FIC: "In Some Sacred Place," Sam/Janet, R
Title: In Some Sacred Place
Author: geonncannon
Pairing: Sam/Janet
Word Count: 3,713
Category: Drama
Spoilers: "The Light," "Heroes," "Prometheus Unbound,"
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Rating: R
Author's Notes: Title is from "Delicate" by Damien Rice, which is such a Sam/Janet song (at least the verses).
Summary: Sam finds herself apparently unhinged in time.
Hands in a sheet, a soft kiss against the curve of her jaw. Rolling onto her side and feeling a soft thigh against her--
Under fluorescent lights of a movie theater, holding a massive tub of popcorn and leaning against the wall next to the payphones. It seemed like thousands of teenagers swarming past them and a head resting on her shoulder, a pair of arms wrapped around her elbow as they waited for Cassandra to just hurry up and get out of the--
"Sam?" Janet asked, lifting her head from the pillow. Her hair was wild, smashed flat on one side and her normally bright eyes puffy from sleep. Sam pushed her fingers through the rat's nest and whispered--
"This is stupid..." Janet panted against Sam's throat. The light over the driveway shone down on them like a spotlight. Janet's back was against the wall of the garage, her right foot planted against the wall as Sam's hands roamed across her blouse. "We should stop. Go... inside..."
Sam pulled back, panting, and put her hands on Janet's shoulders. "Do you want to? Stop, I mean?"
Janet put her hands on Sam's hips and pulled her closer. "Not yet."
Sam smiled and covered Janet's body with her own as--
Sam jerked.
Across the table, Daniel looked up and raised his eyebrows. "Sam?"
She frowned at him, wondering what had just happened. She looked to her right and saw Teal'c was also staring at her. "Sorry," she said. "Must have dozed off there for a second..."
"You, Carter?" General O'Neill said as he walked into the room. Sam stood at attention and he waved her down. "Dozing off? Never." He took his seat with a groan and said, "All right. What cool things am I going to miss seeing on P44-832?"
"According to the locals," Daniel said, "there's a temple that used to be held by an unnamed god."
"Unnamed?" O'Neill said. "You mean a Goa'uld ran around without slapping his name all over everything in sight?"
Daniel hesitated. "Possibly. Or... we could be dealing with God."
"Big G?"
"Yes."
"Wow."
"I know."
"So..."
"Worth a look?" Daniel asked hopefully.
"Sounds like it to me," O'Neill said. To Sam, he said, "You move out at 0830."
"Thank you, sir." Sam stood and felt a rush of blood to her brain.
She reached out to steady herself against the briefing room table and felt a hand alight on the small of her back. "Whoa," Janet said. "You okay, baby?"
Sam closed her eyes and waited until the lightheadedness had passed before she looked over her shoulder at Janet. "Yeah. Whoa." She shook her head. "I just... it felt like I was just in a briefing with General O'Neill."
Janet blinked and then laughed. "General O'Neill, huh? Don't let him hear you say that. He may get a big head."
Sam frowned and straightened. Right. Colonel O'Neill... Why had she said General? She pushed away from the table and smiled at Janet. "I'll be fine. Just a bit of a head rush."
"I'll say," Janet said. She gestured at the table and Sam picked up the dirty dinner plate and carried it into the kitchen. Janet followed her and dumped her handful in the sink, running the faucet as she rolled up her sleeves. "Cassandra wanted you to look over her chemistry assignment before tomorrow morning."
"Okay," Sam said. She pulled a towel from the drawer and wound it between her hands. She eyed the denim of Janet's backside, bit her bottom lip and let the towel fly. It connected with a loud "SNAP!" and Janet's body arched from the assault.
She spun around, eyes wide and wild, and said, "You're going to pay for that."
Sam laughed and--
--pulled Janet closer against her, spooned against her lover from behind. Their bodies were slick with sweat, Sam's right hand captured between Janet's thighs and the fingers of her left splayed over Janet's throat. Janet was whimpering, her lower lip trembling as she thrust against Sam's hand. She could feel Janet's pulse against her palm, could taste the salty sweetness of her throat as her fingers pushed inside and--
--"Don't."
"Well, what should I call you?"
"Not that," Janet said.
Sam sighed and brushed Janet's hair away from her forehead. "How about a cartoon character? Eeyore."
"I'm not that depressing, am I?"
"Piglet."
"I take offense at the 'pig' part of that pet name."
Sam rolled her eyes. "Well, then you can be Pooh."
"Pooh was fat."
Sam slid her hand over Janet's stomach and watched her squirm. They both laughed and Sam said, "But Pooh was my favorite. I used to have a stuffed Pooh bear toy that I slept with every night."
Janet rolled on top of Sam and kissed her chin. "Pooh, huh?"
"We could go through the annals of cartoon history and see if there's something else you like better..."
"No," Janet said. She kissed Sam's lips and said, "I think I'd like it if you called me Pooh. Your little Pooh bear."
