(no subject)
And so it goes...
You know, for a while I thought I was in a rut. Thought I wasn't going much of anywhere. Not just with schooling or job (or lack thereof), but in what I like. In what I *thought* I liked. Everything seemed so bland. So less colorful than when I was in highschool. Video games seemed routine, anime seemed dull and immature, music seemed to make my head hurt the more I listened to it, my friends seemed to get further away from me. Everything jumped on the shit train, and I didn't know if I could catch up to the ride.
Steve and Greta have been my world for a while now. Ever since I was 18 they have been the staple to my paper, keeping everything together and organized. But then I felt the paper started getting holes in it, started tearing at the ends, becomming wet and soggy with who knows what. I felt like the staple was rusting off and losing the papers. I am not saying this is because Steve and Greta suck as friends, oh no. Far from it. But more...there was some unknown, pissy god deciding to urinate on all my hopes and dreams. Yeah, more like that.
That was until a couple weekends ago I re-found some old friends that I thought I was "too good for" or miles away from. I have never been one to say I am *better* than anyone. We all have our good points and our bad points. Sometimes, at a certain point in our life, we see things one way, but as we grow, so does our mind and our perception on things.
I admit that for a while, I thought I was just too different from them. That all they cared about was certain things that I just couldn't come to recognize as things that I cared for just as deeply. So I strayed away from them. I got myself far away and didn't even know if I wanted to ever go back. I didn't care. If it happened, then it did. I wasn't going to push myself to try to even salvage anything.
But then I saw her at Publix, and it's like a wave of old hit me in the face. Everything clicked. Like, back to before I even left. Except this time, my mind is in a different place than what it once was. It has grown, and it has changed. In a good way, I'd like to think. So she invited me over to hang out. At first, I wasn't going to go. Like so many other times I was offered. I was just going to smile and nod and say I might. But something in me was off. I went to Steves and asked him if he wanted to go. Usually, I wouldn't even tell him. But this time I did. I thought that if he said no, I wouldn't go and that would be the end of it. But he said yes, so we went.
And I thank the gods that I did.
Heather and Emily were my everything in highschool. Heather was my very first friend when I moved down to Georgia. She helped me more or less into the person everyone loves today. Sure, her and I don't see eye to eye, but that's ok. She was there through all my boyfriends, after some fights, when I first got so drunk, I took a shower with my clothes on. Things I had forgotten through growing up. We have had times of uncontrollable laughter, and grandiose ideas of fame. Anything you can imagine, we have probably been through. If I hadn't met her, I would be an asshole. Straight up.
That weekend Steve and I went to visit them reopened the Lisa in me. Everything seems much more entertaining. Thoughts are flowing through my head again. Ideas, plans, and so forth.
Fangirling has been opened back up. Now, fangirling can be creepy, and gods know I was the creepiest in highschool for it. Carrying around a notebook full of pictures and informations on all my subjects of Glory...and constant babble on them. But you know? That was fun. It gave me something to think about. Something to daydream of. Something to focus all my raw retard into. It felt great. And now I am doing it again. Well, I never stopped, but it was different. I felt, bad...for doing it. I don't now.
I'm forming cosplay ideas again. Something I had lost a passion for. And because of it, I actually WANT to work now. I WANT to get money. I WANT to. I'm making plans for conventions in advanced instead of just, showing up and whatever. I'm planning money for these things. Budgeting. I'm meeting new people because of it. I'm going out to parties, and places, and networking. I'm not scooped up at home or at Steves sleeping the day away, wishing I was doing something more social. I am now. I'm living. I'm doing things I enjoy because I can.
So far, I have 2 conventions planned. Momo-con and AWA. Both of them I have cosplay plans already working. All I need is the money.
And I HAVE A JOB NOW. Crazy, right? Been about a year now since my last real job. Funny, I am taking Greta's old one because she just got a lot of Awesome dumped on her which forces her to quit Papa Johns. So everything just seems to fall in place. Where my money is going to go, what I will be doing with myself. Opprotunities are just comming out of the woodwork now.
I can't wait. This costume will be so fun~ I'll be in a group filled with people with the same passion of Bleach as I do. (The Anime, tards). Not to mention I have always loved Kisuke Urahara.
Well, I don't know where I am going with this anymore. Here I am, at the library in school wasting time. Just thought I would share this tidbit with you. Or maybe just for me. To see in writing. Who knows? I just did.
Peace out, Livejournal.
Oh yeah...and a new journal is comming. A new one for me. I have had this one since High School, I do believe. Or somewhere back then. Be expecting a link sometime soon on it when I get it set up.
