SPN's The Wizard of Colt pt 1
The soft blue glow of the television lit Dean's sleeping features as Sam stretched to turn off the commercial in Bobby's living room. The twelve hour movie marathon had been exactly what they' needed to recoop after six weeks of nonstop hunting. Sam wiggled under the scratchy blanket that would never cover his chest and feet at the same time and closed his tired eyes. He heard the wind whip a tree branch violently into a nearby window and jumped suddenly. Sam peered out the window watching leaves and debris take flight around him. he cringed as a large tin can crashed into the Impala's windshield.
Turning back to the now empty couch he called for Dean and Bobby to no avail. The door creaked and slammed in the distance as Sam scampered to catch his balance. He felt the floor tilt under him. He tumbled to the ground, head hitting the corner of the coffee table as he went.
* * * * * * * *
Sam rubbed his sore head as he listened to the silence fill the living room. The hazy thought of how long he had blacked out flitted though his brain like a butterfly. He tried to catch it. Tried to remember how he wound up on his back flat on the floor. He slowly rose, fighting the spinning room and the splitting headache as he lumbered to the door.
As he turned the handle and stepped past the rickety threshold, Sam squinted against the too bright world streaming before him. Fighting the colors, he searched for the car. On further inspection, eyes suddenly accommodating the light, he realized the landscape he expected, Bobby's junkyard, was no where to be seen.
The rainbow of colored houses that surrounded him were small, barely coming to Sam's hip. He spun slowly, taking in his surroundings with confusion and dismay.
"Hello? Hello?" A gruff voice called to him from behind.
Sam turned to see a carbon copy of Bobby Singer standing before him. But the trucker hat was replaced with a diamond studded crown that he wore. "Bobby?" Sam squeaked.
"No! I'm Glinda the good witch! Yada yada yada. You killed my sister." Glinda scratched at his beard with the star end of his silver wand.
Sam peeked over his shoulder seeing long shapely legs peeking out from under his Bobby's house. "Um, okay. I'm.....I'm sorry? I didn't know.....
"Sorry? Are you an idjit? That bitch has been a pain in my ass since the womb. Good riddance!" The lacy skirt swooshed audibly as he spun around in haste. "Not to mention the way Lucy terrorized my little...."
Sam swallowed. "Munchkins?"
"You ain't from around here are ya?" Glinda squinted as he studied Sam slowly.
A slight nervous laugh escaped in a huff as Sam shook his head. "No sir.....Ma'am! No, just no."
"Hunters!" Glinda yelled, pulling a flurry of little flannel covered people out of the tiny houses. At least a hundred tiny guns and knives poised at Sam's knees at the ready. "Relax!" Glinda again, flinging the sparkly wand around the air to punctuate his command. "This.....giant, killed Lucy with his house."
The hunters' expressions turned suspicious as they stared at the giant. "By accident. I swear." Sam backed closer to Glinda for support. "There was a storm and the house.......it....." Sam rubbed his temples to stop the pounding. "It spun and fell....on top of Lucy. I didn't mean to kill anyone."
A loud rumble of cheers rose from the crowd of tiny people, a few gunshots into the air made Sam flinch.
"Yeah, yeah. Hurray for the Sasquatch." Glinda grumbled.
At that moment a tiny buzzing noise rose from the crowd, growing louder and louder until a tiny bump caused Sam to look down at his foot.
The little black toy car honked excitedly as it backed up and slammed into Sam's foot over and over.
Sam shook his head in denial. "No, no no."
"Friend of yours?" Glinda gestured toward the little car.
The car circled Sam's feet, her tiny engine revving over and over. "It just....it looks a lot like my brother's car." The car honked again. "But that can't ....it /can't/ be his baby." The car flipped on two wheels at the mention of her name. "Seriously?" Sam bent down, picking up the toy car gingerly. "Baby?" The honk was overwhelming.
"Well, at least you have some company on the road now." Glinda snapped his wand against a tree trunk.
"Down the yellow brick road?" Sam cringed.
Glinda screwed up his face. "What do they smoke where you're from?"
Sam sighed. "Okay. So what road?"
"That all depends on where you're going. Glinda huffed.
Sam's shoulder slumped in defeat. "I just wanna go home."
Glinda grumbled again, scratching his head around his tiara. "Route 3's gonna take ya through traffic. There's a good diner on Highway 95." He eyeballed Sam and shook his head. "Alright, you're gonna wanna take Highway 80 all the way north and hang a left onto Route 9."
Sam furrowed his brow. "And then I'll be home?"
"No." Glinda rolled his eyes. "That'll get ya to Crossroads City where you'll find the Wizard of Colt."
Sam blinked, digesting the information. "Wizard of Colt. Right. Okay. Thank you." Holding up the toy car with a wave he turned toward his laid path.
"Now wait just a cotton pickin minute." Glinda hollered.
Sam spun to face him. "What?"
"You've gotta take the shoes ya idjit." Glinda snapped.
Sam glaned at his tightly laced boots then back at Bobby and shrugged.
Bobby's eyes rolled again as he trudged over to Lucy's body in all his frothyness, lace catching along the hedged path. He yanked the shoes from the dead body and took them to Sam.
Sam pursed his lips, taking the red shoes from the frocked man. "What do I do with these?"
Glinda rolled his eyes. "Ya wear 'em dumbass. They'll help protect you from Crowley."
Sam shook his head in disbelief, still cradling the toy car under his arm. "Of course, what was I thinking?" He sat down the toy car and toed out of his boots, sliding into the red suede loafers. "Lovely." Scooping back up the toy car and his boots, he headed down the road with a wave.