Sam smiled. "Then what will you call me?"
Janet ruffled Sam's blonde hair and said, "Rabbit, of course!"
Sam laughed and reached up to straighten her hair as--
--the Stargate kawoosh exploded out, startling her. She backpedaled, eyes wide as she tried to comprehend the sudden change in scenery. There was a strong hand suddenly on her shoulder and she turned to see Teal'c looking at her with concern. "Carter?" General O'Neill said over the speaker. "Everything okay?"
Sam looked up at him. General O'Neill. Right. Why had Janet thought that was so strange? "Fine, sir," she assured him. She glanced at the team and then hesitated. "Wait. We can't go yet."
"What's the problem?" Daniel asked.
"Cameron and Vala aren't here yet."
Daniel blinked. "Vala... Vala, the woman who tried to steal the Prometheus? Why would she be here?"
Sam frowned at Teal'c. "What mission is this?"
"We are to investigate a temple on P44-832," Teal'c said.
"Right," Sam said. Right mission, General O'Neill... she didn't even remember why she'd thought Vala was supposed to have been there. She gestured at the ramp and said, "Right. I'm fine. Just a little out-of-sorts." She started forward and placed her boot on the ramp--
--and ran her fingers through Janet's feather-light hair. The house was silent and they were reading on the couch. Janet was barefoot in jeans and a white t-shirt and, when Sam looked down, she saw a strip of bare flesh between Janet's stomach and the waistband of her jeans. She moved her hand from Janet's hair to that spot and slipped her fingertips over Janet's belly.
"Stop," Janet whispered.
"I'm going up," Sam said. "I could be going down..." She teased the catch of Janet's jeans with her index finger.
"Don't make me spank you again," Janet warned.
Sam realized that her backside was a bit sore. She withdrew her hand and rested it on Janet's stomach, on top of the shirt this time. Janet covered Sam's hand with her own, chuckled quietly and went back to her book. Sam looked down at Janet's bare feet, crossed at the ankles on the arm of the couch. "Janet?" Sam asked.
"Mm?"
"Nothing... i-it's nothing."
Janet looked up. "What is it, baby?"
"I've felt like I'm... like I'm blacking out. But I'm jumping around."
"Jumping around how?"
"I'll be here, with you, playing in the kitchen, and then suddenly, I'll be--"
--dust blew in Sam's eyes and she ducked away from it as she groped for her goggles. When she looked again, she saw Daniel examining a stone wall a few feet away. She turned and saw Teal'c behind her. The Stargate was visible in the distance and they seemed to be surrounded by canvas-covered lean-tos. She saw curious natives standing outside their homes, faces wrapped against the sand, watching the strangers work.
Sam walked up to Daniel and said, "Have you got that thing figured out yet?"
"I haven't even begun," Daniel said. He stepped back and gestured at the carvings. "There's practically an entire planetary history here."
"Well, hurry it up. I want to get back before General Landry starts to worry."
Daniel half-turned. "Who?"
"General Landry."
"I believe you mean General Hammond, don't you, Captain?"
Sam spun around and saw Jack O'Neill walking towards them. He leaned against the wall and kicked the sand from his boots. Sam frowned. "General...?"
"General?" Daniel said.
Jack straightened slowly. "You okay, Carter?"
"Fine..."
"...sir."
Janet settled against Sam's thigh and chuckled low in her throat. "Oh, that's a little too kinky, baby," she whispered. It was night and the lights were out. Janet was naked, thrusting between Sam's legs, her hair sticking to her face. She bent down and kissed Sam's chest, sliding her tongue up Sam's throat until she was nibbling her earlobe. "You can call me 'ma'am,' though... do it, Sam..."
Sam groaned and arched her back. "Yes, ma'am..."
She felt Janet shudder against her--
--and then soft hands closed on her shoulders. "Just relax," Janet whispered. "Lean back into me."
Sam didn't know what the hell was going on, but she wasn't going to question it at times like this. When her body was suddenly sore and achy and Janet's hands were on her, it didn't matter that she didn't seem to have control of her -- Janet in the shower -- actions or her memory. It didn't matter that -- hugging a crying Janet after a fight -- her mind couldn't seem to stay focused.
Janet said, "You've been a godsend these past couple of days. I don't know what I would've done without you."
"You'd have managed," Sam said, completely clueless as to what Janet was talking about.
"No, I don't think I would have. I'm used to being in charge, giving orders in the infirmary. But this girl..."
Cassandra. Janet's first couple of days as Cassandra's guardian. Which meant this was their first shoulder rub. Which meant tonight would be their first kiss. Sam's heart skipped and she reached up to touch Janet's hand. "You're doing fine."
"Thank you for that," Janet said. She moved her free hand and brushed her knuckles across the back of Sam's neck. Sam shivered at the contact and said, "I, uh... I should go."
"Yeah," Janet whispered. She released Sam's shoulders and stepped away from the chair. Sam stood and faced Janet. They walked to the door and Janet said, "Thank you again for being here."
