(no subject)
Name of Recipient: ninesnowflakes
Type of Gift: Fanfiction
Rating: PG-13
Title: Fixing Their Worry
Summary: The nightmares aren't as frightening as the worries.
Author Notes: I hope you enjoy this ninesnowflakes!
--
“I love you!” the little blond shouted as he marched off, leading his army to war.
“I- I love you too!” a little brunet stuttered, flailing with tears in his eyes as he gripped onto his oversized broom, “T- take care of yourself! I'll wait for you, I promise!”
And the little Italian did wait, he waited and waited. After a few months he began to panic, his little mind not fully understanding the implications of war. A kind, emerald-eyed woman would usually hold him comfortingly and tell him not to worry, everything would be alright and the boy would nod and fall asleep in her warm embrace. As time passed he searched for the blond boy, at first only in the backyard of his residence but as he grew older, he searched every corner of his country tirelessly, almost obsessively.
Every time his search would prove to have been a mere waste of time and the boy would return to his home, a knot of despair in his chest and tears flooding his chocolaty eyes. He would drag himself to his room and drop numbly onto his bed, vowing to try again the following day before his exhausted body fell into dreamland. The boy would usually dream of finally finding that blond boy and having an extremely happy and tear-filled reunion with him and that was enough to keep the brunet going. Usually, when he awoke the next day, his tears would have thoroughly soaked his pillow.
Feliciano has had this dream for as long as he can remember.
He assumes it's just his mind replaying memories in an effort to prevent him from forgetting his goal, the one thing he wishes to achieve in his life. Feliciano knows, knows he's cowardly and silly and useless but there's nothing that he wants more, he wants to see Holy Roman Empire one more time. Feliciano has been angry with himself ever since he realized that he let his first love slip away from him and he hasn't been able to find the blond ever since, maybe that's why Feliciano has developed the complex that he has. He fears losing the people important to him. He can't cope with the thought of losing any of them, that must be the reason why he's so physical with his affection.
Why he's touchy-feely and clingy to everyone he likes.
He realizes this one night when he's lying in his bed alone and the realization is almost like a slap in the face. He rolls over onto his side, thinking deeply. He clings to Kiku a lot, and to his brother Lovino but, another realization comes to him, he clings to Ludwig the most. He rolls onto his back and tries to come up with an excuse for it. Kiku is a dear friend to him, Lovino is his dearest brother, and Ludwig? Ludwig is special. Yes that's it, Feliciano nods to himself, Ludwig is special to him. It's because Ludwig is always nice to him and takes care of him even when the Italian is nothing but a burden. It's because Ludwig is so nice.
It's because Ludwig reminds him of Holy Roman Empire.
Did this mean he was in love with Ludwig? Feliciano groans, he was not made for so much thinking, he was made for flailing around, waving white flags, taking siestas and eating pasta and pizza. He closes his eyes and drifts off into his regular, draining dream.
It's when Feliciano can no longer handle the nightmarish visions playing behind his eyelids that he runs to Ludwig's home and lays himself next to the sleeping German, hugging him and Feliciano finally falls into a restful sleep. Ludwig would wake up in the morning and freak out like he did every morning because he always panicked when he found Feliciano laying half-naked next to him and Feliciano, as always, would be able to forget about his concerns for another day.
-
But for some reason, when Ludwig has stopped yelling, Feliciano can't stop thinking about it all. Feliciano felt tired and couldn't find the will to be his usual, flailing and carefree self, and Ludwig notices. The German had the urge to ask - what's wrong, was it something I said? - but he figured it would sound too awkward coming from him so he kept his mouth shut, besides, Feliciano had his moments.
Feliciano didn't smile that day. And for the rest of the week he just drifted around from place to place and eventually began avoiding Ludwig altogether. That was when Ludwig finally became too worried to just sit back and watch. The German went to Kiku, he was sure the Japanese man could help him what with how intelligent he was and his skill at reading events and the atmosphere.
“Feliciano-san has been acting weird? But isn't he usually like that?”
“No,” Ludwig sighed, “this is different, it's like he's depressed about something. And he's also avoiding me...”
“Well then, the answer should be simple, right?” Kiku looked at him with a knowing smile.
Ludwig didn't get it though. “Well, what is it?”
Kiku chuckled, “Just ask him about it, Feliciano-san would be happy to complain to you if you asked him. Trust me.”
Ludwig had the feeling Kiku was keeping something from him but he was too occupied with worrying about Feliciano to ask Kiku about it. He looked at the sky absent-mindedly, “...Maybe you're right.”
