So... update and shit
Today was FCAT... that was special wasn't it. Fucking bells and ice bergs... when the hell will I EVER need knowledge about that stuff. Notice I didn't use a question mark; that is because there is no anwser. At least I got sleep though. What pissed me off is I take a while to go to sleep... so I only got like... 10-20 minutes per portion. If I could have just done it all in one go I could have slept for like... 75 minutes straight. Its a real shame cause I so could have used that.
Dunno how the Math portion is gonna be tommorrow... but FCAT has never been hard really so I expect it will be just as stupid as anything else we have done so far.
This past weekend was good all in all. I fucked up a few times... got stressed... sad... and annoyed. But in the end with a lot of help from Josh's optimism I cheered up greatly. I messed up and hugged him in public after he even pointed out someone he knew that worked were we were; he snapped at me. But he got so upset at snapping I could see it in his face and actions... he appologized several times. Its things like that , that I hold onto and make me believe that he really does care about me.
Even I am down it is the little things he does that bring me up. Kissing me at the con, even for just a second... letting me hold him during the concert. Sitting with me when I was freaked out at my house. Comforting me and telling me things would be better Sunday... and they were. He puts up with a lot from me... Im still not sure if I deserve him... but I know I have to work my hardest to show how thankfull I am and try to be deserving of it.
Josh isn't the type that says, "I love you," and I am. Him not saying it gets me uncomfortable at times... but actions speak louder than words. And even if he does love me... I have to believe he cares. He puts up with a lot from me; and although breaking up so many times isn't a good thing... the fact that he keeps coming back means he sees something in me. I want to make him happy and I think I do in some ways. So im getting better, dealing with things, and cheering up in general.
Josh is gonna be spending this weekend hanging with Jorge I think; thats cool he has to stay in touch with friends. Im trying to get Ashley to come over anyways so we can do stuff to my hair and take pictures. It will be nice seeing Ashley, it always is; lets just hope I get to see her before 6 like last time. ^^
I have a SHIT load of work to do this week and weekend. I have 100 pages to read of The Once and Future King by wednessday this week. Then this weekend I have at least 100 questions to anwser and another 100 pages to read by next Wednessday. Yeah im almost at my wits end about this. But it doesn't matter so much things will be okay.
I talked to Marcus... Zach is back in the hospital and they dont know what it is. Zach isn't in as much pain though, that is good. Marcus and I talked for like 3 hours on the phone. He sounded stressed but I got him to laugh some and it sounded like he enjoyed the conversation. I missed being able to talk to him. Matt you may not know him that well but I hope you'll pray for Zach and any other of my friends that are religious at all... I dont know which of you have given up and which havent.
Um about Megacon not a lot to say... only went for a while Sunday. Saw the concert, it rocked, I really enjoyed it. I got to dance up against Josh some which was really awesome, and when we were sitting cause he was tired he leaned over and kissed me. We went out cause Josh was like... hyperventalating(sp) and was dehydrated; apparently we missed a really cool part with Tsukasa(Drummer), as well as Hizumi(Vocalist) taking his shirt off. lol I think the band performed well and the croud seems to love every second of it. Not having been into them long I can definatly say after seeing the live I want to look into more of their stuff. I fell in love with Tsukasa... he was skilled, his hair was amazing and I dunno I just really enjoyed him in the concert. ^^
Dunno how the Math portion is gonna be tommorrow... but FCAT has never been hard really so I expect it will be just as stupid as anything else we have done so far.
This past weekend was good all in all. I fucked up a few times... got stressed... sad... and annoyed. But in the end with a lot of help from Josh's optimism I cheered up greatly. I messed up and hugged him in public after he even pointed out someone he knew that worked were we were; he snapped at me. But he got so upset at snapping I could see it in his face and actions... he appologized several times. Its things like that , that I hold onto and make me believe that he really does care about me.
Even I am down it is the little things he does that bring me up. Kissing me at the con, even for just a second... letting me hold him during the concert. Sitting with me when I was freaked out at my house. Comforting me and telling me things would be better Sunday... and they were. He puts up with a lot from me... Im still not sure if I deserve him... but I know I have to work my hardest to show how thankfull I am and try to be deserving of it.
Josh isn't the type that says, "I love you," and I am. Him not saying it gets me uncomfortable at times... but actions speak louder than words. And even if he does love me... I have to believe he cares. He puts up with a lot from me; and although breaking up so many times isn't a good thing... the fact that he keeps coming back means he sees something in me. I want to make him happy and I think I do in some ways. So im getting better, dealing with things, and cheering up in general.
Josh is gonna be spending this weekend hanging with Jorge I think; thats cool he has to stay in touch with friends. Im trying to get Ashley to come over anyways so we can do stuff to my hair and take pictures. It will be nice seeing Ashley, it always is; lets just hope I get to see her before 6 like last time. ^^
I have a SHIT load of work to do this week and weekend. I have 100 pages to read of The Once and Future King by wednessday this week. Then this weekend I have at least 100 questions to anwser and another 100 pages to read by next Wednessday. Yeah im almost at my wits end about this. But it doesn't matter so much things will be okay.
I talked to Marcus... Zach is back in the hospital and they dont know what it is. Zach isn't in as much pain though, that is good. Marcus and I talked for like 3 hours on the phone. He sounded stressed but I got him to laugh some and it sounded like he enjoyed the conversation. I missed being able to talk to him. Matt you may not know him that well but I hope you'll pray for Zach and any other of my friends that are religious at all... I dont know which of you have given up and which havent.
Um about Megacon not a lot to say... only went for a while Sunday. Saw the concert, it rocked, I really enjoyed it. I got to dance up against Josh some which was really awesome, and when we were sitting cause he was tired he leaned over and kissed me. We went out cause Josh was like... hyperventalating(sp) and was dehydrated; apparently we missed a really cool part with Tsukasa(Drummer), as well as Hizumi(Vocalist) taking his shirt off. lol I think the band performed well and the croud seems to love every second of it. Not having been into them long I can definatly say after seeing the live I want to look into more of their stuff. I fell in love with Tsukasa... he was skilled, his hair was amazing and I dunno I just really enjoyed him in the concert. ^^