Comments | gertalia_santa: [fic] for Midori

chromatic_coma in gertalia_santa

[fic] for Midori_Lover!

Dec 20, 2010 17:52

Name of Recipient: midori_lover
Type of Gift: Fanfiction
Rating: PG-13/T
Title: Taboo
Summary: Ludwig's heart palpitates unnaturally every time Mr. Vargas' tongue darts out to lick those luscious lips of his. But no, it's not possible for him to be falling for his teacher... is it?
Author Notes: I hope you enjoy this, midori_lover!

( Sprawled on the floor, with papers fallen all around them, are the most perfect pair of legs Ludwig has ever been blessed enough to see in his entire life. )

Comments 37

lizzie8d December 20 2010, 23:57:32 UTC

Wow, this was gorgeous. <33 So unbelievably sweet and beautifully written. I loved this to pieces!

chromatic_coma December 21 2010, 00:33:27 UTC

Thank you <333

(The comment has been removed)

chromatic_coma December 21 2010, 00:35:53 UTC

Yes, the requester actually asked for Germany to be the student, and it was a lot of fun to write so I'm glad she did!

I... wow, I thought I included a line about that, but apparently not. e_e

On the day of his graduation Feliciano gave Ludwig his email address and phone number, yeah, so that's how they keep in touch once they can.

Thank you!

easterly December 21 2010, 00:14:49 UTC

So cuuuuute! I enjoyed this muchly, and your Ludwig was quite adorable. <3

chromatic_coma December 21 2010, 00:33:43 UTC

Hehe, I'm glad you think so! <3

ichii_lemoncat December 21 2010, 01:32:45 UTC

I love how it started out all pervy (which was awesome as well) but ended so sweet! Very well done!

chromatic_coma December 21 2010, 02:38:39 UTC

Yes, Germany's feelings definitely change as they go. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

counterheist December 21 2010, 03:16:42 UTC

Usually I don't particularly care for student-teacher stories, but I liked this. Ludwig's thoughts felt both very teenaged boy and very Ludwig (I like how he spent the entire piece in mental turmoil, he would). There are plenty of lines I'd like to quote back at you, but here's the one that made me laugh the most:

"It takes Ludwig a split second to decide that he cannot bear the thought of losing those forty-five minutes of staring at Mr. Vargas’ ass every day."

:D

Also: liked the Romano cameo, of course
Double: in your summary, did you mean 'palpitates' when you wrote 'palpates'? And I think you're missing a 'not' in this sentence: In hindsight, Ludwig will realize that keeping his nose buried in his schedule sheet is a very smart thing to do. There were a couple other small things like that, but it's still a cute story.

chromatic_coma December 21 2010, 03:25:56 UTC

I actually have mixed feelings about them because of the legal issues, but I believe that first and foremost if two people are in love then they find a way to make the relationship work and that's fine. So I wanted this to be a little more than just an illicit affair, and so they both had to wait, which was the compromise I had to deal with in order to feel safe writing it.

Metal turmoil would be him. He thinks into things too much, huh? xD

I figured you'd like seeing Romano ;)

Also, yes. I am afraid I was so hung up on tense issues I let a few little things pass right by me. I'll go back in and fix those things, thank you! <3

counterheist December 21 2010, 03:59:44 UTC

"if two people are in love then they find a way to make the relationship work and that's fine:" sounds legit to me. What usually gets me in student-teacher stories is a bit of the legality and bit of how it rarely ever actually feels like love. And a lot of the power issues. I think what worked here was that the characters took these things into account.

"I figured you'd like seeing Romano:" no idea why you'd think that! ;)

"tense issues:" ohmanohman I feel your pain on that. Did you find yourself slipping partway through back into past tense? That happens to me so much, it's such a pain to correct.

Also: I feel like I keep on pointing out little things, but the summary reads "Ludwig's heart palpitates nounnaturally" now...

chromatic_coma December 21 2010, 04:04:24 UTC

I agree. But I think it helps that the teacher is Feliciano, and he is very unlikely to force himself upon anyone, least of all someone he is supposed to be guiding. I think that's why he's so hesitant, but the child in him does want Ludwig close by, which is why he notices when he shies away.

Oh, just a feeling ;)

Yes, I think I went through it five or six times to be sure.

fuuuck i knew the 'no' went to the wrong place. I'm so, so sorry.