The clouds were all curling in on each other.
-
Ludwig couldn't find Feliciano when he looked around for him at first and that worried him to no end because Feliciano wouldn't be anywhere else. So when night finally fell, he gave up on Feliciano's usual 'waste-all-my-time' locations and decided to check the other's home.
“What are you doing here, you damned potato-bastard!?” Ludwig should have known that Lovino would not have been thrilled to see him. Lovino scowled at him and leaned against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest, “What do you want?”
“Is Feliciano here?” Ludwig looked at everything except for the angry little Italian in front of him.
“Where else would he be jackass? Why do you care?” Lovino just seemed to get angrier.
I just want to make sure he's okay. “I want to see him,” Ludwig was tempted to just shove past him when all Lovino did was look Ludwig up and down before turning and walking back into his home, waving carelessly,
“Fine, whatever. But you better not try anything fishy you potato-sucker!” and with that Lovino left.
Only when Ludwig was left alone did he realize that he didn't really know where Feliciano was, but he figured the Italian just had to be in his home because he wasn't any where else, so he settled with peeking into every room he came across before he decided to go to the second floor as the first floor was void of all Italians by the name of Feliciano Vargas. He realized he was just as lost up there as he had been on the first floor. Nevertheless, he walked along the corridor, only stopping when he heard muffled sounds. The blond stopped his stride and slowly inched towards the room that seemed to produce the sounds. He pressed his ear gingerly to the closed door and confirmed his suspicions.
The room was sobbing.
But that couldn't be right, Ludwig rearranged that statement in his mind, there was - possibly - a person in the room, sobbing. That made more sense.
The German slowly creaked the door open and peered through the crack. In the darkness, warded off only by a thick stream of moonlight flowing through an opened window, he saw a lush head of auburn hair with a long curl sticking out of it buried in a pillow. Ludwig figured it must have been Feliciano.
So, Feliciano was crying and Ludwig had begun panicking in his usual silent confusion. Was it his fault? Was he a little too harsh on the Italian? Given he did yell at Feliciano a lot but that was for the Italian's own good, Ludwig really only wanted to help Feliciano look after himself, he was so careless that it worried Ludwig to no end. The German really just wanted to take good care of Feliciano, he really cared about the Italian in his own, awkward way.
And with that Ludwig burst into the room, yelling, “Feliciano!”
The man looked up, surprise in his watery eyes, “L-Ludwig?”
“Shut up potato-bastard!!” Lovino called from the first floor, “Keep that yelling up, and I'm going to kick your ass outta the house!”
Ludwig had forgotten about him.
Feliciano made a face at his brother's threat before he returned his attention to the man in front him. “W-why,” he stammered, “are y-you here?”
Ludwig stared at him dumbly for a while before he responded, “I was...” he nervously rubbed his head, “looking for you. You suddenly disappeared, it was strange and I was worried so...”
Feliciano's eyes widened. “Y-you... were worried about me?” his mouth hung open, a little dumbly.
Ludwig registered how incredibly misleading that statement was and attempted to make amends when suddenly there were arms wrapped tightly around him and Feliciano was making that strange 've' sound as he hugged the German to his heart's content.
“I was worried that Ludwig wouldn't like me!” Feliciano exclaimed as he rubbed his face against Ludwig's broad shoulder.
“W-why wouldn't I like you?” Ludwig stuttered, it seemed as though Feliciano was back to normal but then he looked up at Ludwig as though he were about to cry again.
“Because,” he hesitated, “because I always make things difficult for Ludwig, even when you warn me about something, I cause trouble!” Feliciano wailed.
Ludwig looked around, panicked yet again, Lovino would come up and throw him out if Feliciano continued like this. “Calm down, Feliciano! Don't cry,” Ludwig gripped the Italian's shoulders and looked him in the eyes, “I like you,” true enough, and in what way? “I like you a lot, so don't cry, okay?” Ludwig almost pleaded.
“R... really?” Feliciano studied him with his round, chocolatey eyes and Ludwig felt something register in his brain as the other hugged him again, “Yay! That's great because I, I like Ludwig a lot too!”
And Ludwig should have seen it coming because Feliciano was always clinging to him in ways he didn't cling to others but it still surprised the German and as he tried to ignore the relief flooding through him, he hugged the other.
“So, er...” Ludwig started, his head clear over the brunet's shoulder, “why were you in here crying, by yourself?” and Ludwig felt the other's smile retract into an uncharacteristic frown.