"It's my pleasure." She embraced Janet, her heart pounding as she remembered how this night had gone the first time.
"Your heart is pounding," Janet said against Sam's shoulder. She pulled back and said, "Are you okay?"
Sam cupped Janet's cheek and leaned in.
Their first kiss had been like magic. Sam felt her bottom lip trembling as it pressed against Janet's, her mouth open so that her upper lip brushed against the notch between Janet's mouth and nose. Janet's eyes were open and, when Sam opened her eyes, she saw that gorgeous dark brown gaze locked on her.
Sam put her arms around Janet and eased her against the wall, deepening the kiss with a sweep of her tongue. Janet kept her hands out to the side, helpless as her best friend kissed her. Kissed her well. When they finally parted, Sam released her embrace and stepped back. "I'm sorry," Sam whispered.
Janet had one hand already on her lips, her eyes wide as she tried to figure out what had just happened. "I think... y-you should go," Janet said softly.
Sam nodded and turned away so Janet wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. She opened the door and hurried down the walkway to her car, trying to hold back the tears until she was safely out of sight. She climbed behind the wheel and immediately slumped forward, her hands against the wheel and her forehead resting on her knuckles.
"Go on," she hissed. "Take me away again. Please! Take me away again."
She remembered the rest of the night clearly; getting home to find the answering machine flashing, to hear Janet's message: "I'm sorry I sent you away. I was just shocked. Thank you, Sam. It was lovely. It was more than lovely, but I... I can't deal with it right at this moment. I hope you understand that it was the timing and not you that I was rejecting. Please, come by tomorrow. I want to talk to you about... about a lot of things. And thank you, Sam. Oh, thank you so much."
The knowledge didn't help, however. The pain was too much at the moment. She wiped at her eyes and said, "Come on! Whoever is doing this, please... send me somewhere else. Please, I can't take this again..."
"Can't take what?"
Sam looked up and saw Janet pouring a glass of orange juice. Sam was leaning against the counter in the kitchen, sun shining through the kitchen window to a spot just beyond her feet. The sunlight was warming her cold toes. She pushed away from the counter, grabbed Janet by the shoulders and pulled her into a kiss. Janet moaned and playfully slapped at Sam's chest.
"Stop it," Janet laughed when Sam let her up for air.
"Say you love me," Sam said.
Janet looked at Sam's face. "Have you been crying? Sam..."
"Please, Janet."
"I love you," Janet said. She kissed the wet tracks on Sam's cheeks and said, "I love you, Sam. Are you okay?"
Sam squeezed Janet and said, "I am now."
"And...?" Janet prompted.
Sam laughed. "And I love you, too."
"Good girl," Janet said. "You're sure you're all right?"
"I'm fine."
"Good to hear," O'Neill said.
Sam blinked. She was back on the planet. P44-whatever. Daniel had the door to the temple standing open and the Gene-- the Colonel -- was standing in the dark entrance. "So, since you're fine... you care to join us?"
She looked over her shoulder at the group of natives who were still watching them. She tightened her grip on her weapon and stepped into the cool darkness.
After her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw a wide room with an altar at the far end. Daniel was walking towards it, the beam of his flashlight sliding up the far wall. "According to these carvings, this place is called the 'Abode of Bliss'," he said, his voice bouncing off the walls.
"Sounds positively sinful," O'Neill said as he entered the temple behind Sam. "Found the light switch yet?"
Sam lifted her flashlight and said, "Vala found one over there."
Daniel turned. "Who?"
"Is this one of those... Jolinar things?" O'Neill asked.
Sam frowned and said, "I don't think so..."
O'Neill walked to where she'd indicated and slapped the wall a few times. His hand slid over a small glass dome and it lit up bright red. The cavernous room lit up with a gentle glow. "Well, whoever this Valerie is," O'Neill said, "looks like she knew her lights."
Sam walked across the room to the altar. It was a low, stone tablet with a base that looked far more technologically advanced. She knelt down and examined the console. "Sir, I think we've seen something like this before..."
"Where?"
"P4X-347. The Goa'uld pleasure palace."
O'Neill thought for a moment and said, "I know I'm not the best with those P-four-whatever numbers, but I'm sure I would remember a Goa'uld pleasure palace."
Sam stood and frowned at him. "Sir, we were stranded there for almost four weeks. How could you not remember?"
O'Neill raised his eyebrow and looked past her shoulder. "Daniel?"
"Um... sorry, Sam, but... it's not ringing a bell with me, either."
Sam looked at Teal'c, who was looking at her with concern. "Loran. We met the kid who... whose parents had..."
"Get her out of that thing!"
"I'm trying!"
"Try harder, damn it!"
Sam stumbled and Daniel reached out to grab her. Janet wrapped both arms around Sam and guided her to the couch. "You just need to lie down," Janet said. She stretched Sam out on the couch and said, "Would you like a foot rub?"