A few miles down the road, Sam came to a wooded area off to his left. He strolled amongst the trees trying to find some shade and a place to rest. The toy car buzzed happily around his feet.
He settled under an apple tree and closed his eyes, listening to Baby's happy honk until a voice interrupted him.
"Hey, dude, ya got any pie?"
Sam sat up with a start, studying the road he had just left and then toward the direction he was headed.
"I ain't picky. Apples my fave, but I'll take cherry or peach or whatever." The voice continued.
Sam's head snapped around again, this time he recognized the voices timber. "Dean?"
A chuckle filled the air. "I don't know what a Dean is, but I'm a scarecrow. Behind ya!"
The trees rustled in the wind as Sam turned to peer behind the tree. The scarecrow hung perilously from a large wooden stake in the ground. His floppy hat dipped down and hid one bright green eye. The resemblance to his brother made Sam choke for a moment. He recovered quickly, scrambling to his feet. "I've never seen a talking scarecrow before."
"Yeah, well ya ain't in Kansas anymore."
Sam scoffed with a quizzical smile. "How'd you know I was from Kansas?"
"It was a joke. You have the same taste in checked patterns as the star off my fave movie Dorthey Does the Scarecrow." The strawman smirked and winked.
Sam looked down for the first time at his light blue and white checked shirt that covered his body. After a moment he pulled his attention back ot the scarecrow who's arm was now being pecked savagely by a large black bird. Sam watched as the bird began tossing stuffing from his beak into the air.
"Dude!" The strawman scoffed. "A little help here."
Sam's hands flailed as he tried to shoo the black bird off of his new companion.
The scarecrow followed suit, his arms waving from the elbows down where he wasn't restrained. The bird flew away quickly. "Geez, why didn't I think of that? You must be like a super geek or something."
Sam huffed a small laugh and lowered his gaze. "Something."
"I'm not good at the thinking stuff." He shrugged, straw floating to the ground from his newly torn holes.
Feet fidgeted as Sam chose his words carefully. "Baby and I are headed to the Crossroads City. You could tag along." He clasped his hands nervously. "Only if you wanted to."
The scarecrow wiggled his eye brows. "Crossroads City huh? Lottsa chicks there. "He pondered for a moment. "Whatcha going there for Geekboy?"
Sam closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh. "My name is Sam. I'm going to talk to the Wizard of Colt about getting me home. "He hesitated. "Maybe he could help you too."
The hat fluttered off in a gust of wind as the hanging man answered. "Yeah, yeah. Hey, maybe he could write me a recommendation to get into Crossroads University. Come on, Sammy. Get me down! We've got work to do."
Sam unfastened the scarecrow from his post, watching him stumble to the ground in a heap of limbs before righting himself. Baby made a beeline for the strawman's feet, racing around them as thye headed for the road.
"Nice wheels." The scarecrow smiled at the honking car.
Sam chuckled. "I had a feeling you two would get along."
* * * * * *
The ragtag group walked down the road for hours until they came to a service station. Sam went inside to grab snacks for himself and the strawman who had decided he wanted to be called SD. SD stood for Straw Dean, because the more the man hummed old seventies tunes and gawked at women that they chanced to meet, the more he reminded Sam of his brother at home.
SD was sitting on the ground outside the service station holding Baby protectively to him when Sam walked back out of the station. A flutter of khaki caught Sam's attention next to a pile of junk car parts. He handed SD a beef jerky and walked over to the pile. Moving a few tires out of the way, Sam came face to face iwth a shiny version of Castiel. He jumped back as the tin man toppled forward. The red button on his hip bumped a nearby steering wheel on his way down. A loud buzzing noise filled Sam's ears as lights began to blink along the man's arms and legs. He shot up, eyes flying open and meeting Sam's with a bright burst of blue. "Greetings. I am the Casbot 2009. I serve the ones above me. How may I help you?"
Sam blinked, peering over his shoulder then back at the Casbot. "Why are you in the junk pile?"
Casbot cocked his head. "Why are /you/ in the junk pile?"
"I .......well," Sam rubbed the back of his neck and frowned. "If you're a robot, why are you wearing a coat? You can't get cold."
Casbot looked down at his attire. "My clothes were chosen to put people at ease and convey a sense of compassion." He glanced back up at Sam. "Something I lack along with all forms of emotional sentiment."
"Of course, because you don't have a heart." Sam nodded.
"No, I do not posses a heart because I do not require blood to pump through my body. Although I do however posses a circuit board which pumps electrical currants through....."
Sam held up a hand. "Stop, stop. I understand. But, a heart is where humans contain emotion."
The head titled again. "No it is not. The heart is the organ that pumps blood through the vascular system. Emotions lie within the human brain and are fueled by the indocrin system. Which I do not posses either."
Sam rubbed a heavy hand down his face. "Thank you for clearing that up for me." He turned away from the tinman and began heading back to Baby and SD.
"I would very much like to learn more about human emotions." The Casbot ventured as he pulled himself from the pile of metal.
Sam glancedd back at him curiously. "I don't know if that's a good idea Cas."
Confusion fluttered the bright blue eyes. "I am the Casbot 2009. Why do you refer to me as /Cas/?"
Sam turned to face the robot again. "It's just a nickname. A shorter version of your name. People give nicknames to their friends."
The Casbot's eyes widened" So we are friends? It would be pleasing if I could reciprocate this feeling of camaraderie that we have begun."
Sam rubbed his temple as he seen in his mind's eye where the conversation was leading. "I suppose you would like to come to Crossroads City with us."
Cas scuttled forward. "Very much so. I believe that is where my maker is. he could help install an emotion center in my main frame."
Sam sighed, turning back to the scarecrow and toy car. "SD, looks like we have company."