[Salyssa] compassion is a virtue of the shadow
I am somewhat amused at finding that my sense of guilt is almost completely reversed from what most people would consider appropriate.
In the case of the new recruit, the death knight troll called Dri Redtusk, most people would feel guilty about evaluating him objectively, looking for possible uses he could be put to, wondering how to best cultivate him towards the best advantage for their own cause. I feel mildly guilty that I cannot think of him in such terms. He is hardly an innocent... but he wants to learn. He understands that he is ignorant of many things, and it bothers him, so he is working to correct that. After having met so very many people who cherish their ignorance, coddle and protect and honor it, utterly refuse to even consider the possibility that they might (the greatest horror of all!) be wrong--I treasure his curiosity. I want to indulge him, teach him.
He obviously does not know how to write or read, at least very well. Orcish is a fairly simple language, and Gutterspeak not much more complex, at least at the basic level. I will attempt to help him learn both. I will most certainly talk to him, honestly and kindly, about the status of the undead in the Horde... both how others perceive us, and how we rely on each other, especially within Curse. That shaman was being relatively kind to him, but the talk still seemed to disturb Dri with doubts. Entirely understandable; troll culture is not kind in its opinions on the undead, so he almost certainly has quite a bit of self-directed anger, fear, and disgust to deal with. I would spare him as much of that as possible. I could refer him to the Doctor, but I honestly think that it might be better for me to speak to him gently first. The Doctor's zeal and occasional lapses in perception can cause him to be unknowingly frightening in the force of his convictions. There will be time for that; better that his concerns be answered delicately first.
Perhaps I am thinking of his usefulness after all... I would much rather see his spirit founded in strength, as he enters this phase of unlife; he will be much more useful to us all if he is confident and sure of himself, rather than timid and full of self-loathing.
I need to make an appointment with Dryx, to address the matter of his soul that I brought up earlier. I find that I am enjoying his company greatly. It is so refreshing not to have to worry about his "feelings"--if he has any, he keeps them under masterful control. The only thing he seems to care passionately about (aside from toys and snakes) is killing people. This makes him excellent company on the battlegrounds. We have saved each others' lives several times, and while I am not so naive as to think that this gives us some kind of special bond of trust, I think I would not be incorrect to believe that we have a better understanding of each other than we would have if we simply spoke together in social circumstances. I still know virtually nothing about him, other than that his past is troubled, and he is in the Doctor's employ. Perhaps someday he will choose to speak to me about such things; I will not pressure him to do so merely to satisfy my own curiosity.
In the case of the new recruit, the death knight troll called Dri Redtusk, most people would feel guilty about evaluating him objectively, looking for possible uses he could be put to, wondering how to best cultivate him towards the best advantage for their own cause. I feel mildly guilty that I cannot think of him in such terms. He is hardly an innocent... but he wants to learn. He understands that he is ignorant of many things, and it bothers him, so he is working to correct that. After having met so very many people who cherish their ignorance, coddle and protect and honor it, utterly refuse to even consider the possibility that they might (the greatest horror of all!) be wrong--I treasure his curiosity. I want to indulge him, teach him.
He obviously does not know how to write or read, at least very well. Orcish is a fairly simple language, and Gutterspeak not much more complex, at least at the basic level. I will attempt to help him learn both. I will most certainly talk to him, honestly and kindly, about the status of the undead in the Horde... both how others perceive us, and how we rely on each other, especially within Curse. That shaman was being relatively kind to him, but the talk still seemed to disturb Dri with doubts. Entirely understandable; troll culture is not kind in its opinions on the undead, so he almost certainly has quite a bit of self-directed anger, fear, and disgust to deal with. I would spare him as much of that as possible. I could refer him to the Doctor, but I honestly think that it might be better for me to speak to him gently first. The Doctor's zeal and occasional lapses in perception can cause him to be unknowingly frightening in the force of his convictions. There will be time for that; better that his concerns be answered delicately first.
Perhaps I am thinking of his usefulness after all... I would much rather see his spirit founded in strength, as he enters this phase of unlife; he will be much more useful to us all if he is confident and sure of himself, rather than timid and full of self-loathing.
I need to make an appointment with Dryx, to address the matter of his soul that I brought up earlier. I find that I am enjoying his company greatly. It is so refreshing not to have to worry about his "feelings"--if he has any, he keeps them under masterful control. The only thing he seems to care passionately about (aside from toys and snakes) is killing people. This makes him excellent company on the battlegrounds. We have saved each others' lives several times, and while I am not so naive as to think that this gives us some kind of special bond of trust, I think I would not be incorrect to believe that we have a better understanding of each other than we would have if we simply spoke together in social circumstances. I still know virtually nothing about him, other than that his past is troubled, and he is in the Doctor's employ. Perhaps someday he will choose to speak to me about such things; I will not pressure him to do so merely to satisfy my own curiosity.