Sam was on all-fours and Janet was behind her. She blushed as she felt Janet's hands slid up her spine and then they were on the floor, watching a movie with the rest of SG-1 and playing footsie unseen under the blanket. Sam cut Janet's hair. Janet washed Sam's hair in a bubble bath.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait," Sam said, managing to utter the word only once per scene. She closed her eyes, felt hands on her, in her, moving across her body and feeling clothes appear and disappear. Janet kissed her, she nuzzled Janet's neck, she and Janet held hands, she and Janet making love, she and Janet in the car, she and Janet...
Something popped and her vision swam. She felt nauseous, weak. Three pairs of hands lifted her, two on each arm and one on her legs. She was lifted and placed gently on the hard, stone ground.
"Anything?" Cameron Mitchell.
"She's not responsive," Daniel said.
"Wait," she gasped.
"She's coming around!" Vala.
"Wait..."
"Sam, can you hear me?" Daniel. "Teal'c went to get help. How long was she in that thing?"
"I don't know," Cameron said. Two fingers pressed against her throat. "Sam, can you hear me?"
"Yes," she whispered.
"It's all right. You're safe now."
~
Two days later, fully rehydrated and the wounds on her temples all but healed, Cameron came to visit her. "Hey, Sam. Feeling better?"
"A little more solid," she assured him.
"We got a little more information on that altar if you wanna know...?" She nodded and he opened the file he was carrying. "Kind of a cheat sheet," he explained. "Jackson says the altar was similar in design to the light device you-all found six years ago on P4X-347. It drew you in and, once you were hooked up, it sent you pleasing images to make sure you didn't try to escape."
"Escape? I didn't even know I was trapped," she said.
"All part of Dr. Evil's design, most likely."
"Dr. Evil?"
"Yeah, until we figure out whoever designs these freaky monster machines, it's as good a name as any, right? Anyway, it draws you in, drugs you to make sure you're docile and sends you pretty colors to make sure you don't try to leave before it does what it needs to do."
"And what is that?" Sam asked. "What does it do?"
"Drains you. Your life, everything you have. Jackson can't figure out why it does that, but he figures it was a form of execution for whatever Goa'uld ran that place."
"I thought it was... God?"
"God? As in... no." He scanned the file. "Jackson says there were signs of Kali all over the place. It was her summer place, I guess."
"Oh," Sam whispered.
Cameron nodded and patted her leg through the blanket. "Cheer up, Carter. We got you out safe and sound. You're home now."
Sam forced a smile. Home meant that Janet was dead.
"Yeah," Sam said. "Home."
Cam left with a promise to check up on her in a few hours. Sam rolled onto her side and stared at the monitor beside her bed. She closed her eyes and let her tears fall to the pillow.
~
Vala tiptoed up to the door and peered in. Sam was working on her laptop, of course, as always. She knocked on the door and Sam jumped slightly before turning to face her. "Vala. What is it?"
"Just came by to see you. You've seemed... glum... lately." She leaned against the table next to Sam and looked down at the laptop's screen. "You okay?"
"Fine," Sam assured her. "I'm actually kind of..."
"What did you see?"
Sam looked up.
"You've been down ever since we pulled you out of that bliss machine. So I figured you must have seen something really nice to be so depressed afterward."
Sam averted her gaze and played with the cap of her pen for a moment. "Someone I loved."
"You don't love them anymore?"
"No, I do," Sam whispered. "I love her more than ever. But she's... gone. She died."
Vala sobered. "Oh. I am sorry."
"I've been trying to force myself not to think of her," Sam said. She looked at her hands and pictured them lying on Janet's stomach while they read. A tear formed in her eye and she wiped it angrily away. "It hurts too much. But that machine... pulled it out of me. And now there are all these memories that feel so good that they hurt. I don't know what to do with them."
"Share them," Vala said. Sam looked up and Vala shrugged. "I never knew your Janet. Tell me about her. Maybe that will make the memories hurt less."
Sam looked at the door and saw that they were alone. She closed her eyes and sagged against the table. "Janet was... gorgeous. Kind. The first day we met..."
As soon as she started talking, she found the words and stories came easily. She told Vala about Janet, about the first flailing attempts at having a secret relationship with a teenager in the house and Cassandra's ultimate discovery of what her mom's best friend was really doing during all those sleepovers.
When Vala stretched both arms over her head and yawned, Sam checked her watch. "Geez, it's already that late?" she straightened and stretched her back.
"I should go," Vala said, hopping down off the counter. "Thank you for sharing Janet with me. It's good to see you smile again."
"Yeah. I think I made a mistake trying not to think of her at all. Thanks for being here for me, Vala."
"Any time. And any time you want to share more stories of her, I'd be happy to listen."
Sam nodded. "Good-night, Vala."
Vala saluted. "Good-night, Samantha."
Sam turned back to her laptop and hesitated with her fingers poised over the keys. She scanned the far, dark corners of the room. She whispered, "Good night, Pooh bear."
