FIC: "Once I Knew a Goddess," Charlotte Benoit/Helen Magnus, Sanctuary, Mature
Title: Once I Knew a Goddess
Author: geonncannon
Fandom: Sanctuary
Pairing: Charlotte Benoit/Helen Magnus
Word Count: 1,050
Category: Romance, Post-series
Spoilers: Monsoon
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me!
Rating: Mature
Summary: Charlotte reminisces about her time with Helen Magnus.
AO3 link
Once I knew a goddess. I didn't recognize her as such at first, it's hard to tell this sort of thing on the surface. Oh, I knew there was something unique about her and I knew she had some ineffable difference that separated her from the rest of us. The world seemed to fold itself around her. She was a part of it and apart from it at the same time. Watching her move through the room was like watching something that shouldn't be possible. Poise and grace and dignity, with an easy smile and a sense of humor and legs I would have crawled across broken glass just to touch.
Once I knew a goddess, and she made me less afraid. A poison in my veins and a gun at my throat, surrounded by villainous monsters that killed without remorse or thought. She made it possible for me to be brave, made me believe I could be strong, and with her guidance I helped save myself. She never patronized me. Never spoke down to me. Never gave the impression I was a burden or bothersome to her. She made me feel strong for the first time in a very long time, and I loved her for that.
Once I knew a goddess, and when I kissed her she kissed me back. She altered her plans, changed her routine, and let me take her to a bed. She allowed me to undress her and worship her naked body like a supplicant, and she ignored my tears when I held her close. I made her wet with my lips and fingers, and she tangled her fingers in my hair as I gave her pleasure. In those moments she had never looked more pure, more divine, or more human.
Once I knew a goddess, and I watched her sleep. I saw years on her face, vulnerability that wasn't present when she was awake, and a deep pain that she had never once hinted at. I heard her murmur the names of the other gods - James and Nikola and Nigel - and I heard her whimper in a terror I didn't know she felt when she said the innocuous name "John." I held her in those moments, sacrificing my sleep for her comfort, and when she woke and felt my body against hers she whispered a soft and unnecessary "thank you."
Once a goddess saw me, and she took my hand when logic dictated she should keep walking. A brief tryst, a face remembered fondly in memories and perhaps a photograph, another soul that walked with her through the fire. I deduced she'd walked through many fires with many companions, understood that I was neither her first nor last lover. I wouldn't have been comfortable serving as her All and Only, anyway. The fact that she came to me, that she was happy with me, was all that mattered. And I would have understood if she walked away and I never saw her again.
But once, a goddess came to me. She spoke of my courage. She claimed she was stronger when I was near. She praised the way I treated her, though I hadn't the foggiest notion what she meant. How did I treat her? How was I different from the hordes and multitudes that came before me? I couldn't know and she wouldn't say. She would only smile that enigmatic smile, tilt her head, and assure me that it was a refreshing change. It was something she had longed for without realizing it, and now that she'd found it, she wouldn't let me go without a fight.
Once I knew a goddess. She was human in the end, who wept and bled and felt loss. She was two hundred and seventy-six years old when I met her, ancient and modern and recent-past all in one. I could see worlds behind her eyes, and I knew her secrets would fill libraries worth of books. But she shared one secret with me, a vital secret, one that she hadn't told to her closest friends. A Utopia, built on the ruins of tragedy. A new hope for her mission, a chance to start fresh. She asked me to be a part of it, the Eve to her Lilith. I said yes, for one does not refuse a goddess when she's offering you Eden.
Once I knew a goddess, and I know her still. I call her Persephone and she calls me Eurydice. She brings me flowers and I give her music. I watch as she silently changes the world and I am in awe of her. Of her strength and her humility, and the humble anonymity with which she saves us each and every day. She asks for nothing in return, a heroine saving the world simply because it needs to be saved. She asks only that I stand by her side and hold her when the night feels small and the weight of her losses becomes too much to bear. It's the least I could do in return for everything she has done for me.
Once I knew a goddess. We spoke of lemurs and scientific nonsense that would have bored a lesser person to tears. When the sun set that day, I was inside her and she was inside of me. Whatever happened between was mere stage dressing. Everything that has happened since is white noise. The only thing that remains the same, the only thing that matters, is her head on my chest and her hand on my hip.
Once a goddess knew me, and she took me underground to dwell with her in the kingdom she'd spent a century silently constructing. She saved my life once, and I save her life every night since. I listen to the names she whispers - Ashley, Ashley, Ashley - and I whisper to her that everything is all right. I tell her she's safe. I tell her that nothing will happen to her while I'm there. It's a promise I doubt I could always keep, but I will always, always make it. And I will never stop trying to keep it.
