(no subject)
sometimes i feel as thought i expect too much out of people. like i want things a certian way or i just expect them to do certian things to fit what i want but maybe i dont take into consideration them and what they are going through. and then its like maybe i worry too much about stupid shit. and i can't ever sleep. i walk around like a fucking zombie half the time because im running off of an hour of sleep.
maybe im just scared. i am so scared of life and the fact that i am about to have to make decisions for the rest of it. and im scared that im going to lose people and maybe i hold on to them to tightly or not enough. and i dont want to be lonely i never want to be alone. and i hope i dont ever end up like my mother. oh thats what i am afraid of the most. if i were to ever turn out like that i would hope someone would save me.
theres just so much more to everything that i feel i am missing. i feel like everything is passing me by and im just standing still waiting for something to happen. like do you ever get that feeling that everyone around you is moving on and changing and you are staying the exact same place not moving at all. and im so weak. i am so affected by every little thing that ever happens. i can't ever just be the strong person. i can't handle pain it breaks me down.
oh fuck i just wish i could fall asleep.
maybe im just scared. i am so scared of life and the fact that i am about to have to make decisions for the rest of it. and im scared that im going to lose people and maybe i hold on to them to tightly or not enough. and i dont want to be lonely i never want to be alone. and i hope i dont ever end up like my mother. oh thats what i am afraid of the most. if i were to ever turn out like that i would hope someone would save me.
theres just so much more to everything that i feel i am missing. i feel like everything is passing me by and im just standing still waiting for something to happen. like do you ever get that feeling that everyone around you is moving on and changing and you are staying the exact same place not moving at all. and im so weak. i am so affected by every little thing that ever happens. i can't ever just be the strong person. i can't handle pain it breaks me down.
oh fuck i just wish i could fall asleep.