Good night, Rabbit.
Sam smiled and went back to her work.
Author: geonncannon
Pairing: Sam/Janet
Word Count: 3,713
Category: Drama
Spoilers: "The Light," "Heroes," "Prometheus Unbound,"
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Rating: R
Author's Notes: Title is from "Delicate" by Damien Rice, which is such a Sam/Janet song (at least the verses).
Summary: Sam finds herself apparently unhinged in time.
Hands in a sheet, a soft kiss against the curve of her jaw. Rolling onto her side and feeling a soft thigh against her--
Under fluorescent lights of a movie theater, holding a massive tub of popcorn and leaning against the wall next to the payphones. It seemed like thousands of teenagers swarming past them and a head resting on her shoulder, a pair of arms wrapped around her elbow as they waited for Cassandra to just hurry up and get out of the--
"Sam?" Janet asked, lifting her head from the pillow. Her hair was wild, smashed flat on one side and her normally bright eyes puffy from sleep. Sam pushed her fingers through the rat's nest and whispered--
"This is stupid..." Janet panted against Sam's throat. The light over the driveway shone down on them like a spotlight. Janet's back was against the wall of the garage, her right foot planted against the wall as Sam's hands roamed across her blouse. "We should stop. Go... inside..."
Sam pulled back, panting, and put her hands on Janet's shoulders. "Do you want to? Stop, I mean?"
Janet put her hands on Sam's hips and pulled her closer. "Not yet."
Sam smiled and covered Janet's body with her own as--
Sam jerked.
Across the table, Daniel looked up and raised his eyebrows. "Sam?"
She frowned at him, wondering what had just happened. She looked to her right and saw Teal'c was also staring at her. "Sorry," she said. "Must have dozed off there for a second..."
"You, Carter?" General O'Neill said as he walked into the room. Sam stood at attention and he waved her down. "Dozing off? Never." He took his seat with a groan and said, "All right. What cool things am I going to miss seeing on P44-832?"
"According to the locals," Daniel said, "there's a temple that used to be held by an unnamed god."
"Unnamed?" O'Neill said. "You mean a Goa'uld ran around without slapping his name all over everything in sight?"
Daniel hesitated. "Possibly. Or... we could be dealing with God."
"Big G?"
"Yes."
"Wow."
"I know."
"So..."
"Worth a look?" Daniel asked hopefully.
"Sounds like it to me," O'Neill said. To Sam, he said, "You move out at 0830."
"Thank you, sir." Sam stood and felt a rush of blood to her brain.
She reached out to steady herself against the briefing room table and felt a hand alight on the small of her back. "Whoa," Janet said. "You okay, baby?"
Sam closed her eyes and waited until the lightheadedness had passed before she looked over her shoulder at Janet. "Yeah. Whoa." She shook her head. "I just... it felt like I was just in a briefing with General O'Neill."
Janet blinked and then laughed. "General O'Neill, huh? Don't let him hear you say that. He may get a big head."
Sam frowned and straightened. Right. Colonel O'Neill... Why had she said General? She pushed away from the table and smiled at Janet. "I'll be fine. Just a bit of a head rush."
"I'll say," Janet said. She gestured at the table and Sam picked up the dirty dinner plate and carried it into the kitchen. Janet followed her and dumped her handful in the sink, running the faucet as she rolled up her sleeves. "Cassandra wanted you to look over her chemistry assignment before tomorrow morning."
"Okay," Sam said. She pulled a towel from the drawer and wound it between her hands. She eyed the denim of Janet's backside, bit her bottom lip and let the towel fly. It connected with a loud "SNAP!" and Janet's body arched from the assault.
She spun around, eyes wide and wild, and said, "You're going to pay for that."
Sam laughed and--
--pulled Janet closer against her, spooned against her lover from behind. Their bodies were slick with sweat, Sam's right hand captured between Janet's thighs and the fingers of her left splayed over Janet's throat. Janet was whimpering, her lower lip trembling as she thrust against Sam's hand. She could feel Janet's pulse against her palm, could taste the salty sweetness of her throat as her fingers pushed inside and--
--"Don't."
"Well, what should I call you?"
"Not that," Janet said.
Sam sighed and brushed Janet's hair away from her forehead. "How about a cartoon character? Eeyore."
"I'm not that depressing, am I?"
"Piglet."
"I take offense at the 'pig' part of that pet name."
Sam rolled her eyes. "Well, then you can be Pooh."
"Pooh was fat."
Sam slid her hand over Janet's stomach and watched her squirm. They both laughed and Sam said, "But Pooh was my favorite. I used to have a stuffed Pooh bear toy that I slept with every night."
Janet rolled on top of Sam and kissed her chin. "Pooh, huh?"
"We could go through the annals of cartoon history and see if there's something else you like better..."
"No," Janet said. She kissed Sam's lips and said, "I think I'd like it if you called me Pooh. Your little Pooh bear."
Sam smiled. "Then what will you call me?"
