(no subject)
I don't know what's happening to me. I don't really write in this livejournal. most certainly nobody reads it. im having a really hard time dealing with whatever is going on right now, and it's not even a whole lot. y health is taking a toll i guess too.
so i got myself into college and i'm staying afloat. it's not even THAT hard. but i feel so detached from it. i feel like i took a huge step back moving home. and maybe its for the best because i really do have more time to study and save money and get myself on track. yet, college is when you're supposed to make your best friends, have amazing experiences. and i have so far but i really havent met anybody i can see myself being friends with well into the future. maybe its ucla, maybe its me, but why do i still hang out with all my best friends from pedro?
and as much as i love this little town, I cant help but resent my parents for convincing me to stay.
i cant help but be unsatisfied with myself. i work two jobs, i go to school, i have a volunteer commitment, i still have time for my family and friends, i have a great boyfriend that i love.
but i feel like it's never enough, and everything i do is never good enough. i'm still too fat, my hair is too flat, my car is too dirty... there's always something. and why can't i ust relax and get past it and focus on all the great things i have going....
i just don't know.
so i got myself into college and i'm staying afloat. it's not even THAT hard. but i feel so detached from it. i feel like i took a huge step back moving home. and maybe its for the best because i really do have more time to study and save money and get myself on track. yet, college is when you're supposed to make your best friends, have amazing experiences. and i have so far but i really havent met anybody i can see myself being friends with well into the future. maybe its ucla, maybe its me, but why do i still hang out with all my best friends from pedro?
and as much as i love this little town, I cant help but resent my parents for convincing me to stay.
i cant help but be unsatisfied with myself. i work two jobs, i go to school, i have a volunteer commitment, i still have time for my family and friends, i have a great boyfriend that i love.
but i feel like it's never enough, and everything i do is never good enough. i'm still too fat, my hair is too flat, my car is too dirty... there's always something. and why can't i ust relax and get past it and focus on all the great things i have going....
i just don't know.