He was sitting there, waiting for Mary to come home. Sitting and sitting and sitting and wishing he had a motorcycle. That thought came out of the blue and he willed it away because Mary had slept on the couch last night. And she wasn't home tonight.
So he freaked out at her manly parts? He had been trying to give her a raspberry between her breasts when he realized she didn't have any. That could damage a man, couldn't it? Yes. It could. He also thought Mary had been bigger in the, uh, package department. That really sucked.
So there he was when
Mike called and left a message. Sighing deeply. He knew there was only one thing left to do. No. Not whore himself out. No, he was going to get drunk. He was going to get drunk before he even went to the bar to get drunker. He's been drunk once in his life. Twice would be perfect.
[Establishy only. The poor boy, er, man.]