Janet ruffled Sam's blonde hair and said, "Rabbit, of course!"
Sam laughed and reached up to straighten her hair as--
--the Stargate kawoosh exploded out, startling her. She backpedaled, eyes wide as she tried to comprehend the sudden change in scenery. There was a strong hand suddenly on her shoulder and she turned to see Teal'c looking at her with concern. "Carter?" General O'Neill said over the speaker. "Everything okay?"
Sam looked up at him. General O'Neill. Right. Why had Janet thought that was so strange? "Fine, sir," she assured him. She glanced at the team and then hesitated. "Wait. We can't go yet."
"What's the problem?" Daniel asked.
"Cameron and Vala aren't here yet."
Daniel blinked. "Vala... Vala, the woman who tried to steal the Prometheus? Why would she be here?"
Sam frowned at Teal'c. "What mission is this?"
"We are to investigate a temple on P44-832," Teal'c said.
"Right," Sam said. Right mission, General O'Neill... she didn't even remember why she'd thought Vala was supposed to have been there. She gestured at the ramp and said, "Right. I'm fine. Just a little out-of-sorts." She started forward and placed her boot on the ramp--
--and ran her fingers through Janet's feather-light hair. The house was silent and they were reading on the couch. Janet was barefoot in jeans and a white t-shirt and, when Sam looked down, she saw a strip of bare flesh between Janet's stomach and the waistband of her jeans. She moved her hand from Janet's hair to that spot and slipped her fingertips over Janet's belly.
"Stop," Janet whispered.
"I'm going up," Sam said. "I could be going down..." She teased the catch of Janet's jeans with her index finger.
"Don't make me spank you again," Janet warned.
Sam realized that her backside was a bit sore. She withdrew her hand and rested it on Janet's stomach, on top of the shirt this time. Janet covered Sam's hand with her own, chuckled quietly and went back to her book. Sam looked down at Janet's bare feet, crossed at the ankles on the arm of the couch. "Janet?" Sam asked.
"Mm?"
"Nothing... i-it's nothing."
Janet looked up. "What is it, baby?"
"I've felt like I'm... like I'm blacking out. But I'm jumping around."
"Jumping around how?"
"I'll be here, with you, playing in the kitchen, and then suddenly, I'll be--"
--dust blew in Sam's eyes and she ducked away from it as she groped for her goggles. When she looked again, she saw Daniel examining a stone wall a few feet away. She turned and saw Teal'c behind her. The Stargate was visible in the distance and they seemed to be surrounded by canvas-covered lean-tos. She saw curious natives standing outside their homes, faces wrapped against the sand, watching the strangers work.
Sam walked up to Daniel and said, "Have you got that thing figured out yet?"
"I haven't even begun," Daniel said. He stepped back and gestured at the carvings. "There's practically an entire planetary history here."
"Well, hurry it up. I want to get back before General Landry starts to worry."
Daniel half-turned. "Who?"
"General Landry."
"I believe you mean General Hammond, don't you, Captain?"
Sam spun around and saw Jack O'Neill walking towards them. He leaned against the wall and kicked the sand from his boots. Sam frowned. "General...?"
"General?" Daniel said.
Jack straightened slowly. "You okay, Carter?"
"Fine..."
"...sir."
Janet settled against Sam's thigh and chuckled low in her throat. "Oh, that's a little too kinky, baby," she whispered. It was night and the lights were out. Janet was naked, thrusting between Sam's legs, her hair sticking to her face. She bent down and kissed Sam's chest, sliding her tongue up Sam's throat until she was nibbling her earlobe. "You can call me 'ma'am,' though... do it, Sam..."
Sam groaned and arched her back. "Yes, ma'am..."
She felt Janet shudder against her--
--and then soft hands closed on her shoulders. "Just relax," Janet whispered. "Lean back into me."
Sam didn't know what the hell was going on, but she wasn't going to question it at times like this. When her body was suddenly sore and achy and Janet's hands were on her, it didn't matter that she didn't seem to have control of her -- Janet in the shower -- actions or her memory. It didn't matter that -- hugging a crying Janet after a fight -- her mind couldn't seem to stay focused.
Janet said, "You've been a godsend these past couple of days. I don't know what I would've done without you."
"You'd have managed," Sam said, completely clueless as to what Janet was talking about.
"No, I don't think I would have. I'm used to being in charge, giving orders in the infirmary. But this girl..."
Cassandra. Janet's first couple of days as Cassandra's guardian. Which meant this was their first shoulder rub. Which meant tonight would be their first kiss. Sam's heart skipped and she reached up to touch Janet's hand. "You're doing fine."
"Thank you for that," Janet said. She moved her free hand and brushed her knuckles across the back of Sam's neck. Sam shivered at the contact and said, "I, uh... I should go."
"Yeah," Janet whispered. She released Sam's shoulders and stepped away from the chair. Sam stood and faced Janet. They walked to the door and Janet said, "Thank you again for being here."
