster again. Did they suffer the same treatment from him?
Then Jinwoo found himself looking at a particular member of the group. He had so many questions for Song Minho but he just sighed. He didn't know if he was ready to see him.
He and his manager were escorted by a YG staff until they reached a meeting room. The room was familiar. Very familiar, if Jinwoo had to emphasize. It was one of those things he remembered and yet, when he bowed to greet the people inside the room, Jinwoo felt he was surrounded by people he barely knew, at least for now that he lost his memories.
He bowed again at Yang Minseok, YG's co-CEO and his former boss' brother. The older guy smiled at him and shook his hand then gave him a hug.
"I'm so happy you're alive, Jinwoo-yah. I'm sorry if I wasn't able to see you as soon as you recovered," the younger CEO apologized.
Jinwoo smiled at Minseok and told him not to worry and he was glad to see him again. YG's brother gestured him to sit down on a chair beside him, which was adjacent to Seungyoon's chair. The leader smiled at him. Jinwoo smiled back then looked at the other guys beside Seungyoon. On his right side were Seunghoon and Taehyun, giving him assuring smiles. And on Seungyoon's left side was the person Jinwoo wasn't sure if he wanted to see or wanted to avoid. Mino was looking at him, as though piercing his soul, wanting to know what he was thinking as of that moment.
Jinwoo didn't know what to think. He didn’t want to think.
"Mino-yah told me in the hospital that I wouldn’t want any of my memories that were associated with him. Why did we break-up?"
Jinwoo saw how Sungjoo bit his lip before he answered. He knew that his best friend wasn't sure how to answer that. And how he would answer it without adding whatever not-so-loving feelings he was having for Mino now.
"Because you want him to stay in YG. You don't want Mino-hyung's dreams to shatter because of you," Sungjoo explained.
"But why? Why didn't he follow me when I left the agency? He knew the reason, right?" Jinwoo asked again. He didn't know why his voice was shaking.
"You made us swear, especially the others, not to tell Mino-hyung-"
"But you found out! As soon as I left the company, you found out! Seungyoon-ah also learned the truth eventually! But why not him? Why?!" Jinwoo bellowed. Sungjoo looked shocked with his reaction.
"But hyung, it was your idea. You did it for Mino-hyung. It was a selfless deed-"
"I know that! But Sungjoo-yah, why? Why are you here with me and not Mino-yah? If it was really him that I loved, why am I with you? If he loved me, he would have known at once, right? Or… did he really…" Jinwoo looked away from Sungjoo as he wiped his tears. He was crying but he didn't know why. He felt like his current emotions were his feelings that were piled up after all those years.
"Jinwoo-hyung…"
"Jinwoo-hyung?"
Jinwoo snapped back to reality when he heard Seungyoon's voice.
"Yeah. I'm sorry. What is it again?" Jinwoo smiled apologetically.
"It seems like you're not making any progress in regaining your memory. And Mino-yah here, according to the boys, is having nightmares at night. I believe this is a trauma for his part. I personally know a professional who could help you. But he is not here in Korea. He's in Japan. So, the company is offering this to you, Jinwoo-yah. Why don't you and Mino go to Japan and get a treatment from this doctor? YG Entertainment will pay for it," Minseok explained to him.
Jinwoo looked at his manager who was looking at him, obviously considering the offer. He looked at Seunghoon, Taehyun, and Seungyoon. They were encouraging him. And finally, he looked at Mino.
He looked at his eyes. Jinwoo wondered if Mino could see in his doe eyes all his questions. All his whys. All his emotions.
The more he looked at Mino and stare at him, the more he felt as though the rapper was pulling him into him. Jinwoo gulped nervously. He wanted answers first. He wanted to know everything that happened between him and Mino.
He won't allow himself to be pulled by that force from Mino.
"Thanks for the offer but I refuse," Jinwoo declined which surprised everyone in the room so he gave them an explanation.
"I… I'm… As of this moment, I don't want to remember anything, to be honest," Jinwoo stopped as gasps were all over the room. Then he continued, "I am scared that my memories and my current emotions right now don't match. I'm sorry."
Jinwoo looked at Mino. "If you want to get treated, please do so," he said quickly.
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Jinwoo ignored the vibration of his phone inside his pocket. He didn't need his manager to nag at him while Sungjoo nagged at him as well for declining Yang Minseok's offer.
"I'm just relieved that YG's offer is open anytime. Change your mind, Jinwoo-yah!" his manager scolded him.
He was about to reply when he heard someone cleared his throat.
"Can I talk to you for a minute, Jinwoo-hyung?" Mino asked him. It was too formal that Jinwoo wondered what happened to the Mino he was just talking to before. The happy virus Mino. The guy he thought was a friend whom he was very close to.
Before Jinwoo could answer, his manager patted Mino's shoulder politely and said, "Please convince our Jinwoo-yah."
The two watched the manager walk away from them. They stood there awkwardly, not knowing how to start a conversation.
"The practice rooms are near here. I think we can talk there," Jinwoo said. Mino nodded and they walked down the hall until they reached an empty practice room.
As they entered the room, Jinwoo looked around. YG's practice rooms were basically his home back in his trainee days.
"I'm not sure if you could remember but this is where we first met, Jinwoo-hyung," Mino said. Jinwoo looked at him through the mirror as Mino looked back at him but Mino averted his gaze first.
"I… I just want to apologize. I'm sorry about the other day. It was rude of me," Mino said, looking at the floor.
"It's okay. I'm glad it happened. After you left, Sungjoo clarified some things to me," Jinwoo replied as he faced Mino. The rapper looked at him again nervously.
"Did he tell you everything?" Mino asked quietly.
"Not everything. But he told me about us," Jinwoo said, maintaining his gaze at Mino. When the other guy in the room didn't talk, Jinwoo went on.
