My Fannish Heart
How did 11 months go by without me posting? Like this: whooooosh!
So hi, everyone who still might be here. I never imagined myself turning into an LJ lurker, but apparently I have. I still click on my flist all the time, but I've just felt, I dunno, thinking that my fannish interests and little life stories would just be dull reading. But so many of you have popped up on LJ recently that I feel inspired! However, I'll break it down into separate posts so you're not overwhelmed by TMI.
This is Big Reason #1 why I haven't posted. I seem to be involved in fannish material with no active fandoms. Or else I haven't found the bulk of the activity. And none of my current interests seem to be what I see the rest of you into, sadly. Most of you are big into Sherlock, and of course I've watched the BBC episodes and enjoyed them. And I started to read some of the fanfic, and being the great writers that you are, they were great. But. You know how you discover sometimes that you just aren't falling for a fandom? You know your friends love it, their recommendations are heart-felt and moving, but it's just not working that way for you. Well, it seems like I just can't help but friend-zone Sherlock. And the same goes for the other big fandom, Avengers/Marvel. And how sorry I am that I can't feel that love in the same way you do.
Instead, I always seem to fall for the class geek these days.
Last year I waxed poetic about my newfound love for the manga series Loveless. I know there are 2 or 3 of you who also got into it at one point. A year later, I'm still interested in it. The big problem, though, is that there is no longer an active fandom for it, as far as I can tell. And the major reason for that (er, I mean apart from the fact that it doesn't have much source material, and it's a Japanese-based manga) is that the writer herself is blatantly bored with continuing it and hasn't written any new plot (only filler) for over a year, leaving everyone hanging. This is a series that began in 2002. Those 28 important plot questions that I listed last year? Are still hanging without resolution, and a few more have been added to the list. So its once-active fandom basically has moved on to other things. I feel like I showed up to a party about an hour after everyone has gone home, and I'm poking around the potato chip crumbs and melted ice in the punch bowl, thinking that it looks like it was fun.
My new, new fandom is yet another manga, Saiyuki. This one is a little more active as far as I can tell, but I'm too new to be connected yet. I'm in the read-every-bit-of-original-material and inhale-all-of-the-fic stage. And a surprising amount of the fic is very, very good. So it's making me happy, but still isolated.
In between, I read lots of yaoi (gay) manga. I worked with a couple of groups that translated and reworked some of my favorite writers, but that's done for now. I'm still LJ-centric, and don't even have a Tumblr account.
I worry that me talking too much about these fandoms is guaranteed to bore the rest of you. I remember how it was back in the day for me, when a lot of HP fans first started getting into Prince of Tennis, and I was all, "What is this all about, you guys, get a grip and just focus on what I'm interested in, okay?" Even though I knew I was being unfair. I have zero hope of swaying anyone to join me in my new fandoms, either. In the past, I tried and tried to spread my love for Japanese rock and managed, after endlessly blogging and cajoling my friends and my LJ readers, to convince exactly no one to succumb.
Which leads to the elephant in the room, I suppose - I am no longer writing for Harry Potter fandom. I'm pretty sure it was obvious, of course, but now it's in writing. I just don't have anything new to say, and the characters don't speak to me the way they once did. I still read HP fics now and then, but nowhere near the volume I used to. I see that some of you are taking down your old stories. I don't think that's wrong, necessarily, and there's room for everyone to do what they think is best, but I won't ever do it myself. But then, I have no risk involved: no job to worry about losing, no family who would disown me or anything. I think that these stories form part of a shared fandom history. I know I benefit a great deal now by finding old stories from Loveless and Saiyuki. And yes, I still am grateful and pleased when I get comments on my old stuff.
I do miss fandom, a lot. It was a huge part of my life for a decade. I never thought I would meet so many wonderful people who were far more like me than I could ever expect. Meeting so many of you in person changed me forever, and I'm not just saying that as trite bs. Even now, I meet yearly for a long weekend with a beloved group of fannish women whom I met first on LJ. And I think we'll keep it up until we're together in the nursing home, writing hot porn for the other old ladies. Except they'll be writing Sherlock and I'll be writing Saiyuki.