"It's my pleasure." She embraced Janet, her heart pounding as she remembered how this night had gone the first time.
"Your heart is pounding," Janet said against Sam's shoulder. She pulled back and said, "Are you okay?"
Sam cupped Janet's cheek and leaned in.
Their first kiss had been like magic. Sam felt her bottom lip trembling as it pressed against Janet's, her mouth open so that her upper lip brushed against the notch between Janet's mouth and nose. Janet's eyes were open and, when Sam opened her eyes, she saw that gorgeous dark brown gaze locked on her.
Sam put her arms around Janet and eased her against the wall, deepening the kiss with a sweep of her tongue. Janet kept her hands out to the side, helpless as her best friend kissed her. Kissed her well. When they finally parted, Sam released her embrace and stepped back. "I'm sorry," Sam whispered.
Janet had one hand already on her lips, her eyes wide as she tried to figure out what had just happened. "I think... y-you should go," Janet said softly.
Sam nodded and turned away so Janet wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. She opened the door and hurried down the walkway to her car, trying to hold back the tears until she was safely out of sight. She climbed behind the wheel and immediately slumped forward, her hands against the wheel and her forehead resting on her knuckles.
"Go on," she hissed. "Take me away again. Please! Take me away again."
She remembered the rest of the night clearly; getting home to find the answering machine flashing, to hear Janet's message: "I'm sorry I sent you away. I was just shocked. Thank you, Sam. It was lovely. It was more than lovely, but I... I can't deal with it right at this moment. I hope you understand that it was the timing and not you that I was rejecting. Please, come by tomorrow. I want to talk to you about... about a lot of things. And thank you, Sam. Oh, thank you so much."
The knowledge didn't help, however. The pain was too much at the moment. She wiped at her eyes and said, "Come on! Whoever is doing this, please... send me somewhere else. Please, I can't take this again..."
"Can't take what?"
Sam looked up and saw Janet pouring a glass of orange juice. Sam was leaning against the counter in the kitchen, sun shining through the kitchen window to a spot just beyond her feet. The sunlight was warming her cold toes. She pushed away from the counter, grabbed Janet by the shoulders and pulled her into a kiss. Janet moaned and playfully slapped at Sam's chest.
"Stop it," Janet laughed when Sam let her up for air.
"Say you love me," Sam said.
Janet looked at Sam's face. "Have you been crying? Sam..."
"Please, Janet."
"I love you," Janet said. She kissed the wet tracks on Sam's cheeks and said, "I love you, Sam. Are you okay?"
Sam squeezed Janet and said, "I am now."
"And...?" Janet prompted.
Sam laughed. "And I love you, too."
"Good girl," Janet said. "You're sure you're all right?"
"I'm fine."
"Good to hear," O'Neill said.
Sam blinked. She was back on the planet. P44-whatever. Daniel had the door to the temple standing open and the Gene-- the Colonel -- was standing in the dark entrance. "So, since you're fine... you care to join us?"
She looked over her shoulder at the group of natives who were still watching them. She tightened her grip on her weapon and stepped into the cool darkness.
After her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw a wide room with an altar at the far end. Daniel was walking towards it, the beam of his flashlight sliding up the far wall. "According to these carvings, this place is called the 'Abode of Bliss'," he said, his voice bouncing off the walls.
"Sounds positively sinful," O'Neill said as he entered the temple behind Sam. "Found the light switch yet?"
Sam lifted her flashlight and said, "Vala found one over there."
Daniel turned. "Who?"
"Is this one of those... Jolinar things?" O'Neill asked.
Sam frowned and said, "I don't think so..."
O'Neill walked to where she'd indicated and slapped the wall a few times. His hand slid over a small glass dome and it lit up bright red. The cavernous room lit up with a gentle glow. "Well, whoever this Valerie is," O'Neill said, "looks like she knew her lights."
Sam walked across the room to the altar. It was a low, stone tablet with a base that looked far more technologically advanced. She knelt down and examined the console. "Sir, I think we've seen something like this before..."
"Where?"
"P4X-347. The Goa'uld pleasure palace."
O'Neill thought for a moment and said, "I know I'm not the best with those P-four-whatever numbers, but I'm sure I would remember a Goa'uld pleasure palace."
Sam stood and frowned at him. "Sir, we were stranded there for almost four weeks. How could you not remember?"
O'Neill raised his eyebrow and looked past her shoulder. "Daniel?"
"Um... sorry, Sam, but... it's not ringing a bell with me, either."
Sam looked at Teal'c, who was looking at her with concern. "Loran. We met the kid who... whose parents had..."
"Get her out of that thing!"
"I'm trying!"
"Try harder, damn it!"
Sam stumbled and Daniel reached out to grab her. Janet wrapped both arms around Sam and guided her to the couch. "You just need to lie down," Janet said. She stretched Sam out on the couch and said, "Would you like a foot rub?"