“I,” Feliciano shifted in the German's awkward embrace, “I didn't know what to do. Because... I realized,” he breathed deep before blurting out, “I realized that I liked Ludwig a lot and I didn't think that Ludwig would like me back! So I, I...” he seemed like he was at a loss for words.
Ludwig let the information sink into his analytical brain, trying to think of a good response before he began speaking, “Feliciano... it would be hard for anyone to dislike you,” Ludwig felt more confident as he continued, “and, I do like you, I really like you, so there's no reason for you to be sad!” Ludwig ran out of words. He wished confidence came with a love declaration attached to it so he could have told Feliciano of his attraction to the Italian in a prettier, more profound way but he supposed there was little he could do.
“That's not all,” Ludwig gave Feliciano a questioning look but allowed the smaller man to continue. The Italian tightened his grip on Ludwig, “I... I can't lose you. You or anyone else, because... I'll die if that happened!” Feliciano buried his face in Ludwig's chest.
Ludwig realized there was only so much he would be able to do to help Feliciano. Reassuring him was one of them. “Feliciano,” the man stiffened against Ludwig, as though he knew what the taller man was going to say, “you won't lose any of us,” the Italian whined a complaint and Ludwig was beginning to become annoyed with the interruptions, “so stop worrying okay?”
The Italian didn't budge.
Ludwig sighed and held Feliciano's face as carefully as he could, coaxing the brunet to look at him, “Stop crying Feliciano,” Ludwig tried with that confidence again, “it doesn't suit you, you look much better smiling, okay?”
Feliciano's face burned and he smiled broadly at the other, “Oh Ludwig I didn't know you were such a romantic!” he teased and Ludwig's face heated up as well, “but you'll have to prove it to me!”
“Prove what?”
“That you won't leave me, what else?”
Ludwig grinned, that would be difficult to prove, especially if a war were to come about, but, “Of course, I can more than prove it to you!”
Well, Ludwig was always up for a challenge.
Feliciano laughed as he hugged Ludwig tightly again and the German couldn't help but smile.
--
A/N: Happy holidays to ninesnowflakes, and to everyone else! I tried to put everything together neatly and believably but I guess that I ended up making it short. I hope I was able to write what you wanted though and that you enjoyed it!
Type of Gift: Fanfiction
Rating: PG-13
Title: Fixing Their Worry
Summary: The nightmares aren't as frightening as the worries.
Author Notes: I hope you enjoy this ninesnowflakes!
--
“I love you!” the little blond shouted as he marched off, leading his army to war.
“I- I love you too!” a little brunet stuttered, flailing with tears in his eyes as he gripped onto his oversized broom, “T- take care of yourself! I'll wait for you, I promise!”
And the little Italian did wait, he waited and waited. After a few months he began to panic, his little mind not fully understanding the implications of war. A kind, emerald-eyed woman would usually hold him comfortingly and tell him not to worry, everything would be alright and the boy would nod and fall asleep in her warm embrace. As time passed he searched for the blond boy, at first only in the backyard of his residence but as he grew older, he searched every corner of his country tirelessly, almost obsessively.
Every time his search would prove to have been a mere waste of time and the boy would return to his home, a knot of despair in his chest and tears flooding his chocolaty eyes. He would drag himself to his room and drop numbly onto his bed, vowing to try again the following day before his exhausted body fell into dreamland. The boy would usually dream of finally finding that blond boy and having an extremely happy and tear-filled reunion with him and that was enough to keep the brunet going. Usually, when he awoke the next day, his tears would have thoroughly soaked his pillow.
Feliciano has had this dream for as long as he can remember.
He assumes it's just his mind replaying memories in an effort to prevent him from forgetting his goal, the one thing he wishes to achieve in his life. Feliciano knows, knows he's cowardly and silly and useless but there's nothing that he wants more, he wants to see Holy Roman Empire one more time. Feliciano has been angry with himself ever since he realized that he let his first love slip away from him and he hasn't been able to find the blond ever since, maybe that's why Feliciano has developed the complex that he has. He fears losing the people important to him. He can't cope with the thought of losing any of them, that must be the reason why he's so physical with his affection.
Why he's touchy-feely and clingy to everyone he likes.