Once I knew a goddess, and she let me hold her in the night. And for that honor, no price will ever be too steep.
Author: geonncannon
Fandom: Sanctuary
Pairing: Charlotte Benoit/Helen Magnus
Word Count: 1,050
Category: Romance, Post-series
Spoilers: Monsoon
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me!
Rating: Mature
Summary: Charlotte reminisces about her time with Helen Magnus.
AO3 link
Once I knew a goddess. I didn't recognize her as such at first, it's hard to tell this sort of thing on the surface. Oh, I knew there was something unique about her and I knew she had some ineffable difference that separated her from the rest of us. The world seemed to fold itself around her. She was a part of it and apart from it at the same time. Watching her move through the room was like watching something that shouldn't be possible. Poise and grace and dignity, with an easy smile and a sense of humor and legs I would have crawled across broken glass just to touch.
Once I knew a goddess, and she made me less afraid. A poison in my veins and a gun at my throat, surrounded by villainous monsters that killed without remorse or thought. She made it possible for me to be brave, made me believe I could be strong, and with her guidance I helped save myself. She never patronized me. Never spoke down to me. Never gave the impression I was a burden or bothersome to her. She made me feel strong for the first time in a very long time, and I loved her for that.
Once I knew a goddess, and when I kissed her she kissed me back. She altered her plans, changed her routine, and let me take her to a bed. She allowed me to undress her and worship her naked body like a supplicant, and she ignored my tears when I held her close. I made her wet with my lips and fingers, and she tangled her fingers in my hair as I gave her pleasure. In those moments she had never looked more pure, more divine, or more human.
Once I knew a goddess, and I watched her sleep. I saw years on her face, vulnerability that wasn't present when she was awake, and a deep pain that she had never once hinted at. I heard her murmur the names of the other gods - James and Nikola and Nigel - and I heard her whimper in a terror I didn't know she felt when she said the innocuous name "John." I held her in those moments, sacrificing my sleep for her comfort, and when she woke and felt my body against hers she whispered a soft and unnecessary "thank you."
Once a goddess saw me, and she took my hand when logic dictated she should keep walking. A brief tryst, a face remembered fondly in memories and perhaps a photograph, another soul that walked with her through the fire. I deduced she'd walked through many fires with many companions, understood that I was neither her first nor last lover. I wouldn't have been comfortable serving as her All and Only, anyway. The fact that she came to me, that she was happy with me, was all that mattered. And I would have understood if she walked away and I never saw her again.
But once, a goddess came to me. She spoke of my courage. She claimed she was stronger when I was near. She praised the way I treated her, though I hadn't the foggiest notion what she meant. How did I treat her? How was I different from the hordes and multitudes that came before me? I couldn't know and she wouldn't say. She would only smile that enigmatic smile, tilt her head, and assure me that it was a refreshing change. It was something she had longed for without realizing it, and now that she'd found it, she wouldn't let me go without a fight.
Once I knew a goddess. She was human in the end, who wept and bled and felt loss. She was two hundred and seventy-six years old when I met her, ancient and modern and recent-past all in one. I could see worlds behind her eyes, and I knew her secrets would fill libraries worth of books. But she shared one secret with me, a vital secret, one that she hadn't told to her closest friends. A Utopia, built on the ruins of tragedy. A new hope for her mission, a chance to start fresh. She asked me to be a part of it, the Eve to her Lilith. I said yes, for one does not refuse a goddess when she's offering you Eden.
Once I knew a goddess, and I know her still. I call her Persephone and she calls me Eurydice. She brings me flowers and I give her music. I watch as she silently changes the world and I am in awe of her. Of her strength and her humility, and the humble anonymity with which she saves us each and every day. She asks for nothing in return, a heroine saving the world simply because it needs to be saved. She asks only that I stand by her side and hold her when the night feels small and the weight of her losses becomes too much to bear. It's the least I could do in return for everything she has done for me.
Once I knew a goddess. We spoke of lemurs and scientific nonsense that would have bored a lesser person to tears. When the sun set that day, I was inside her and she was inside of me. Whatever happened between was mere stage dressing. Everything that has happened since is white noise. The only thing that remains the same, the only thing that matters, is her head on my chest and her hand on my hip.
Once a goddess knew me, and she took me underground to dwell with her in the kingdom she'd spent a century silently constructing. She saved my life once, and I save her life every night since. I listen to the names she whispers - Ashley, Ashley, Ashley - and I whisper to her that everything is all right. I tell her she's safe. I tell her that nothing will happen to her while I'm there. It's a promise I doubt I could always keep, but I will always, always make it. And I will never stop trying to keep it.
Once I knew a goddess, and she let me hold her in the night. And for that honor, no price will ever be too steep.