Sam was on all-fours and Janet was behind her. She blushed as she felt Janet's hands slid up her spine and then they were on the floor, watching a movie with the rest of SG-1 and playing footsie unseen under the blanket. Sam cut Janet's hair. Janet washed Sam's hair in a bubble bath.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait," Sam said, managing to utter the word only once per scene. She closed her eyes, felt hands on her, in her, moving across her body and feeling clothes appear and disappear. Janet kissed her, she nuzzled Janet's neck, she and Janet held hands, she and Janet making love, she and Janet in the car, she and Janet...
Something popped and her vision swam. She felt nauseous, weak. Three pairs of hands lifted her, two on each arm and one on her legs. She was lifted and placed gently on the hard, stone ground.
"Anything?" Cameron Mitchell.
"She's not responsive," Daniel said.
"Wait," she gasped.
"She's coming around!" Vala.
"Wait..."
"Sam, can you hear me?" Daniel. "Teal'c went to get help. How long was she in that thing?"
"I don't know," Cameron said. Two fingers pressed against her throat. "Sam, can you hear me?"
"Yes," she whispered.
"It's all right. You're safe now."
~
Two days later, fully rehydrated and the wounds on her temples all but healed, Cameron came to visit her. "Hey, Sam. Feeling better?"
"A little more solid," she assured him.
"We got a little more information on that altar if you wanna know...?" She nodded and he opened the file he was carrying. "Kind of a cheat sheet," he explained. "Jackson says the altar was similar in design to the light device you-all found six years ago on P4X-347. It drew you in and, once you were hooked up, it sent you pleasing images to make sure you didn't try to escape."
"Escape? I didn't even know I was trapped," she said.
"All part of Dr. Evil's design, most likely."
"Dr. Evil?"
"Yeah, until we figure out whoever designs these freaky monster machines, it's as good a name as any, right? Anyway, it draws you in, drugs you to make sure you're docile and sends you pretty colors to make sure you don't try to leave before it does what it needs to do."
"And what is that?" Sam asked. "What does it do?"
"Drains you. Your life, everything you have. Jackson can't figure out why it does that, but he figures it was a form of execution for whatever Goa'uld ran that place."
"I thought it was... God?"
"God? As in... no." He scanned the file. "Jackson says there were signs of Kali all over the place. It was her summer place, I guess."
"Oh," Sam whispered.
Cameron nodded and patted her leg through the blanket. "Cheer up, Carter. We got you out safe and sound. You're home now."
Sam forced a smile. Home meant that Janet was dead.
"Yeah," Sam said. "Home."
Cam left with a promise to check up on her in a few hours. Sam rolled onto her side and stared at the monitor beside her bed. She closed her eyes and let her tears fall to the pillow.
~
Vala tiptoed up to the door and peered in. Sam was working on her laptop, of course, as always. She knocked on the door and Sam jumped slightly before turning to face her. "Vala. What is it?"
"Just came by to see you. You've seemed... glum... lately." She leaned against the table next to Sam and looked down at the laptop's screen. "You okay?"
"Fine," Sam assured her. "I'm actually kind of..."
"What did you see?"
Sam looked up.
"You've been down ever since we pulled you out of that bliss machine. So I figured you must have seen something really nice to be so depressed afterward."
Sam averted her gaze and played with the cap of her pen for a moment. "Someone I loved."
"You don't love them anymore?"
"No, I do," Sam whispered. "I love her more than ever. But she's... gone. She died."
Vala sobered. "Oh. I am sorry."
"I've been trying to force myself not to think of her," Sam said. She looked at her hands and pictured them lying on Janet's stomach while they read. A tear formed in her eye and she wiped it angrily away. "It hurts too much. But that machine... pulled it out of me. And now there are all these memories that feel so good that they hurt. I don't know what to do with them."
"Share them," Vala said. Sam looked up and Vala shrugged. "I never knew your Janet. Tell me about her. Maybe that will make the memories hurt less."
Sam looked at the door and saw that they were alone. She closed her eyes and sagged against the table. "Janet was... gorgeous. Kind. The first day we met..."
As soon as she started talking, she found the words and stories came easily. She told Vala about Janet, about the first flailing attempts at having a secret relationship with a teenager in the house and Cassandra's ultimate discovery of what her mom's best friend was really doing during all those sleepovers.
When Vala stretched both arms over her head and yawned, Sam checked her watch. "Geez, it's already that late?" she straightened and stretched her back.
"I should go," Vala said, hopping down off the counter. "Thank you for sharing Janet with me. It's good to see you smile again."
"Yeah. I think I made a mistake trying not to think of her at all. Thanks for being here for me, Vala."
"Any time. And any time you want to share more stories of her, I'd be happy to listen."
Sam nodded. "Good-night, Vala."
Vala saluted. "Good-night, Samantha."
Sam turned back to her laptop and hesitated with her fingers poised over the keys. She scanned the far, dark corners of the room. She whispered, "Good night, Pooh bear."
Good night, Rabbit.
Sam smiled and went back to her work.