Future? What future?
Before I start spouting random nonsense about what I think about life I have some general, relatively important announcements to get out of the way which for some reason I keep forgetting to mention despite the fact that I post almost every fuckin day.
So first I would like to mention The Music Project belonging to G (because this is the internet and we try to use pseudonyms here). His project is on classical orchestras in pop music. He's recruited a bunch of us orchestra geeks (including Kitta and myself) to perform in a concert consisting of...well...pop music with orchestra in the background. As far as I know he's most excited about performing Explosive by Bond. As am I. Because it's bloody fantastic. [Just disregard the trippiness of the music video. But that my friends is what artistry should be.] I think other songs on the program may include: Die Another Day (Madonna), Thanks for the Memories (Fall Out Boy), White Flag (Dido), and Eleanor Rigby (The Beatles). The only one I'm relatively certain about though is Explosive. And Kitta has informed me that the rehearsal will probably be during lunches. I'm completely psyched for this. I think I've been waiting for something like it for my whole life. I hope it'll be as awesome as I think it'll be.
Secondly, the pool not only has concrete in it now but the stone wall at the far edge has been finished and the bricks have been laid around the edges. So it's very pretty. It'll look even prettier with water in it.
I like the Wesker's voice actor in this video even better than I like the real one. He's perfect. Muhahahahaha.
I can't seem to draw lately. Not even a decently shaped head. I may be out of practice but it depresses me anyway to see that I've taken steps backward during the time I've spent doing stupid things like schoolwork (sarcasm). I also don't have time to write anymore other than in this journal. Because this journal doesn't require thinking time. Just talking time. I was going back through some of my creative writing files when I should've been working on my APL essay and found some things that I would really like to expand on. But they've all run to dead ends or I simply haven't had the time or patience to work them out...One of them is this:
"I’ve spent the past twelve years denying everything that made me like him. I didn’t want a drop of his blood running in my veins, I didn’t want the guilt of a single thought that had ever crossed his mind crossing my own. I thought it made me like him. And I thought that if I was like him, people would fear me. Even so, people judge me because of him, no matter how different I try to be.
A man on the subway strikes up a conversation with me. I am shy but I respond to his questions, tenderly tossing the ball of conversation back and forth, it’s light and friendly, like two children playing catch with a beach ball. He asks me my name. I respond as any person would, before thinking. I already know what will happen to our ball. My name is a needle. He recognizes it from the newspapers years ago. As soon as it falls from my lips, our talk collapses with the hiss of his unspoken apologies. Apologizing for me. For who I am. He no longer wishes to speak because he would have to stand under my brother’s cold shadow with me. He tries a weak smile and perhaps an insincere attempt to formally close the conversation, to re-inflate it before he leaves. It makes no difference. In the end I’m left alone and feeling awkward. And at the same time I felt like a traitor and a failure. I should have known. I am his sister. "
I want to finish. But...*sigh* I have to work. It really isn't right that I'm spending my life at things which I never expect to enjoy. I just keep doing them because they're the "good" things to do. Science and math make the world turn but without art you'd never really know its beauty. I may favour logic over creativity for the rest of my life just because logic is what "matters". Maybe it's just a recently acquired bad habit...
Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries. And I'm working on college apps this weekend. I hope.
[edit]
Found clip of UC Ada gameplay. Words cannot express how much I want this game. ADA FTW!
So first I would like to mention The Music Project belonging to G (because this is the internet and we try to use pseudonyms here). His project is on classical orchestras in pop music. He's recruited a bunch of us orchestra geeks (including Kitta and myself) to perform in a concert consisting of...well...pop music with orchestra in the background. As far as I know he's most excited about performing Explosive by Bond. As am I. Because it's bloody fantastic. [Just disregard the trippiness of the music video. But that my friends is what artistry should be.] I think other songs on the program may include: Die Another Day (Madonna), Thanks for the Memories (Fall Out Boy), White Flag (Dido), and Eleanor Rigby (The Beatles). The only one I'm relatively certain about though is Explosive. And Kitta has informed me that the rehearsal will probably be during lunches. I'm completely psyched for this. I think I've been waiting for something like it for my whole life. I hope it'll be as awesome as I think it'll be.
Secondly, the pool not only has concrete in it now but the stone wall at the far edge has been finished and the bricks have been laid around the edges. So it's very pretty. It'll look even prettier with water in it.
I like the Wesker's voice actor in this video even better than I like the real one. He's perfect. Muhahahahaha.
I can't seem to draw lately. Not even a decently shaped head. I may be out of practice but it depresses me anyway to see that I've taken steps backward during the time I've spent doing stupid things like schoolwork (sarcasm). I also don't have time to write anymore other than in this journal. Because this journal doesn't require thinking time. Just talking time. I was going back through some of my creative writing files when I should've been working on my APL essay and found some things that I would really like to expand on. But they've all run to dead ends or I simply haven't had the time or patience to work them out...One of them is this:
"I’ve spent the past twelve years denying everything that made me like him. I didn’t want a drop of his blood running in my veins, I didn’t want the guilt of a single thought that had ever crossed his mind crossing my own. I thought it made me like him. And I thought that if I was like him, people would fear me. Even so, people judge me because of him, no matter how different I try to be.
A man on the subway strikes up a conversation with me. I am shy but I respond to his questions, tenderly tossing the ball of conversation back and forth, it’s light and friendly, like two children playing catch with a beach ball. He asks me my name. I respond as any person would, before thinking. I already know what will happen to our ball. My name is a needle. He recognizes it from the newspapers years ago. As soon as it falls from my lips, our talk collapses with the hiss of his unspoken apologies. Apologizing for me. For who I am. He no longer wishes to speak because he would have to stand under my brother’s cold shadow with me. He tries a weak smile and perhaps an insincere attempt to formally close the conversation, to re-inflate it before he leaves. It makes no difference. In the end I’m left alone and feeling awkward. And at the same time I felt like a traitor and a failure. I should have known. I am his sister. "
I want to finish. But...*sigh* I have to work. It really isn't right that I'm spending my life at things which I never expect to enjoy. I just keep doing them because they're the "good" things to do. Science and math make the world turn but without art you'd never really know its beauty. I may favour logic over creativity for the rest of my life just because logic is what "matters". Maybe it's just a recently acquired bad habit...
Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries. And I'm working on college apps this weekend. I hope.
[edit]
Found clip of UC Ada gameplay. Words cannot express how much I want this game. ADA FTW!