Waiting is the hardest part.
I. Going Forward.
In just over twelve hours, I will be doing what I have been preparing to do for the last ten years of my life.
In just over 24, I will know the results, one way or another, of the first attempt at the finale of my adolescent piano career.
In just over a week, I will be 2/3 of the way done with my entire college auditions process.
In just over a month, I will be out of High School.
I'm frightened. Excited. Nervous. I'm not exactly sure what to do with myself and all of this.
II. Lagging Behind.
Just 12 hours ago, I realized just how much work I need to do to finish off my High School career.
Just 24 hours ago, I finished being Billy.
Just over 30 hours ago, I found out that the one that I cared for would walk away non-chalantly, finding more comfort in another.
III. Standing Still.
Today I realized that I'm not quite as angry at so many things that I've been supposing to be for a while.
Today I realized that I'm really going to miss a lot of the people I've become attached to over the years, and just how close all of us have become.
Today I felt triumphant because I had control of today, which is something I haven't felt I've had in quite a while.
Today I realized that I'll be just fine, no matter what.
Today I realized that joy is not as temporary as happiness, and that both are attainable, from within rather than without.
In just over twelve hours, I will be doing what I have been preparing to do for the last ten years of my life.
In just over 24, I will know the results, one way or another, of the first attempt at the finale of my adolescent piano career.
In just over a week, I will be 2/3 of the way done with my entire college auditions process.
In just over a month, I will be out of High School.
I'm frightened. Excited. Nervous. I'm not exactly sure what to do with myself and all of this.
II. Lagging Behind.
Just 12 hours ago, I realized just how much work I need to do to finish off my High School career.
Just 24 hours ago, I finished being Billy.
Just over 30 hours ago, I found out that the one that I cared for would walk away non-chalantly, finding more comfort in another.
III. Standing Still.
Today I realized that I'm not quite as angry at so many things that I've been supposing to be for a while.
Today I realized that I'm really going to miss a lot of the people I've become attached to over the years, and just how close all of us have become.
Today I felt triumphant because I had control of today, which is something I haven't felt I've had in quite a while.
Today I realized that I'll be just fine, no matter what.
Today I realized that joy is not as temporary as happiness, and that both are attainable, from within rather than without.