(no subject)
Life, love and the pursuit of the one to keep your broken heart from being scattered in the wind...damnit all. Things have been so crazy lately, I just don't know what to do. I know what I want to do but I also know how unrealistic it is. Sometimes I think how much easier it would be to be dumped rather than both of us to want something that we can't have right now. I never thought I would really meet someone who makes me so complete, makes me smile so much, holds me just right, kisses me so perfectly, makes me laugh and even knows when it's right to just stare into each others eyes and fall asleep without a word. It seems so fast but maybe it wasn't, we've been talking for a while and I'm not saying that I want to make this a lifetime thing right now but I am saying that I care so deeply and I never thought I had it in me to care so deeply for someone. I guess a million things could change between now and whenever I am truly ready to settle down and look at getting married and starting a family and whatever but right now, I don't know. I wake up thinking about the person I fell asleep thinking about, I walk to class and realize the same thoughts are crossing my mind again. As I am pressing the elevator button I think about walking on to the elevator with that special person and I know that whenever I make it back to the club or showtunes or betty's or when I drive past the statehouse I'll think back to the weekend we spent together and when I get in my car my hand will want to travel towards the passenger seat though this time it will be empty. I think I'm a logical and rational person and I don't think this is just a passing whim, I keep trying to convince myself that this is anything but the real deal and each time I try to say it is something other than that crazy *l* word I only convince myself more that it is and it is scary but when my phone rings and I see who is calling...my heart beats a little faster and my smile gets a little bigger and my voice gets a little higher and my eyes a little brighter....and the picture of us....it's the best picture I have of me....it's the happiest picture I have of me....I guess only time will tell and we have time to tell us...
Gertie
Gertie