Oh yeah oh yeah...Greta: ILY. D: Don't think that I hate you because "you're not a good friend". You are, so shut up. I'll kick you. In the face. Kay? Just a warning. No more of that. You're my heterosexual lifepartner for a reason. That's because you don't suck. I don't have suck H.S.L.Ps. Ever. 8D
You know, for a while I thought I was in a rut. Thought I wasn't going much of anywhere. Not just with schooling or job (or lack thereof), but in what I like. In what I *thought* I liked. Everything seemed so bland. So less colorful than when I was in highschool. Video games seemed routine, anime seemed dull and immature, music seemed to make my head hurt the more I listened to it, my friends seemed to get further away from me. Everything jumped on the shit train, and I didn't know if I could catch up to the ride.
Steve and Greta have been my world for a while now. Ever since I was 18 they have been the staple to my paper, keeping everything together and organized. But then I felt the paper started getting holes in it, started tearing at the ends, becomming wet and soggy with who knows what. I felt like the staple was rusting off and losing the papers. I am not saying this is because Steve and Greta suck as friends, oh no. Far from it. But more...there was some unknown, pissy god deciding to urinate on all my hopes and dreams. Yeah, more like that.
That was until a couple weekends ago I re-found some old friends that I thought I was "too good for" or miles away from. I have never been one to say I am *better* than anyone. We all have our good points and our bad points. Sometimes, at a certain point in our life, we see things one way, but as we grow, so does our mind and our perception on things.
I admit that for a while, I thought I was just too different from them. That all they cared about was certain things that I just couldn't come to recognize as things that I cared for just as deeply. So I strayed away from them. I got myself far away and didn't even know if I wanted to ever go back. I didn't care. If it happened, then it did. I wasn't going to push myself to try to even salvage anything.
But then I saw her at Publix, and it's like a wave of old hit me in the face. Everything clicked. Like, back to before I even left. Except this time, my mind is in a different place than what it once was. It has grown, and it has changed. In a good way, I'd like to think. So she invited me over to hang out. At first, I wasn't going to go. Like so many other times I was offered. I was just going to smile and nod and say I might. But something in me was off. I went to Steves and asked him if he wanted to go. Usually, I wouldn't even tell him. But this time I did. I thought that if he said no, I wouldn't go and that would be the end of it. But he said yes, so we went.
And I thank the gods that I did.
Heather and Emily were my everything in highschool. Heather was my very first friend when I moved down to Georgia. She helped me more or less into the person everyone loves today. Sure, her and I don't see eye to eye, but that's ok. She was there through all my boyfriends, after some fights, when I first got so drunk, I took a shower with my clothes on. Things I had forgotten through growing up. We have had times of uncontrollable laughter, and grandiose ideas of fame. Anything you can imagine, we have probably been through. If I hadn't met her, I would be an asshole. Straight up.
That weekend Steve and I went to visit them reopened the Lisa in me. Everything seems much more entertaining. Thoughts are flowing through my head again. Ideas, plans, and so forth.
Fangirling has been opened back up. Now, fangirling can be creepy, and gods know I was the creepiest in highschool for it. Carrying around a notebook full of pictures and informations on all my subjects of Glory...and constant babble on them. But you know? That was fun. It gave me something to think about. Something to daydream of. Something to focus all my raw retard into. It felt great. And now I am doing it again. Well, I never stopped, but it was different. I felt, bad...for doing it. I don't now.
I'm forming cosplay ideas again. Something I had lost a passion for. And because of it, I actually WANT to work now. I WANT to get money. I WANT to. I'm making plans for conventions in advanced instead of just, showing up and whatever. I'm planning money for these things. Budgeting. I'm meeting new people because of it. I'm going out to parties, and places, and networking. I'm not scooped up at home or at Steves sleeping the day away, wishing I was doing something more social. I am now. I'm living. I'm doing things I enjoy because I can.
So far, I have 2 conventions planned. Momo-con and AWA. Both of them I have cosplay plans already working. All I need is the money.
And I HAVE A JOB NOW. Crazy, right? Been about a year now since my last real job. Funny, I am taking Greta's old one because she just got a lot of Awesome dumped on her which forces her to quit Papa Johns. So everything just seems to fall in place. Where my money is going to go, what I will be doing with myself. Opprotunities are just comming out of the woodwork now.
I can't wait. This costume will be so fun~ I'll be in a group filled with people with the same passion of Bleach as I do. (The Anime, tards). Not to mention I have always loved Kisuke Urahara.
Well, I don't know where I am going with this anymore. Here I am, at the library in school wasting time. Just thought I would share this tidbit with you. Or maybe just for me. To see in writing. Who knows? I just did.
Peace out, Livejournal.
Oh yeah...and a new journal is comming. A new one for me. I have had this one since High School, I do believe. Or somewhere back then. Be expecting a link sometime soon on it when I get it set up.
Oh yeah oh yeah...Greta: ILY. D: Don't think that I hate you because "you're not a good friend". You are, so shut up. I'll kick you. In the face. Kay? Just a warning. No more of that. You're my heterosexual lifepartner for a reason. That's because you don't suck. I don't have suck H.S.L.Ps. Ever. 8D