He realizes this one night when he's lying in his bed alone and the realization is almost like a slap in the face. He rolls over onto his side, thinking deeply. He clings to Kiku a lot, and to his brother Lovino but, another realization comes to him, he clings to Ludwig the most. He rolls onto his back and tries to come up with an excuse for it. Kiku is a dear friend to him, Lovino is his dearest brother, and Ludwig? Ludwig is special. Yes that's it, Feliciano nods to himself, Ludwig is special to him. It's because Ludwig is always nice to him and takes care of him even when the Italian is nothing but a burden. It's because Ludwig is so nice.
It's because Ludwig reminds him of Holy Roman Empire.
Did this mean he was in love with Ludwig? Feliciano groans, he was not made for so much thinking, he was made for flailing around, waving white flags, taking siestas and eating pasta and pizza. He closes his eyes and drifts off into his regular, draining dream.
It's when Feliciano can no longer handle the nightmarish visions playing behind his eyelids that he runs to Ludwig's home and lays himself next to the sleeping German, hugging him and Feliciano finally falls into a restful sleep. Ludwig would wake up in the morning and freak out like he did every morning because he always panicked when he found Feliciano laying half-naked next to him and Feliciano, as always, would be able to forget about his concerns for another day.
-
But for some reason, when Ludwig has stopped yelling, Feliciano can't stop thinking about it all. Feliciano felt tired and couldn't find the will to be his usual, flailing and carefree self, and Ludwig notices. The German had the urge to ask - what's wrong, was it something I said? - but he figured it would sound too awkward coming from him so he kept his mouth shut, besides, Feliciano had his moments.
Feliciano didn't smile that day. And for the rest of the week he just drifted around from place to place and eventually began avoiding Ludwig altogether. That was when Ludwig finally became too worried to just sit back and watch. The German went to Kiku, he was sure the Japanese man could help him what with how intelligent he was and his skill at reading events and the atmosphere.
“Feliciano-san has been acting weird? But isn't he usually like that?”
“No,” Ludwig sighed, “this is different, it's like he's depressed about something. And he's also avoiding me...”
“Well then, the answer should be simple, right?” Kiku looked at him with a knowing smile.
Ludwig didn't get it though. “Well, what is it?”
Kiku chuckled, “Just ask him about it, Feliciano-san would be happy to complain to you if you asked him. Trust me.”
Ludwig had the feeling Kiku was keeping something from him but he was too occupied with worrying about Feliciano to ask Kiku about it. He looked at the sky absent-mindedly, “...Maybe you're right.”
The clouds were all curling in on each other.
-
Ludwig couldn't find Feliciano when he looked around for him at first and that worried him to no end because Feliciano wouldn't be anywhere else. So when night finally fell, he gave up on Feliciano's usual 'waste-all-my-time' locations and decided to check the other's home.
“What are you doing here, you damned potato-bastard!?” Ludwig should have known that Lovino would not have been thrilled to see him. Lovino scowled at him and leaned against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest, “What do you want?”
“Is Feliciano here?” Ludwig looked at everything except for the angry little Italian in front of him.
“Where else would he be jackass? Why do you care?” Lovino just seemed to get angrier.
I just want to make sure he's okay. “I want to see him,” Ludwig was tempted to just shove past him when all Lovino did was look Ludwig up and down before turning and walking back into his home, waving carelessly,
“Fine, whatever. But you better not try anything fishy you potato-sucker!” and with that Lovino left.
Only when Ludwig was left alone did he realize that he didn't really know where Feliciano was, but he figured the Italian just had to be in his home because he wasn't any where else, so he settled with peeking into every room he came across before he decided to go to the second floor as the first floor was void of all Italians by the name of Feliciano Vargas. He realized he was just as lost up there as he had been on the first floor. Nevertheless, he walked along the corridor, only stopping when he heard muffled sounds. The blond stopped his stride and slowly inched towards the room that seemed to produce the sounds. He pressed his ear gingerly to the closed door and confirmed his suspicions.
The room was sobbing.
But that couldn't be right, Ludwig rearranged that statement in his mind, there was - possibly - a person in the room, sobbing. That made more sense.
The German slowly creaked the door open and peered through the crack. In the darkness, warded off only by a thick stream of moonlight flowing through an opened window, he saw a lush head of auburn hair with a long curl sticking out of it buried in a pillow. Ludwig figured it must have been Feliciano.
So, Feliciano was crying and Ludwig had begun panicking in his usual silent confusion. Was it his fault? Was he a little too harsh on the Italian? Given he did yell at Feliciano a lot but that was for the Italian's own good, Ludwig really only wanted to help Feliciano look after himself, he was so careless that it worried Ludwig to no end. The German really just wanted to take good care of Feliciano, he really cared about the Italian in his own, awkward way.