So hi, everyone who still might be here. I never imagined myself turning into an LJ lurker, but apparently I have. I still click on my flist all the time, but I've just felt, I dunno, thinking that my fannish interests and little life stories would just be dull reading. But so many of you have popped up on LJ recently that I feel inspired! However, I'll break it down into separate posts so you're not overwhelmed by TMI.
This is Big Reason #1 why I haven't posted. I seem to be involved in fannish material with no active fandoms. Or else I haven't found the bulk of the activity. And none of my current interests seem to be what I see the rest of you into, sadly. Most of you are big into Sherlock, and of course I've watched the BBC episodes and enjoyed them. And I started to read some of the fanfic, and being the great writers that you are, they were great. But. You know how you discover sometimes that you just aren't falling for a fandom? You know your friends love it, their recommendations are heart-felt and moving, but it's just not working that way for you. Well, it seems like I just can't help but friend-zone Sherlock. And the same goes for the other big fandom, Avengers/Marvel. And how sorry I am that I can't feel that love in the same way you do.
Instead, I always seem to fall for the class geek these days.
Last year I waxed poetic about my newfound love for the manga series Loveless. I know there are 2 or 3 of you who also got into it at one point. A year later, I'm still interested in it. The big problem, though, is that there is no longer an active fandom for it, as far as I can tell. And the major reason for that (er, I mean apart from the fact that it doesn't have much source material, and it's a Japanese-based manga) is that the writer herself is blatantly bored with continuing it and hasn't written any new plot (only filler) for over a year, leaving everyone hanging. This is a series that began in 2002. Those 28 important plot questions that I listed last year? Are still hanging without resolution, and a few more have been added to the list. So its once-active fandom basically has moved on to other things. I feel like I showed up to a party about an hour after everyone has gone home, and I'm poking around the potato chip crumbs and melted ice in the punch bowl, thinking that it looks like it was fun.
My new, new fandom is yet another manga, Saiyuki. This one is a little more active as far as I can tell, but I'm too new to be connected yet. I'm in the read-every-bit-of-original-material and inhale-all-of-the-fic stage. And a surprising amount of the fic is very, very good. So it's making me happy, but still isolated.
In between, I read lots of yaoi (gay) manga. I worked with a couple of groups that translated and reworked some of my favorite writers, but that's done for now. I'm still LJ-centric, and don't even have a Tumblr account.
I worry that me talking too much about these fandoms is guaranteed to bore the rest of you. I remember how it was back in the day for me, when a lot of HP fans first started getting into Prince of Tennis, and I was all, "What is this all about, you guys, get a grip and just focus on what I'm interested in, okay?" Even though I knew I was being unfair. I have zero hope of swaying anyone to join me in my new fandoms, either. In the past, I tried and tried to spread my love for Japanese rock and managed, after endlessly blogging and cajoling my friends and my LJ readers, to convince exactly no one to succumb.
Which leads to the elephant in the room, I suppose - I am no longer writing for Harry Potter fandom. I'm pretty sure it was obvious, of course, but now it's in writing. I just don't have anything new to say, and the characters don't speak to me the way they once did. I still read HP fics now and then, but nowhere near the volume I used to. I see that some of you are taking down your old stories. I don't think that's wrong, necessarily, and there's room for everyone to do what they think is best, but I won't ever do it myself. But then, I have no risk involved: no job to worry about losing, no family who would disown me or anything. I think that these stories form part of a shared fandom history. I know I benefit a great deal now by finding old stories from Loveless and Saiyuki. And yes, I still am grateful and pleased when I get comments on my old stuff.
I do miss fandom, a lot. It was a huge part of my life for a decade. I never thought I would meet so many wonderful people who were far more like me than I could ever expect. Meeting so many of you in person changed me forever, and I'm not just saying that as trite bs. Even now, I meet yearly for a long weekend with a beloved group of fannish women whom I met first on LJ. And I think we'll keep it up until we're together in the nursing home, writing hot porn for the other old ladies. Except they'll be writing Sherlock and I'll be writing Saiyuki.