I took too many psych classes in school, also TMI

[georgiamagnolia]

I was as an adolescent and teenager the kind of girl, as Jim once said, that boys don't date but the kind of girl that boys marry. I thought that was damn stupid because how do you marry if you don't date? When I grew a little older I was the girl that listened and understood and reassured, I was the perfect transition relationship, when I wasn't

Comments

[shadowpryde]

I think I speak for many when I say that I think many of us out here feel you deserve better.

I know that the odds of you ever feeling that way, too, are low ... but I still feel that way. And as a stubborn, if somewhat distant, friend ... I'm not afraid to tell you.

I will say this, though. Sometimes I wonder if you don't have the right of it, to instead be afraid of being with someone rather than to be alone. So many of us lose parts of ourselves (in some cases precious parts that we don't realize the value of until they're gone) to people because of a fear of being alone leading us to spend time with the wrong choices. When, instead, a healthy fear of being with someone to eventually be overcome by the right person(s) could go a long way towards keeping ourselves intact and happier when we finally find the right person to share our lives with. On the other hand, maybe the happiness only comes when you've been broken so much.

Ack. There I go, thinking too much again on someone else's journal.

Shutting up now. I give you Jack to stare at for a bit.

-DL-

[georgiamagnolia]

There are so many good Jacks out there to enjoy. Jack Harkness is another good one, as is Jack Daniels. *grin*

((How retentive am I that I have to edit typos months later? never type while suffering sleep dep, yeah?))

You are right and intellectually I know that I am worth more than being ignored for months at a time. Emotionally, it works for me on two levels: first I don't have to deal with daily maintenance of a real relationship and second I don't have to actually deal with creating a local and viable relationship. I never have to explain to someone that I don't feel like going out or that the hideyunderthebeditis is bad and I just don't want to deal with another person because I don't have the energy or whatever to cope with more than a copshow rerun.

And yes, I never have to lose anything to another, the downside is that I also do not share anything with another. I am lucky that I have friends, some of them closer than others, that I can share the important stuff with and so I'm not as isolated as it sounds like. The truth is that I am content, maybe not blissful but at least not 'cidal. It'll do for now. Tomorrow may find me frustrated by it all again, but just as likely not.