I noticed a pattern
When I feel too stressed, I tend to engage in a lot of negative self-talk (eg. "I suck", "I'm the most horrible person ever and does not deserve ice-cream" etc.) and then feel bad about it later (eg. "OMG, I EMO SO MUCH I MUST HAVE BEEN SUCH AN IRRITATING PERSON FOR ALL THE EMO!" *emos over emoing*)
I will then get more stressed because I am still human and want my friends to like me but in my emoing, I WILL START THINKING THEY HATE ME. SECRETLY. DEEP DOWN INSIDE. Because I am such an irritating person who keeps complaining about her stress and putting herself down. D= I KNOW I WILL GET ANNOYED AT MYSELF!
But I know this is ridiculous. I am probably not as incompetent as I think I am and I am probably more capable than I am actually aware of. I am important and special and there are people who love me, I think! It's just, when I am too stressed, all these things seem a little hard to remember, or at least convince myself of.
My solution back in my high school days to reassure myself that my friends don't actually harbour a deep hatred towards me, I would send them text messages such as, "Do you like me?" or "Am I very annoying?"
... which, I realize now, sounds a little suspicious and rather alarming. I grew out of it, mostly.
What's the whole point of this post? Well, I am going to be even more stressed for the coming two days. This means, you might be getting the brunt of my BAWWWWW I SUCK IN LIFE AND EVERYTHING EVER AND PROBABLY DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE, and then emoing over the emo, so here's a nice squeaky hammer and express permission to bop me on the head with it.
I feel like dying. orz. Really, really. And because the assignment is stressing me out, see me not doing it but posting to LJ instead.
Do you liek me? Y/N
._.
I will then get more stressed because I am still human and want my friends to like me but in my emoing, I WILL START THINKING THEY HATE ME. SECRETLY. DEEP DOWN INSIDE. Because I am such an irritating person who keeps complaining about her stress and putting herself down. D= I KNOW I WILL GET ANNOYED AT MYSELF!
But I know this is ridiculous. I am probably not as incompetent as I think I am and I am probably more capable than I am actually aware of. I am important and special and there are people who love me, I think! It's just, when I am too stressed, all these things seem a little hard to remember, or at least convince myself of.
My solution back in my high school days to reassure myself that my friends don't actually harbour a deep hatred towards me, I would send them text messages such as, "Do you like me?" or "Am I very annoying?"
... which, I realize now, sounds a little suspicious and rather alarming. I grew out of it, mostly.
What's the whole point of this post? Well, I am going to be even more stressed for the coming two days. This means, you might be getting the brunt of my BAWWWWW I SUCK IN LIFE AND EVERYTHING EVER AND PROBABLY DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE, and then emoing over the emo, so here's a nice squeaky hammer and express permission to bop me on the head with it.
I feel like dying. orz. Really, really. And because the assignment is stressing me out, see me not doing it but posting to LJ instead.
Do you liek me? Y/N
._.