And with that Ludwig burst into the room, yelling, “Feliciano!”
The man looked up, surprise in his watery eyes, “L-Ludwig?”
“Shut up potato-bastard!!” Lovino called from the first floor, “Keep that yelling up, and I'm going to kick your ass outta the house!”
Ludwig had forgotten about him.
Feliciano made a face at his brother's threat before he returned his attention to the man in front him. “W-why,” he stammered, “are y-you here?”
Ludwig stared at him dumbly for a while before he responded, “I was...” he nervously rubbed his head, “looking for you. You suddenly disappeared, it was strange and I was worried so...”
Feliciano's eyes widened. “Y-you... were worried about me?” his mouth hung open, a little dumbly.
Ludwig registered how incredibly misleading that statement was and attempted to make amends when suddenly there were arms wrapped tightly around him and Feliciano was making that strange 've' sound as he hugged the German to his heart's content.
“I was worried that Ludwig wouldn't like me!” Feliciano exclaimed as he rubbed his face against Ludwig's broad shoulder.
“W-why wouldn't I like you?” Ludwig stuttered, it seemed as though Feliciano was back to normal but then he looked up at Ludwig as though he were about to cry again.
“Because,” he hesitated, “because I always make things difficult for Ludwig, even when you warn me about something, I cause trouble!” Feliciano wailed.
Ludwig looked around, panicked yet again, Lovino would come up and throw him out if Feliciano continued like this. “Calm down, Feliciano! Don't cry,” Ludwig gripped the Italian's shoulders and looked him in the eyes, “I like you,” true enough, and in what way? “I like you a lot, so don't cry, okay?” Ludwig almost pleaded.
“R... really?” Feliciano studied him with his round, chocolatey eyes and Ludwig felt something register in his brain as the other hugged him again, “Yay! That's great because I, I like Ludwig a lot too!”
And Ludwig should have seen it coming because Feliciano was always clinging to him in ways he didn't cling to others but it still surprised the German and as he tried to ignore the relief flooding through him, he hugged the other.
“So, er...” Ludwig started, his head clear over the brunet's shoulder, “why were you in here crying, by yourself?” and Ludwig felt the other's smile retract into an uncharacteristic frown.
“I,” Feliciano shifted in the German's awkward embrace, “I didn't know what to do. Because... I realized,” he breathed deep before blurting out, “I realized that I liked Ludwig a lot and I didn't think that Ludwig would like me back! So I, I...” he seemed like he was at a loss for words.
Ludwig let the information sink into his analytical brain, trying to think of a good response before he began speaking, “Feliciano... it would be hard for anyone to dislike you,” Ludwig felt more confident as he continued, “and, I do like you, I really like you, so there's no reason for you to be sad!” Ludwig ran out of words. He wished confidence came with a love declaration attached to it so he could have told Feliciano of his attraction to the Italian in a prettier, more profound way but he supposed there was little he could do.
“That's not all,” Ludwig gave Feliciano a questioning look but allowed the smaller man to continue. The Italian tightened his grip on Ludwig, “I... I can't lose you. You or anyone else, because... I'll die if that happened!” Feliciano buried his face in Ludwig's chest.
Ludwig realized there was only so much he would be able to do to help Feliciano. Reassuring him was one of them. “Feliciano,” the man stiffened against Ludwig, as though he knew what the taller man was going to say, “you won't lose any of us,” the Italian whined a complaint and Ludwig was beginning to become annoyed with the interruptions, “so stop worrying okay?”
The Italian didn't budge.
Ludwig sighed and held Feliciano's face as carefully as he could, coaxing the brunet to look at him, “Stop crying Feliciano,” Ludwig tried with that confidence again, “it doesn't suit you, you look much better smiling, okay?”
Feliciano's face burned and he smiled broadly at the other, “Oh Ludwig I didn't know you were such a romantic!” he teased and Ludwig's face heated up as well, “but you'll have to prove it to me!”
“Prove what?”
“That you won't leave me, what else?”
Ludwig grinned, that would be difficult to prove, especially if a war were to come about, but, “Of course, I can more than prove it to you!”
Well, Ludwig was always up for a challenge.
Feliciano laughed as he hugged Ludwig tightly again and the German couldn't help but smile.
--
A/N: Happy holidays to ninesnowflakes, and to everyone else! I tried to put everything together neatly and believably but I guess that I ended up making it short. I hope I was able to write what you wanted though and that you enjoyed it!