(no subject)
The Rock band Led Zeppelin, on their second album, performed a song entitled "Ramble On." Following is an excerpt of the song...
How years ago in days of old
When magic filled the air,
T’was in the darkest depths of mordor
I met a girl so fair,
But gollum, and the evil one crept up
And slipped away with her.
What the fuck is this? There is so much wrong with this fucking lyric it's hard to know where to begin.
First of all, he "in the darkest depths of Morder, he met a girl so fair." Why in the fuck was there an attractive girl in Morder, much less the darkest depths of Mordor. Aren't the darkest depths of Morder probably the dungeon of the black tower? What in God's name would Robert fucking Plant be doing in the dungeon of the black tower of Mordor? Jimmy Page in the black tower, maybe. Not Bob. And no way would a hot broad be in there, not a chance. It's fucking Mordor, it's full of orcs and spiders and shit. The dungeon in the black tower has got to be a complete shithole. Jesus, look at the fucking broads at the goddamn goth club, and that's on 5th and national. Just imagine the type of woman that hangs out in the basement of the dark tower.
Secondly, Gollum and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her? This is where it all goes to shit. Gollum wants a girl? What the hell is Gollum going to do with a girl? And the evil one? We can only, I think, assume that this refers to Sauron. So why is Sauron hanging out with Gollum? Last I heard, Sauron's only real contact with Gollum was torturing him a little. And why would Sauron need a woman? This question begs asking even more than the same question referencing gollum. Sauron is a giant flaming eye, does he really need to get laid? And does he really need to "creep up" on people if he wants their woman? Can't he pretty much get any chick in Mordor? Who's going to say "no?" I sure fucking wouldn't.
This all leads me to the conclusion that Robert Plant never, in fact, read the Lord of the Rings. Come on, you fucking know he didn't.
"Jimmy, hey, check it out man. I wrote lyrics for that groovy tune you wrote."
"Far out, Robert."
"Jimmy, man, it's about this really groovy new book called Lord of Rings. It's about Frodo the bobbit fighting the dark lord. This girl was telling me about it. It's groovy. All the kids are reading it."
"Um, yeah, Robert, um, it's Lord of the Rings, man, I read it. You've..."
"The song is from the book, man... I'm in 'the darkest depths of Mordor' probably, like, slaying an ogre or something and..."
"Robert, no man, it's..."
"Gollum and the evil one take my woman and slip away..."
"Yeah, Robert, that's not..."
"No, man, Jimmy, listen, it'll be groovy, trust me.."
"Ok, fuck it."
How years ago in days of old
When magic filled the air,
T’was in the darkest depths of mordor
I met a girl so fair,
But gollum, and the evil one crept up
And slipped away with her.
What the fuck is this? There is so much wrong with this fucking lyric it's hard to know where to begin.
First of all, he "in the darkest depths of Morder, he met a girl so fair." Why in the fuck was there an attractive girl in Morder, much less the darkest depths of Mordor. Aren't the darkest depths of Morder probably the dungeon of the black tower? What in God's name would Robert fucking Plant be doing in the dungeon of the black tower of Mordor? Jimmy Page in the black tower, maybe. Not Bob. And no way would a hot broad be in there, not a chance. It's fucking Mordor, it's full of orcs and spiders and shit. The dungeon in the black tower has got to be a complete shithole. Jesus, look at the fucking broads at the goddamn goth club, and that's on 5th and national. Just imagine the type of woman that hangs out in the basement of the dark tower.
Secondly, Gollum and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her? This is where it all goes to shit. Gollum wants a girl? What the hell is Gollum going to do with a girl? And the evil one? We can only, I think, assume that this refers to Sauron. So why is Sauron hanging out with Gollum? Last I heard, Sauron's only real contact with Gollum was torturing him a little. And why would Sauron need a woman? This question begs asking even more than the same question referencing gollum. Sauron is a giant flaming eye, does he really need to get laid? And does he really need to "creep up" on people if he wants their woman? Can't he pretty much get any chick in Mordor? Who's going to say "no?" I sure fucking wouldn't.
This all leads me to the conclusion that Robert Plant never, in fact, read the Lord of the Rings. Come on, you fucking know he didn't.
"Jimmy, hey, check it out man. I wrote lyrics for that groovy tune you wrote."
"Far out, Robert."
"Jimmy, man, it's about this really groovy new book called Lord of Rings. It's about Frodo the bobbit fighting the dark lord. This girl was telling me about it. It's groovy. All the kids are reading it."
"Um, yeah, Robert, um, it's Lord of the Rings, man, I read it. You've..."
"The song is from the book, man... I'm in 'the darkest depths of Mordor' probably, like, slaying an ogre or something and..."
"Robert, no man, it's..."
"Gollum and the evil one take my woman and slip away..."
"Yeah, Robert, that's not..."
"No, man, Jimmy, listen, it'll be groovy, trust me.."
"Ok, fuck it."