"The things you want me to remember about you, about us, Sungjoo told me some. But rather than making things clear, it created more questions."
Jinwoo paused as he waited for Mino to say something. But the rapper remained silent.
"I have so many questions to ask you, Mino-yah," Jinwoo said as he went closer to Mino. The younger guy faced him as Jinwoo stopped in front of Mino.
"It wasn't Sungjoo whom I had a relationship with. It was with you, right, Mino-yah?" Jinwoo watched Mino nod but his mouth was still shut.
"Why did we break up?" Jinwoo asked.
"Sungjoo-yah didn't tell you?" Mino answered him with a question instead.
"He told me it would be better to ask you or to know it when my memories come back," Jinwoo lied.
"To protect me and my dreams," Mino answered.
Jinwoo bit his lip. "Am… am I not worthy to be protected too? Are my dreams not worthy to protect as well?" He felt his words were just whispers. Jinwoo felt his whispered words were stabbing his heart.
"You are one of the most important people in my life that I would die for just to protect, Jinwoo-hyung," Mino replied softly, contrasting the tension that was starting to build up between them.
Jinwoo looked at Mino, on the rapper's eyes, and he had never seen anyone as sincere as Mino was at that moment.
But it made Jinwoo more confused. He could clearly see he was really loved by Mino and maybe he still loves him. Before he could stop himself from speaking, Jinwoo uttered.
"Then why? Why did you let me leave you?"
"Hyung, I didn't know-"
"Then why didn't you try to find out why I left? Why… why did it take you so long?" Jinwoo interrupted, surprisingly with a soft voice. Funny because when he was thinking of this scenario in his mind last night before he slept, Jinwoo was sure that he would be shouting at Mino. He was surprised that he was able to yell at Sungjoo but he couldn't at Mino.
"Because I'm stupid, Jinwoo-hyung. I was selfish. I… I…" Mino's voice was shaking and Jinwoo's chest tightened as he looked at Mino.
"Did… did you ever love me?"
Mino was shocked by Jinwoo's question. It was very evident. Jinwoo watched the tanned rapper how he opened his mouth to talk but would end up just biting his lip. Jinwoo watched as Mino covered his mouth with his trembling hand.
At that moment, Jinwoo didn't need his memories to know why he wanted to protect Mino so badly.
"Mino-yah, I didn't mean-"
Mino smiled at him sadly while shaking his head. "No, please, Jinwoo-hyung. I… I understand. I think this might have been what you were feeling for the past years. When you left, I felt that you abandoned me but it wasn't the case. I abandoned you. And you, questioning if I ever loved you… it's…"
Jinwoo wanted Mino to stop talking. It wasn't only the rapper's voice that was telling the former Winner member that he was hurting so much but his eyes also reflected all Mino's feelings, as though his tears weren't enough to express them.
"…it's normal. I could tell you anytime and any day that I loved you and I still do but in the end, it's up to you if you would believe me or not."
Mino paused. "Jinwoo-hyung, can I… can I hold your hand?"
It wasn't as though he didn't have a choice. In fact, Jinwoo extended his hand immediately towards Mino. He wanted to comfort the younger guy and if holding his hand would take away Mino's pain somehow, Jinwoo would hold his hand.
As Mino intertwined their fingers together, Jinwoo couldn't help but feel that their hands fit together. It was comfortable, so comfortable Jinwoo didn't mind when Mino squeezed his hand.
"Jinwoo-hyung, come to Japan with me. Let me make you feel loved. Let me help you remember again. Or if you can't, let's create new memories," Mino tried to convince him.
Jinwoo just stared at Mino. Just because he didn't want to see Mino hurting and their hands fit together didn't mean he would say yes. However, the next words that came out from Mino shook Jinwoo up to his core.
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"Well, well, well, Jinwoo-hyung."
Jinwoo rolled his eyes as Sungjoo welcomed him with a teasing smile. He was about to drink his orange juice when Jinwoo snatched the glass from him and drank the juice.
"Hey!" Sungjoo cried.
Jinwoo sat down on the tool chair at their kitchen countertop. "So, did I make the right decision?"
Sungjoo laughed. "Judging by how hysterical our manager was when he first called me, I should say, you made the perfect decision."
After Jinwoo laughed at his best friend's reply, he sighed worriedly. "I hope I did."
Sungjoo tapped his shoulder. "I wouldn't be able to put the right words together better than Mino-yah. I hope your feelings now are somehow the same with how you used to feel before you lost your memories." Sungjoo winked and left him alone in their kitchen.
Jinwoo sighed again. His decision might be made on spur of the moment but he felt Mino's sincerity and determination when he said those words.
"I will make you fall in love with me again, Kim Jinwoo."
Remembering what Mino told him a while ago, Jinwoo blushed. He shouldn't be but when Mino told him those words, his heart beat fast. A simple nod was all Jinwoo could manage to do. And when Mino smiled at him, Jinwoo was unsure why the only thing he could hear was his heartbeat. He didn't even notice that he was already inside the van with his manager who was thanking him for accepting YG Entertainment's offer.
During his ride to the dorm, Jinwoo wondered why his heart didn't thump so much when he thought he was in love with Sungjoo. Yes, he blushed but his heartbeat was normal and calm.
Now Jinwoo realized that when he hung out with Mino before he found out about the truth, his heart was never calm. It seemed to want to get out of his chest and drop on Mino's hand.
Jinwoo shook his head and covered his flustered face. Jinwoo wouldn't let Sungjoo see him or else his best friend would tease him nonstop. And he wouldn't let how hard his heart beat dictate what he should feel about Mino.
It was impossible to be still in love with a person who now is, technically speaking, a stranger. He told himself over and over again.
"I'm right... am I not?" Jinwoo asked himself.
xxx